


Mirrors

by MarieEliz967



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Mirrors, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 20:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 57,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieEliz967/pseuds/MarieEliz967
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis are stuck in different times, only able to communicate through a mirror. What happens when Harry discovers something that could change Louis' future? </p><p>If you could change the past, how far would you go in order to save the one you love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drops Of Jupiter

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so this is a new story for us, and it's a little complicated to write so bare with us. This is obviously a Larry fanfic, and will be a short story (about 10 chapters). We really hope you like it because we have spent a lot of time trying to figure and plan it out. Like we said, as it continues it is kind of a complicated, and at times confusing story, but please stick with us until the end as we have a lot in store for Harry and Louis. So just stick it out until the end and it will make sense and you'll all hopefully love it as much as we do. Remember to vote and comment! We love to hear from you.
> 
> Feel free to follow us on Twitter:  
> MarieEliz967

Harry's POV:

Boston.

A city filled with history and culture, a mix between both new and old. I loved the atmosphere that all the people surrounding me created. I was a part of something so big, yet still had that sliver of anonymity.  I admit, at first I was intimidated by the hustle and bustle of the crowds of people, feeling as if they were going to swallow me up whole, but over time it gave me comfort and security. Something about it reminded me of my home in England. I had moved here four years ago to attend college for writing, and it was a decision I have never regretted. While I did miss my family and the familiarity of my home, I loved having the opportunity to start fresh in a new place, and to create a life for myself, especially after my rather complicated and eventful upbringing. 

When I was ten, my parents divorced as a result to my dad's poor drinking habits.  I remember the first night he came home and hit my mom. He wasn't usually a violent person, but when he drank the hard stuff things tended to get out of hand.  My mom was strong, though, and refused to take that kind of treatment from him.  She packed his bags and kicked him out the next day. I had no idea what to make of the situation; one minute I was cowering in the corner during their argument, and the next I was in the court room beside my sister as we dealt with the custody battle. 

The divorce was hard on all of us, both emotionally and financially. When I was sixteen I got my first job working at the local bakery down the street from our house.  It wasn't the best paying but it helped my mom with the bills.  She did her best to support us, proving time and time again her strength and determination to give us a good life. After my dad was out of the picture, she started working two jobs; during the day she was a nurse at the hospital just outside the town limits. At night she would spend her time waitressing.  I hated seeing her have to work so hard, but we had no other options.  Between school and working at the bakery I couldn't afford to take up another job as much as I wanted to. My sister went down a very different route, however, often causing more trouble than not. She was fourteen when my dad left, and for a while I don't think she ever truly forgave my mom for making him leave. Her grades in school started to be negatively affected as she stayed out late into the nights with the wrong crowd.  

Though I don't ever regret being there for my family, most of my teenage years revolved around me playing the role of the dad, as well as the "older" sibling. I remember waking up at night to Gemma and my mom arguing in the kitchen over her finding alcohol in her schoolbag. Or the times where I had to step between Gemma and her boyfriends who would try to take advantage of her.  Mike was the worst one she brought home, though thankfully that relationship did not last long.  I recall watching out the window as they pulled up in his loud, beat down truck.  They were fighting when I saw him reach forward and hit her across the face.  She looked at him stunned, her palms pressed against her cheek.  Within minutes I had him ripped from the car and on the ground, blind with rage as I repeatedly knocked him down with more force than I thought I had inside me. 

She didn't talk to me for a week after that, angered by my reaction. I didn't care though; I had watched my dad hit my mom and I'd be damned to see the same thing happen to my sister. 

The worst incident happened when she was eighteen.  I remember my mom getting the phone call at two in the morning, telling us that Gemma had been in a drunk driving accident and was in the emergency room.  My mom broke into hysterics and I tried my best to calm her down while driving to the hospital. When we entered her room, my mom ran into Gemma's arms. I knew she was furious by her drinking, but at the moment all that mattered was that she was alive.  That night was the first time I had seen my dad since the divorce.  The three of us sat on the bed, each exhausted by the course of emotions that had been flowing through us, when he walked in with flowers in hand.  My body went numb; I almost didn't recognize him.  He was thinner, and looked much older than he should after only four years.  I attributed that to the drinking. 

My mom rushed out with him into the hallway, afraid that if Gemma woke up and saw him that she'd have a breakdown. I sat there watching as they fought, my mom ripping the flowers from his hands and throwing them on the cold tiled floor. He looked at me and in that moment I felt for him; I would never excuse his behaviors or what he did to my mom, but here was this broken man, an outsider to his own family. I had the memories of our childhood to remember him by, but right now the man in front of me was nothing but a stranger.  I was the one who took care of my mom and sister; the one making sure they were protected and cared for.  Not him who was off doing God knows what for four years.  

Things changed after that night.  Gemma finally had her wake up call and started to begin living her life.  She finished high school and went on to college for teaching.  Today she was living in a small apartment back home with her boyfriend of two years.  I couldn't have been more relieved when she met Jamie, who was a stark contrast to her previous boyfriends.  If I didn't know any better, I suspected that he was going to propose to her very soon. 

Like Gemma, school became my first priority, and I knew that if I was going to go to college I needed scholarships more than anything.  When my senior year came around I found myself yearning to study in America; wanting nothing more than to escape this town for a while, despite the fact that I would be leaving my mother behind.  I remember one night my mom came home from work and placed an envelope on my lap as I was studying.  I had no idea what to expect, but with the excitement radiating from her entire body I knew it was something good.  When I opened it I saw the plane ticket to Boston that left a week from that day.  My mom had saved up her tip money for months in order to buy me this ticket to tour colleges in America.  I refused to accept it at first, telling her to refund the ticket and use the money for herself. Being the stubborn woman that she is, she wouldn't hear of it and practically packed my bags herself.  

When I arrived in Boston I knew that I had found my escape; I loved the people and shops and atmosphere.  I applied to UMass and was ecstatic that I was accepted into the writing program. After high school, I reluctantly said goodbye to my sister and mother and headed off to an entire new world.  College was both the best and worst thing I had ever experienced.  Between the intense course work and multiple jobs that I had to apply to in order to pay tuition, I had aged at least fifteen years.  Regardless, I wouldn't change one minute of it because I realized more than ever how much I had loved writing. It had always been my favorite thing to do, whether it be poems I'd jot down while pretending to pay attention in lectures, or the short stories I'd eagerly try to finish late into the nights. It allowed me the chance to open up and expose myself in a way that had meaning and purpose; a look inside my deepest thoughts and desires. Regardless the significance of the words I'd written, they gave me a sense of calmness.

With college graduation finally checked off the list, I was lucky enough to be offered a job at a small newspaper just outside the city limits. When I was a Junior, I worked at an internship for the same company. It started off as a small role, such as running errands or rushing to grab trays of coffee. The following year I was once again offered a position there, though this time with more freedom to write. During my final month working, just before graduation, I wrote an article and submitted it to the paper. My boss was unexpectedly surprised by my abilities, and referred me to another branch for an official position after graduation. It was an opportunity I could not turn down as college students weren't given many, and I had no place to be picky. As long as I was writing I didn't care where I was. 

After graduation, I took a few months off to spend some time back home before starting my new job; eager to be back in the familiar town and comfort of my mom and sister. When my alotted time off came to a close I began searching for apartments in the Boston area.  To my surprise we found one just a short drive from both the UMass campus as well as the company that I would be working for.  It was small, but was cheap enough to afford on my minimal salary.  

I sighed and looked up at the streetlight, watching as it turned green, before signaling onto the street of the apartment. I had been here once before to get a quick walk through of the place, and immediately knew it was the one. What I loved about it was the character and homey feel it offered. It was already furnished, which I was thankful for. I had barely enough money to afford this place, thanks to the thousands of dollars of debt I now owed for my education.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I grabbed a box from the back of my car and headed up the small black stairwell leading to the apartment. I fiddled with the keys, trying to balance the box on my knee.  Opening the door, I flipped on the lights and took in my new home. The walls were washed red brick, covered with black and white photographs of the city. The ceilings had exposed beams that made the room seem bigger than it actually was.

After several more trips back down to my car, I finally had all of my belongings placed in my apartment. I took time to put everything in its new place, though it wasn't a lot considering most of it had all once been stored in my small dorm room.

I decided to leave the rest of the unpacking until after work tomorrow, and headed towards the bedroom. The apartment only consisted of a kitchen, living room, bathroom and one bedroom, but it had an open concept and flowed easily from one room to the next. The bed was a simple mattress on a wooden frame, rising only a foot or two above the ground. I wasn't picky on the furniture that the place offered, knowing perfectly well that if it hadn't been furnished I would be sleeping on the floor right now.

I quickly turned over in bed and fell asleep, trying to ignore the odd sounds coming from the living room.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I got up in the morning the nerves kicked in. I had no idea what to wear, finally settling on black jeans, a white button down and black boots. They assured me when I went for the interview that this wasn't a suit and tie kind of company, which worked in my favor considering I didn't even own a suit.

I grabbed my keys off the counter, along with my brown bag and headed out the door, making a mental note to stop at the coffee shop around the corner.

Last night was not a particularly good night. I didn't know what it was that kept me tossing and turning; the fact that I was in a strange new place, or the random noises I'd hear in the living room. I wasn't one to readily blame the paranormal, so I tried to dismiss them as old pipes rattling. But every once and a while I'd think I hear a voice, making me jump up in bed thinking someone had broken in. I'd definitely have to invest in a baseball bat to keep beneath my bed.

When I got to the office, I attempted to push aside my nerves and appear calm and confident as I walked through the glass doors and to the front desk. The woman behind it offered me a warm smile and told me to take a seat after giving my name. I waited until my boss appeared around the corner, extending his hand. I stood up and shook it, returning the gesture.

"Mr. Styles, how are you?"

"I'm great, Mr. Jamieson. Excited to be here." I said, trying not to sound too eager.

"Well we're glad to have you here. Come with me and I'll show you to your work space. It's not much, but you'll have a desk and computer." He said, leading me down a hallway and too a room filled with people. Everyone seemed to be lost in their own world, whether they be typing furiously onto the keys of their computers, or rushing in and out of offices with stacks of paper placed messily within their hands.

"Now I expect you to have your piece completed on time and in my office for review. As your time here continues and if things seem to be going well, then you'll be given more freedom to write what you please. For now you'll be focusing on the topics that I'll provide you in advance. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask." Mr. Jamieson said, giving me one last smile before heading back out from where we came.

I was feeling overwhelmed by my very brief, yet slightly intimidating exchange with my boss, and the back and forth that was occurring all throughout the room was enough to drive me mad. I took a deep breath and sat down at my desk, noticing a small post it note placed on the screen of the computer.

_Your first assignment:_

_Student loans affect on the economy_

_Mr. J_

Go figure.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walked in the front door, throwing my keys on the coffee table besides the couch, and kicking off my shoes. Today was not at all how I expected it to be. For the longest time I had the crazy notion that after graduation I'd be offered my dream job and would be writing novels and publishing books that I had spent so much time and effort working on. Little did I know how wrong I could be. There was nothing exciting and glamorous about sitting in a room with twenty other people, trying to figure out how to discuss student loans. The topic itself made me cringe.

As I passed through the living room, I noticed something in the mirror. It was fast and I wasn't even sure I saw it, but it appeared to be a shadow walking by. I shook my head and chuckled to myself; must be the ghosts. I dismissed what I thought I saw, and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, before heading into the bedroom.

After the less than thrilling day that I had, I figured what better else to do than to write. I set my bottle on the brown desk across from the bed, and searched through my the boxes I hadn't yet unpacked for my brown leather notepad. Maybe it was cliche of me to keep one, but I liked the idea of actually writing down what I was thinking. Typing on a laptop didn't compare to the feeling I'd get when trying to eagerly write down the thoughts that seemed to want to jump right onto the paper, often leading me to getting ahead of myself. Or the ink spots that would cover the pages and my aching hands. There was an art to it, one which I greatly appreciated.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Louis' POV:

"Hey watch where you're going, asshole."

Oh the joys of living in such a heavily populated city as Boston. Sidewalks filled with tourists and college students, cars lining the streets. I guess there was a beauty too it, though, with its history and the varieties of life it possessed.

I held onto my camera a little tighter as I aimed it at small girl on her fathers shoulders in the park. With one simple click came a new memory. That was a big reason I went into photography. Life was such an incredible gift; offering all kinds of opportunities and experiences, and being able to capture these moments made them all the more special. I loved people watching, especially in a city like Boston where new people and situations were always around. Maybe taking photos of strangers was slightly taboo, but they fascinated me.

Boston had been my home for my entire life, and despite the occasional rude tourist, nothing was more beautiful than seeing the streets lit up at sunset. The area never failed to amaze me despite my familiarity with it.  I grew up in a small home just outside the city borders with my mother and five sisters.  My dad died in a car accident when I was six, and I honestly don't remember much about him.  After he died my mom struggled to support us on her salary as an elementary school principal, which left my grandparents to become an extremely influential and important part of our lives.  I'd remember coming home off the bus to see my grandmother in the kitchen preparing dinner while my grandfather read the newspaper in the living room beside the fireplace.  Having them there became an act of normalcy and habit, so when they passed away a huge part of our home was missing.  By that time I was old enough to start working, and spent my time busing tables at the coffee shop down the road to help my mom pay the bills. 

My sisters were a handful, though God knows I love them. They tried their best to help out in any way that they could, but it usually resulted in an argument or someone getting offended by another's words.  We had always been close though, confiding in one another when times got hard.  I was not ashamed to admit that these six women were my best friends and I cared for them more than anything. 

When I graduated high school, and college came around I knew that I had no intention of leaving them. I applied to UMass Boston and am currently studying photography in my senior year. Most people dismissed my career choice by saying that there was no value to it, but I knew they were wrong.  I received my first Polaroid camera when I was twelve. It was a Christmas gift from my grandparents, and I immediately fell in love with taking pictures. I loved catching people while they were laughing or my sisters when they were in a heated argument. It soon became more than just a hobby, and something that I wanted to do with the rest of my life. 

While at college, I had specific assignments I'd have to complete, demonstrating my capabilities as a photographer and student. But outside of the lecture halls, I worked freelance, giving me the chance to capture any moment I wanted, whenever. I was lucky enough to even have several of my photos presented at showcases and sold off.

The cool fall air blew the colored leaves off the trees, landing along the stone walkways in the park. People took their time walking along the paths, some stopping to sit on benches or throw coins into the fountain. I raised my camera at a couple who were standing beneath a streetlight, gently wrapped in one another's arms. The act was so simple, yet spoke a thousand words when looking back at the photograph. With one click, I smiled to myself and turned away, heading back towards my apartment.

I pulled my jacket up a little higher, noticing how quickly the sun was setting. The walk back was short, only a few blocks, which I was thankful for as the cool air nipped at my skin. When I opened the door to the apartment, I flipped on the lights and walked over to my camera case. After removing the film, I carefully placed the camera back inside and put it up on the shelf with the others. I guess you could say I was a bit of a collector, taking the time to search for vintage cameras to use. Each one performed the same act, yet could make a photo look so different.

I jumped slightly when I heard a noise coming from the living room. There was a bang, then a soft voice. My heart quickened at the thought of someone breaking in, as I reached behind my bedroom door for the baseball bat I kept. I walked into the room, noticing no one was there. I sighed in relief after searching the apartment, placing the bat alongside the coffee table. When I looked up, however, I noticed a shadow walk past the mirror. I almost didn't see it, but it was definitely there. I dismissed the thought and figured I must have been tired and imagining things.

Kicking off my shoes, I laid down on the black leather couch and fell asleep.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There it was again. A loud banging, like someone was in the apartment. I jumped up from the couch, noticing the bright sun shining through the window. I hadn't planned on sleeping on the couch all night, not realizing how tired I really must have been.

When I stood up, I noticed the mirror once again. I walked forward, seeing the figure reappear. Looking behind me, I didn't see anyone, but when I returned to the reflection I saw the bright green eyes of man in front of me. 


	2. Past Lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this is so late, but with college exams coming up these last few weeks have been stressful. We hope to have updates more regularly, so bare with us. We hope you enjoy! Things will start making more sense as the story goes on:)
> 
> *Sorry for any typos*

Harry's POV:

Is this what insanity felt like? Because there was no way I could be looking at a reflection other than my own. I had seen the shadow reappear this morning, but I blamed it on another sleepless night. I spent hours thinking about every possible thing my mind could imagine; from the latest assignment Mr. Jamieson had left me, to fears about paying this months rent, and even as far as feeling guilty for not calling my mom this week.

This time looking in the mirror was different though. I turned and looked behind me to see if someone had broken in, but no one was there; it was just me and this reflection.  As I peered closer, the shadow wasn't just a dark blur, but a man. He had a pair of the brightest and kindest blue eyes I had ever seen. His shaggy brown hair fell in a soft fringe across his forehead, a little longer than most people would wear, but then again so was my hair. He looked familiar, though I had no idea where I could have seen him before.  There was no forgetting a pair of eyes like that, but for the life of me I could not place a name to the face, or a reason as to why I was seeing him in my mirror.

I walked up so I could see him more clearly, leaving only inches between our two faces. The man looked just as confused as I did. He raised his hand and gave me a small wave, then tapped on the glass. Nothing happened; he was still there looking back at me. This had to be a dream; a very vivid one at that. There was no way that I was seeing a face on the other side of glass.

"Hello?" The man called out, a little louder than necessary. I was taken aback when I heard him, not expecting to be able to hear his voice. It was higher pitched but filled with a soothing rasp that contrasted the tone.  

"Hello?" I called back hesitantly. The surprise on his face was evident, his blue eyes looking at me curiously.

"This has to be some kind of joke, right?!" I asked, not sure why I was still here talking to a mirror. Maybe it was two way glass, and this was the person living next door, though I don't remember seeing anyone living there. I reached up and lifted the mirror off the wall to see nothing but the red brick. No one was there. When I placed the mirror back on the wall, those blue eyes were still staring at me.

"What is going on?" He asked, running his fingers through his already tousled hair, obviously just as freaked out as I was. He looked at me as if searching for an answer. I had none.  I had only ever seen situations like this in movies or read about them in romance novels.  Things like this didn't happen in real life. 

"This isn't real. I'm just sleeping still, and my alarm is going to go off any minute for work." I said, trying to convince myself more than the man in the mirror. I knew perfectly well that this wasn't a dream, but there was no other rational explanation as to why I was seeing, and talking, to another person's reflection. Maybe I was sick and hallucinating. Something,  _anything_  had to be a better reasoning for what was happening right now. Each rationale I thought of left me more and more confused, and honestly slightly afraid.  

I paced nervously back and forth, running my hands through my long hair.  Wake up, Harry, wake up. I said to myself, honestly considering slapping myself across the face. I picked at my bottom lip, trying to accept what was going on.  There was no use in denying the fact that there was a very real and obvious man standing in my mirror, it was the simple questions of why and how that left my mind reeling.  I stopped pacing long enough to notice the time shown on the clock on the wall.

Shit, I was going to be late for work. I quickly looked back up at the reflection.  

"I-I have to go." I said, realizing how idiotic I felt and sounded. I didn't owe him an explanation, though my leaving in such a hurry certainly didn't give the best impression, making me seem even more insane than the situation already implied. 

"Wait, we have to figure this out!" He called out, looking a even more panicked, a hint of anger detected in his voice. 

"I have to go to work. I'm sorry." I said while rushing to get my keys off the counter. I threw my bag over my shoulder and headed out the door, ignoring the man calling out for me to come back. I sat in my car for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts.  The cars passing in the streets, the chilly pre October breeze tickling the hair across my cheek, the sounds of tourists talking excitedly as they walked along the shops all reassured me that none of this could be my imagination.  This was happening, and there wasn't anything I could do right now to figure out why.  I sighed in defeat and started up the engine, taking one last look back at the apartment before pulling out of the lot.  

When I got to the office I quickly threw myself into my work, trying to distract myself from the thoughts of the man in the mirror. The topic Mr. Jamieson gave me was something I easily finished within a few hours, much to my dismay, leaving me staring at my computer screen.

"Putting time to good use, I see, Mr. Styles" a deep voice called from over my shoulder, making me knock over cup of coffee.  I frantically reached for napkins in my bag to try and keep the now cold liquid from spilling onto the floor. When I looked up I noticed Mr. Jamieson chuckling, looking at me sympathetically. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." 

"No, I apologize, sir, I shouldn't have been just sitting here.  I'll get right back to work." I rushed out hurriedly,  mentally reprimanding myself for making such a scene in front of my boss. 

"I actually came over here to say how impressed I am with your work so far.  You really do have a talent, Styles. Your previous employer was right about recommending you to this branch.  Keep up the work you've been doing, and I can see you going very far here with your writing." He threw a wink, looked at the sloppy mess of napkins in my hand, and chuckled before walking back towards his office.  

I groaned, my heart still slightly off beat from the exchange.  I never expected him to be here praising my work, and half expected him to come over here to fire me. Though I appreciated what he had to say, and was eager to have more of my works published, I knew that I didn't want to work at a newspaper company for the majority of my career.  This was a starting point for my writing; one that I had hoped would open a new array of opportunities for my works.  Journalism and editorials was never my style of writing, though I couldn't complain about having a job here so soon after college.  

"I see Jamieson got you, too." A soft voice said from behind me.  I looked up to be greeted with a friendly smile and warm brown eyes. He extended his free hand, a coffee in the other.  I realized I still held the napkins in my own, and quickly tossed them in the trash, wiping my slightly sticky hands on my jeans.  

"I'm Liam, I work right behind you." He said, handing me the cup of coffee in his hand.  I took it graciously, needing the caffeine to snap me out of this funk.

"Harry, it's nice to finally meet you. You're so quiet, I kind of forgot someone was back there." He laughed

"I figured you could use another" Liam chuckled, eyeing my knocked over cup.  I smiled and thanked him, taking a sip of the hot creamy liquid.

"How long have you been working here?" I asked, noticing that he seemed to be around my age.  He dressed more casual than I did, wearing dark jeans and flannel, which led me to believe he had been working here for a while to be so comfortable. 

"About six months, more or less. I'm a senior at UMass, and they offered me this internship over the summer. I guess it kind of just carried over to the school year as well. I can't complain though, it really is an incredible opportunity." 

"I'm impressed. I just graduated UMass this year.  I worked at another branch my Junior and Senior year, and was recommended for a permanent transfer here." I explained, while Liam leaned up against the off white wall beside my desk.  He nodded, taking in what I was saying, glancing around my office space. 

"It's so empty over here.  You should bring in some of your own things, make it more homey. My desk is covered with shit, most of which I don't really need honestly." He laughed lightly. 

"I would, I just didn't want to jinx myself by making myself at home so soon to just end up getting fired." 

"Well judging by what Jamieson had to say to you, I think its safe to get comfortable here. He doesn't offer compliments easily, so I'd take pride in what he said to you." 

I smiled smally and looked at the ground, running my hand through my hair. 

"Trust me though, he's not really as intimidating as he seems.  I think he just likes getting a rile out of the new employees; prove his power or some shit.  He's actually a pretty good guy." Liam clarified, though I never doubted Mr. Jamieson's sincerity.  

"Good to know." I said, leaving the conversation at an awkward standstill.  Liam seemed to sense it and cleared his throat, standing upright from the wall. 

"Well I guess I better get back to work. Have to make sure I 'put my time to good use'" He said offering me a wink. I laughed and nodded, raising my mug.

"Thanks again for the coffee, I appreciate it." 

"Not a problem.  We should hang out some time, gets a bit boring here, not much to talk about." He suggested. Since college ended, I didn't have many people here to spend time with.  Most of my friends had moved on to new places and career opportunities, while I started right where I left off.  It didn't bother me much, though.  I never minded being alone; often preferring to have time to myself rather than being a part of a large group of people.

"I'd like that." 

"Great! I'll see you around, then." Liam gave me a small wave before disappearing behind the divider to our small writing areas.  I turned back to my desk, tapping my fingers anxiously across the keys to the computer.  The image of the man with the blue eyes soon reappeared in my mind, the interaction between my boss and Liam only distracting me for a short while. 

I could work on a side project, or even the short story I had been spending the last few nights writing. But instead I found my hands flying across the keyboard, googling everything from "seeing faces in a mirror" to "signs of insanity." The best answers I got were people describing their experiences with the paranormal and how they'd seen their loved ones reflection. Frustrated I turned the screen off and hit my fist against the desk. A few people noticed my reaction, and I apologized, trying to calm down. I didn't know why this was affecting me so much.  The man could be gone from the mirror by now.  Maybe he would never return and it was just some lapse in my brain that caused me to hallucinate this mornings events. Doubtful, I thought, seeing as I have felt completely fine all day without any other bizarre episodes. All that I was left with was confusion, frustration, and defeat.  

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I checked the clock and saw that I could officially check out of work. My day ended a little faster than I hoped, but at the same time it seemed to drag on. Even thought I wasn't ready to go home and face the possibility of seeing the man again, I was also eager to see if he was still there. What was I going to do if he was still there? What would I say?

"Hi, it's nice to meet you. How long do you plan on staying here?"

Nothing seemed logical anymore. I was beginning to question everything in my life, wondering what was real and what was in my head. I then had to come to terms with the reality that maybe I was going insane. Was I prepared to deal with that scenario and the repercussions of it? I wasn't sure which I dreaded more; actually being insane or seeing the reflection of a stranger in my home.

Part of me was fascinated by the idea of this man. What was his story? Did he feel just as confused as I was? There were so many questions that plagued my tormented mind that I didn't know where to begin to answer them.  As I drove down the busy streets, the sun casting shadows along the sidewalks, I thought about how different every person's life was. No one knew me or what my story was, and I did't know anything about them.  To the person crossing the street in front of my stopped car I was just a stranger.  Little did he know that I could very well be a man who was losing his mind. 

Before I knew it I was sitting in the parking lot outside my apartment, struggling to answer the questions of: Did I go up? Or did I stay down here and wait it out? What was I waiting for though? If he was there now, he would still be there tomorrow. I had to face him. Whatever was going to happen I would figure it out. With a deep breath I got out of my car and headed up the wet staircase. This was it, the moment of truth.

I turned the handle and opened the door, flipping the light switch on. After placing my bag on the counter, I cautiously walked over to the mirror, only seeing my own reflection. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw my own tired green eyes and messy hair looking back at me. It was all just in my head, he wasn't real and I had only imagined it. I laughed at myself; at the idiocy of my actions, and the amount of worry and paranoia I put into the idea of this mornings events. It felt as if a large weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I lazily strolled into my bedroom.  I threw my jacket onto the bed and took out a pair of sweats. Right now the only thing I needed was a hot shower to ease my tense muscles, and wash away the memories of the blue eyed man. 

I stood there for a while, not doing anything but letting the water run down my body.  I watched as it dripped down my nose and pooled at the drain by my feet. It was times like this when I wished I had someone to come home too.  Yes, I didn't mind being alone, but after a while bottling everything inside got to be a hard task, especially after having a day like today when all you want to do is talk to someone who genuinely cared. I would embarrassingly admit that I was a romantic at heart, which worked against me during times like this when I would realize how alone I actually was.  I had my mom and Gemma, but that type of relationship wasn't the same; it wasn't the connection I yearned for.  

In college I dated my now ex-girlfriend, Emma, for nearly a year.  We met when I was a second semester junior.  She was a sophomore and was in one of the English seminars that was required of students of this major.  Everyone dreaded it, as it was one of the most challenging of the course options.  When I saw her, though, the class didn't seem as uninteresting.  She was sweet and funny, and made things a lot more bearable.  Emma was different from the other girls who had tried talking to me.  She wasn't just interested in hooking up or having a "no strings attached" type of relationship.  Emma wanted to know the real me; who I was and where I've been, the things I wanted to do and the life I wanted to create.  Those same things I wanted to know about her; she became my best friend so easily.  When we dated it was simple.  We rarely ever fought, we would go out on dates or spend time in each others dorm rooms studying for our exams. But after a while I realized that the fact that it was so simple, didn't mean that it was a good relationship.  I thought I loved her because I think I believed that I had to.  "We were in a relationship, and we were happy so I must love her." Emma was amazing person, but neither of us was ever completely invested in our relationship; something always seemed a little off. I think towards the end she started to recognize the same thing. We were just with one another because we were comfortable. Of course we cared for one another, but it wasn't love.  So we ended it.  We both agreed that we should go out and find someone who made love exciting, filled with adventure and passion.  

That was seven months ago. We'll still talk from time to time, but it's nothing like the friendship we had before.  She was happier though, which was all that mattered.  I continued on with my plans for my future all the same, though from time to time, like tonight when the loneliness would creep in, I wished things had been a different and that I had found someone.  That may make me sound selfish, as though someone was necessary only when I needed them to aid my personal issues, but that wasn't the case.  It was so much more than that.  

Once the water started to run cold I shut it off, grabbing a towel from the back of the door and wrapping it around my waist.  I wiped way the fog on the mirror, part of me worried I may see the blue eyed man again. I smiled slightly when it was just my tired face looking back at me, my too long hair beginning to curl as water dripped down my shoulders.  

I dried off quickly, noticing the temperature decrease in the apartment. After putting on my sweats and towel drying my hair I padded barefoot into the kitchen. Grabbing a beer and my journal I took a seat at the counter, opening up to where I left off. 

**This empty heart's two beats from caving in  
Aching for someone to fill the void   
Between all I want and can only dream to give   
  
These lonely nights leave me reaching for the space  
Where I imagine your body next to mine  
The distance like miles for this broken soul   
  
I walk through life a hopeless dreamer  
This caged man waiting to be set free  
By the person who is brave enough to hold the key   
  
My love's suppressed by the deafening silence   
Of this great abyss within my open heart  
Searching for your light to guide me home **

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Louis' POV:

"Wait! You can't seriously leave in the middle of this!" I yelled to no one. He had already left, leaving me here in a state of shock and confusion. What the fuck just happened?

When I looked in the mirror this morning the last thing I expected to see was the face of another man. I had to be dreaming or incredibly drunk, but knowing that neither was the case, I was left with the very probable possibility that I was losing my damn mind.

How could I be seeing another person's face in a mirror? I had thought of every reason as to how this could be happening, but nothing made sense. My mind was filled with chaos as I entered the lecture hall to my Psychology class and took a seat at the back of the room. I had no desire to participate today, the green eyes of the man in the mirror haunting me. 

Who was he? I had never seen him before, though I couldn't deny my attraction to him.  There was something about the way he ran his fingers through his long wavy hair, and the way he'd aimlessly play with his lips that left me wondering what he was thinking about.  He had a pair of the widest green eyes that held so much depth and passion, the image of them never leaving my mind. I felt so strange sitting here fascinated by this man when I knew nothing about him or why I was seeing him in my reflection.  Nothing made sense, though part of me hoped he would be there when I returned from campus.  I wanted to figure this out, and know more about him.

"Mr. Tomlinson, you look like you have a deep thought to share with the class." My professor called out to me, making me snap out of my thoughts. I felt the heat creep up my neck, hype aware of the eyes on me. He looked at me expectedly, waiting for my answer to a question I hadn't heard him ask. 

"Uh-can you repeat the question, please?" I asked, making him smile smugly as if he had caught a criminal in action.  

"We were discussing love and how we as people need human connection and affection to survive. There's so many types of love out there: family, friends, intimate relationships... My question to you was what do you think about love?" He restated, walking casually to my desk.  My eyes widened, not knowing how to answer him. 

"I-I think that we are in love with the idea of love." Saying the first thing that came to mind. He looked at me questioningly, a few students chuckling at my response. 

"Explain." He pressed.  I sat up straighter in my seat, clearing my throat.

"Well I think we have these preconceived ideas about what love should be and look like.  It's supposed to be happy and filled with passion and sex and adventure.  We strive for this idea of love.  But when something actually evolves into a romantic relationship, we often realize that love isn't all its cracked up to be.  It's more than what these romance novels and Lifetime movies make it seem. I think love just ends up disappointing us." I finished, realizing I said more than I intended.  A few students looked at me confused and wide eyed. My professor smirked.

"Quite the pessimist we have here, Mr. Tomlinson." The class laughed, making me roll my eyes. I offered him a sarcastic smile and sat back in my seat, happy to have my embarrassment over with. 

Holding focus throughout the rest of the day was nearly impossible. It took everything in me not to walk out and go home to see if the green eyed man was still there. I needed a distraction, an escape from this craziness, and the only thing I knew that would give me that was photography. As I finished my last class, I headed for the park once again, grabbing my camera from my bag. Maybe it was silly of me to find comfort in doing something so insignificant as taking a picture, but it honestly gave me the chance to see the world a little differently. When that photograph is captured, that place and time is saved forever; a permanent memory that we can look back on as easily as we can watch a movie.

I took my time taking pictures of children playing ball in the field, of couples walking hand in hand, the sunlight casting the perfect shadows of the surrounding buildings on the street. My breath caught though, when I saw a tall man with brown hair a few yards in front of me. Could that be him? Was he actually real?

I walked forward, wanting to get a better look as he ran his fingers through his hair. I stopped when he turned around, noticing a much older and not as good looking man staring at me confused. I gave him a small awkward smile before turning back and heading towards the apartment. I wanted to avoid going back there, afraid to see what awaited me. But I was also hoping for the chance to see the handsome face in the mirror once again. I wanted to know more about him. The idea seemed more and more crazy as I thought about it, but nothing about this situation was normal.

The sun was setting behind the buildings, causing the sky to turn beautiful shades of orange and pink. I loved this time of night, always finding comfort in the city lights and warmth of the sky. I reached the apartment as soon as the last of the colors were overtaken by the stars. With a deep breath I opened the door, setting my camera on the couch. I walked over to the mirror, sighing as I saw the man sitting at the kitchen counter, a perfect reflection of my own apartment. I had to admit he was very good looking. I watched the way his too long hair was pushed messily away from his face, his brows furrowed over his green eyes as he appeared to be deep in thought. I almost didn't want to interrupt him. He wrote furiously in his journal, a deep crease between his eyes, his lips pouting slightly. 

What was I doing? I shouldn't be sitting here watching a stranger who, may or may not be real, I might add. I dismissed my previous thoughts and cleared my throat.

"Hello again" I called out. The man jumped up from his seat, dropping his notepad and pen on the floor. He looked at me with such surprise and fear, that I assumed that he must have thought I was gone for good. For both of our sanity's sake I wish I was. He bent over to pick up his fallen items, setting them back down on the counter before hesitantly walking towards me. 

"How are you here?" He said, noticing this time that he had an English accent. His voice was deep and smooth like honey, despite its obvious anxiety and discomfort that the situation brought on. 

"I could ask you the same thing." I replied as he ran his fingers through his hair, I was beginning to think that was a nervous habit of his.

"This can't be happening. Not again. I can't be crazy." He said, more to himself than to me. I watched as he began pacing again, his hand moving up to play with his bottom lip. I wished I could offer him a solution, a way to ease both of our confusion. I didn't know what to think, though. Here I was talking to a stranger in a mirror. If I was crazy then my mind was awfully good at making this seem like reality.

"Okay, we need to figure this out." I said after several minutes of silence and pacing. The man looked up at me, his face tired and frustrated.

"What is there to figure out? I've lost my goddamn mind." He said, walking up to the mirror. We were face to face now, allowing me to see him better. He was more good looking than I thought.  His green eyes were set in a slightly boyish face, dimples playing in his cheeks when he said certain words. I shook my head, bringing myself back to the conversation. 

"Clearly not if I am a part of this too." I defended, refusing to believe that this was all in my head. Maybe this was real. Maybe there was someway that the two of us were actually communicating with one another.

"What do we do?"

"I really don't think there's much we can do. Obviously we are both very real." I said, trying to convince myself as much as the man in front of me. I hated referring to him like that. I peered over to him, cautious with my out of place question. 

"What's your name?" I asked. He looked up at me like I had three heads, disbelief evident in his eyes. 

"My name?"

"Yes, your name. If we're both going crazy, we might as well get to know one another better." I teased trying to lighten the mood, though realizing it probably wasn't the most appropriate time for that. 

"It's Harry. Harry Styles." He responded slowly, eyeing me up and down.  I felt slightly self conscious as he took in my appearance and surroundings.  

"It's nice to meet you Harry. I'm Louis Tomlinson." 

"I'd say it's nice to meet you too, but I still don't know what to make of this." Harry answered honestly, giving me a small chuckle. Suddenly he looked up a me, a newfound brightness to his eyes.

"Louis Tomlinson" He whispered to himself, his eyebrows furrowing once again. 

"I've heard that name before. I just don't know where." My focus was directed from his green eyes to his full lips, which he bit in concentration. 

"I can't say the same for you, I'm sorry." I said awkwardly, not knowing where to redirect the conversation. I went with the first question that came to mind, once again realizing its lack of importance at the time being. 

"So tell me about yourself, Harry. We might as well make the most of this." I offered.

"This is fucking ridiculous. How are you taking this so lightly?" Harry asked, his voice raising a bit.

"I'm not taking it lightly, I just don't see the use in us sitting here trying to figure out what the hell is going on when there is clearly no reasonable explanation for it. " He sighed, realizing the truth to my words. I hated that I was right, I wish this as all just a dream that I could pinch myself and wake up from.

"I'm a writer. I just started working for the local newspaper." Harry finally answered, taking a chair from the kitchen and dragging it to the front of the mirror. I could tell by the exhaustion on his face that it wasn't because he planned on having a long conversation with me. 

"I kind of figured you were a writer, you seemed pretty deep in thought over there." I said, hoping he didn't pick up on me watching him.

"It helps clear my mind." He replied before rubbing his tired eyes harshly. I checked the clock above the stove, noticing it was only nine.  

"What about you? What do you do, Louis?" He asked, breaking me from my thoughts. 

"I'm a student at UMass, but I do freelance photography on the side." I answered. He looked at me and smiled.

"UMass Boston?"

"That's the one."

"I just graduated there. Class of 2015. Maybe that's where I've heard your name. We must have run into one another at some point, I mean it's a big school but it's a possibility" Harry rambled while I focused my attention on one thing he said: _Class of 2015?_  I shook my head at him a little confused.

"You mean 2014." I corrected him, assuming he had just made a simple mistake due to his obvious lack of sleep. 

"No, I meant 2015." He clarified proudly. I thought for a moment, before saying, 

"That's not possible. It's 2014 now Harry." Maybe he really was losing his mind.

"What are you talking about? I can't take anymore jokes today, Louis, so you can cut the act." Harry's voice rose and deepened, surprising me by his tone. 

"I'm not acting Harry." I defended, rushing over to the table besides the door to grab today's newspaper. I found the date and held it up to the mirror.

"See, September 27, 2014." Harry stared at it for a minute before getting up and heading for the bedroom. I heard shuffling around before he returned with a small black book in his hands. He opened it and revealed his UMass diploma.

"The date I graduated. Class of _2015_."

This couldn't be happening. Not only was I talking to a man in my mirror, but it was a man from the future? My head began to spill at the whirlwind of events that had taken place today. I didn't know how much more I could handle.

"You're telling me that you're from the past?" Harry asked, laughing to himself.

"I don't see what's so fucking funny." I said, getting a little frustrated by his response.

"Nothing is funny, I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I actually am crazy."

I sat there in silence, unsure of what to do or say. The only thing I did know was that my reality was about to come crashing down.


	3. Photograph

Louis' POV:

Harry Edward Styles was born in Holmes Chapel, England.  He came to the US his freshman year to study English and creative writing, leaving behind his mother and sister.  UMass wasn't his first option, but  he told me he immediately fell in love with Boston once he got to America to tour the school.  When I asked his favorite color, he sat deep in thought before telling me that that was a "very difficult question to answer," and that it usually depended on his mood; today it was red.  He hated when people were late, preferred iced coffee to hot, and reluctantly admitted that his guilty pleasure was binge watching Grey's Anatomy.

It went on like this for hours; we had spent all night sitting in front of the mirror, trying to get to know one another better. Maybe it was ridiculous considering what was happening, but there was no use in us standing there like idiots trying to find the answer to the impossible question.  We were here and we had to make the most of this situation, no matter how far fetched it was. 

We had asked everything from favorite movies, to deepest fears and regrets, to best childhood memories.  Harry was easy to talk to, and I found myself captivated by the smooth rhythm of his voice and accent, and the way he spoke to you as if you were the only person who mattered in the world.  He seemed so much wiser than his twenty two years. 

The way he spoke and felt about writing was exactly how I felt about photography.  It was his escape; a chance to fully open up and be himself.  He talked about some of the things he worked on, and even read me a few of his poems after I practically forced him too. He had a gift, and I couldn't help but wonder what went on in his mind and heart to make him write such captivating and beautiful pieces. 

In the few hours that we had spoken, I felt as if I had known him my entire life, as crazy as that sounded.  He was so open and honest and trusting, allowing me a glimpse inside his beautiful mind, and I appreciated every piece of it. 

"What's your opinion on the moon?" I asked, making him laugh and look at me with amusement in his green eyes, a possession of his I had become very fond of. 

"What kind of question is that?" 

"I don't know. Do you think it's some big ball of cheese or a pile of dust?" I pressed, playing along with the light and effortlessness of the conversation.  Harry looked me in the eyes for a moment, seemingly deep in thought, before answering the question. 

"I've always liked the moon, honestly. Space fascinates me; it's humbling, if that makes sense. Like we are such an insignificant part to this great universe. We are just a small fraction of what goes on all over the world, and even up there in the unknown. I guess I see the moon and the stars as a reminder of that, it's grounding and terrifying and beautiful all at the same time." He finished, leaving me speechless. 

"Did I say something wrong? Did you really think it was just a ball of cheese, and I ruined it for you." Harry teased, his dimples showing in his smile. I chuckled and shook my head.

"No, I've just never heard someone think of space and the moon like that.  I wasn't expecting it, but I can see where you're coming from.  When you think about it we are just an insignificant piece in this universe.  Even when things become too much and we think the world is going to end if something doesn't go our way, it really doesn't matter if you look at it from your perspective..It's kind of nice." I reassured.  He blushed slightly and looked out the window. 

I followed his gaze and noticed the sun rising over the treetops.  I hadn't realized we had been talking for so long and that I had an entire day of classes ahead of me. I groaned at the thought, wanting nothing more than to climb into my bed and sleep the day away. I didn't regret staying up with Harry.  We learned so much about one another, but still weren't able to figure out why we could see one another, or the bigger question of how we were talking to each other from different times.  It scared me, to be honest.  This shouldn't be happening. It wasn't a natural, and far from a common thing to occur.  What was so special about us? 

"I have to get ready for work, though I don't know how productive I'll be.  I haven't really gotten much sleep these last few nights." Harry said, leaning back in his chair to stretch, his white shirt lifting to reveal two ferns etched in black just above his pants line. I hadn't noticed he had tattoos, and it didn't come up in conversation, surprisingly. 

"Do you have more tattoos?" I asked, hoping he didn't feel uncomfortable with my question. 

"You really want to see?" He asked chuckling to himself. I nodded before he stood up from the chair to lift his shirt up and over his head. My eyes widened at the amount of pieces decorating his skin.  Each one was so random yet somehow seemed to make sense and look good on him. 

"What do they all mean?" I asked, my eyes scanning over each one, carefully taking them all in; two sparrows were etched across his chest, his left arm a canvas covered in a wide variety of sketches. The ones that stood out most were the large boat on bicep, the Bible on his forearm, an anchor on his wrist, and large butterfly centered in the middle of his torso.  I had no idea what they all had to do with one another but they were beautiful all the same.  It looked like he was an artist in more than one way. 

"Each just represents an important point in my life.  People tell me all the time that I'm going to regret it when I'm old, but if they had meaning to me when I got them, then they'll have meaning to me forever." He explained, pulling his shirt back over his naked chest. 

"Do you have any?"

"I have a few, mostly stupid little designs that I had done when I was younger.  They have no meaning really, but I've kind of gotten used to them. I'll show you another time though. You've got to ready for work, and I reluctantly need to go to class." I explained, looking at the clock. 

"I still wonder if we ever ran into one another while on campus.  There has to be a reason your name is so familiar." Harry mused, tugging at his bottom lip.  

"I guess I'll just have to go in search for you today, though I'm sure it won't be hard finding that mop of hair in the crowds." I teased, making him mock offense. 

"I'm very proud of my hair, thank you.  I quite like it like this, though I will admit it is a little long. Have to have a cut soon, I suppose." He said, twisting a lock of curl that fell just past his shoulder. 

"No, it's too nice to cut.  Let it go for a while, I think it suits you." I complimented, not realizing my voice came out in a soft, gentle whisper, my eyes scanning over the the beautiful man in front of me.  Harry noticed my oogling and cleared his throat.

"You think so?"

I diverted my gaze away from his stare and looked past him to the stove clock, watching as it changed. 

"Uh- yeah, I mean its that typical romance novel hair.  The mysterious writer who hides himself away in a cabin alone with his deep, brooding thoughts, waiting patiently for love to come knocking at the door." 

"I think I've actually read a book like that before." Harry laughed lightly, easing the tension I was beginning to feel between us. I smiled and rose from my seat. 

"Well" I started, 

"I'll see you around, I guess?" I continued, more like a question than a statement.  I still had no idea how this whole thing was going to work out. Would we talk more or go on with our lives as if nothing had happened? A large part of me hoped it wasn't the latter, as embarrassed as I was to admit.  I enjoyed Harry's company and wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet.  There was still so many questions that needed to be answered, and I knew I couldn't solve them on my own. 

"Yeah, I'll see you later.  Maybe we can talk again tonight." He offered, running his hands through his hair, seeming unsure of his suggestion.

"I'd like that. I have a showcase for my photographs, but I shouldn't be back too late." I replied, a little embarrassed by the eager tone to my voice.  

"That's incredible. Do a lot of people come?" He asked, honest curiosity in his eyes. 

"The entire art department, along with anyone they invite; it's good networking.  A few of my pieces have been recognized and sold there. It's a pretty amazing experience.  I never thought my photos would hold any interest to people." I confessed, running my hand against the back of my neck.  Sitting in the chair for hours left my back and shoulders in uncomfortable knots.  I desperately needed a massage and a hot shower. 

"Well, if I had known you last year, I would have made sure to come.  You should be proud, you obviously are very talented." 

I flushed at his comment, not knowing why it caused such reaction. When I looked up at him his green eyes were staring back softly, his full lips curled up in a small smile. 

"Thanks, I appreciate it." I responded sincerely before continuing.

"I'll talk to you tonight, then." 

"Tonight." Harry assured, giving me a wink while waving.  I returned the gesture and watched as he walked towards the bedroom and disappeared from within the mirrors range. 

I leaned back in my chair not knowing what to make of the last few hours.  I had finally come to the conclusion that what was happening was very real, but why it was happening was still something that plagued my mind. 

I took my time getting ready, sluggish from my lack of sleep.  The hot water from my shower eased my sore muscles from sitting in a chair all night.  I had no desire to keep up with appearances today, deciding on a dark pair of skinny jeans and my favorite UMass sweater.  I grabbed a cup of coffee before heading out the door. I thought about Harry and how he could possibly find my name so familiar.  There was no way I could ever forget a pair of eyes and a dimpled smile like that, so I knew we had never met before.  But that didn't mean that fact couldn't change.  I remembered what I said to Harry this morning, and how I'd have to search for him on campus.  The idea seemed more and more appealing, although at first it was a simple joke to ease conversation.  There was no reason not to try and seek him out.  Maybe we would somehow find a solution to the impossible question. I was beginning to run out of potential theories, and my restless mind needed a break. 

I had to find Harry, to see if he was actually real.  Though where I would begin my search was the main issue. The campus had several large buildings, each filled with hundreds of students. He could be anywhere, if he even was on campus today. I checked my phone and saw that I was still early for class, so I figured I'd start at the most popular part of the campus; the library.  I rarely ever went in here, hating the idea of being surrounded by people while trying to get work done.

I opened the large glass doors, scanning the small groups of people throughout the different sections of computers and tables.  After making awkward eye contact with a few students, I realized that Harry wasn't down here, and headed up the stairs to the upper level. 

To my surprise I saw his familiar face, sitting alone at a small table in the corner of the room. He had his head down, shoulders slightly hunched while he wrote furiously in his notebook.  My heart skipped a beat seeing him in person.  I knew he was real, but it really didn't feel that way when the only way we had every communicated was through a mirror. His hair wasn't as long as it was when I saw him this morning, instead falling in gentle waves and curls just past mid neck. He wore a pair of dark jeans that were torn on the knee, his tan boots worn out, and a light green sweater that matched the color of his eyes.  He was even more handsome in person, which left me intimidated and regretting my previous goals of talking to him. 

I stood there, frozen, unsure of what to do. If I went up and talked to him, I'd have to think of some excuse for doing so.  But if I didn't, I could miss the opportunity to know him better, and possibly figure out why all of this was happening.  I took a deep breath and walked forward, deciding on the first option instead. 

He looked up at me as I approached him, my eyes meeting a sea of comforting green, a confused expression on his face. 

"Hi..I'm Louis Tomlinson." I started, my voice shaking slightly as I extended my hand.  

"Hi..um-I'm sorry, do I know you?" Harry asked, returning the gesture before putting down his pencil and closing his notebook. I noticed a few scribbled out lines on the page of what appeared to be a poem in progress.  The notebook itself was brown and was decorated in random sketches and sayings like the ones I'd draw when bored in class. 

"No, you don't. I just-" I didn't know what to say. He looked up at me expectedly, but still held the same kindness and patience that I recognized while talking to him into the night hours. 

"I just- I'm going around trying to get people to come to the art showcase tonight. The more the merrier.. Would you be interested?" I asked, pulling all of that from my ass.  I mentally cringed at my choice of words, realizing how insane I sounded. 

"Um I don't usually go to those types of things." Harry said, running his hands through his hair, a piece falling into his eyes.  I tried not to smile at the act that I had become accustomed to seeing. 

"Well maybe you should start. I have some pieces being shown, so you'd have one familiar face there." I continued, wanting the chance to be able to speak with him again.  He bit at his lip, seeming to debate my offer. After talking to him last night, I knew he wasn't the type of person to want to purposely hurt someone's feelings. Though he wasn't a push over, he was too kind, and would most likely agree to attend to spare my feelings; a trait that would work in my favor.   

"Sure, why not. I'll bring my girlfriend with me." Harry said, giving in like I had hoped. 

..Girlfriend. 

I wasn't sure why that word surprised me.  Of course he had a girlfriend.  He was incredibly attractive, smart, and seemed like a good person. Anyone would be crazy to say no to him, so I wasn't sure why I had expected anything less. I was surprised that that didn't come up in conversation last night either, though it was a more personal topic to discuss.  

My sexuality wasn't something I was ashamed of or hid when someone asked if I had a girlfriend.  So I had to admit that I was attracted to Harry, though knowing he obviously wouldn't feel the same way knocked my confidence down a little. 

Stop, Louis. You barely know the guy, I reminded myself, embarrassed by my own thoughts and reasoning. 

"That'd be great.  It starts at 7 in the main hall.  I'll look for you there." I said giving him a smile. He returned it, causing his dimples to show.  His smile was one of his best features, aside from his green eyes. 

I nodded once more awkwardly before turning and walking away.

"Wait!" A voice called out from behind me. I turned around to see Harry walking towards me, allowing me to see how much taller than me he actually was.  His heeled boots gave him another inch, but he had to be around six feet, making my five seven seem significantly smaller than usual. 

"I never got to introduce myself." He said extending his hand, which adorned two silver rings.  

"I'm Harry Styles." I took his hand in mine and shook it, before dropping it back to my side.

"It's nice to meet you Harry. I hope to see you tonight." I smiled, then turned back and headed for the stairs, realizing now that I was going to be late for class.

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When I arrived at the showcase I was greeted by a large crowd of people, my professors coming over to commend me on my photos that were being presented. I thanked then, a little nervous by the turn out of tonight's gallery.  There usually weren't this many people here, but I suppose it was a good thing to have more eyes and potential buyers taking in the various works.

I waited anxiously by my showcase, talking to the guests who were interested in what I had to offer. I responded politely, though there was only one person I was interested in talking to tonight, and so far he was no where to be found.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized he really didn't have any reason to show up.  He didn't know me..well future Harry did, but to the one that I spoke to on campus today I was just another stranger.  After class got out today, I made a stop at home to change into more appropriate clothing, and to my dismay, Harry wasn't there.  I wasn't sure why I was disappointed by that, but it made me feel more confused than before.  He was no one to me, I mean besides a man from the past who I could talk to.  There was just something about him that was hard to forget; whether it be those eyes that hold so much depth it was like getting lost in a forest, or the way he looked at the world and thought about things in such a unique way.  He both fascinated and intimidated me.  

I checked my watch and saw that it was just a little past eight, making me come to the conclusion that he wasn't going to come.  I sighed and turned back to face the selected photos before me.  Each one was different, though I decided to stick with a black and white theme.  There were scenes of Boston mixed in with photos of couples and nature.  I had to admit I was pretty proud of my work, and judging by the people around me, they were enjoying them too. The rest of the pieces here ranged anywhere from abstract paintings to real life models. It was incredible to look around and see the creativity that was produced by each individual presenting here tonight. 

I was lost in thought trying to decipher the abnormally colorful and loud portrait beside my showcase when I felt a small tap on my shoulder, turning around to see a tall figure behind me.  Harry smiled at me, a short brunette stood by his side. She reached just to his shoulders, her brown hair flowing past her own and down her back.  She had a beautiful smile that made her honey colored eyes shine. 

"Hey, you showed up" I said, sounding a little too surprised.

"Yeah, I'm sorry we're late. There was traffic getting here, some festival going on in the park." Harry apologized, running his hand through his hair while his other was placed in the small girl's.

"No worries, I'm glad you made it. It was actually a pretty good turn out tonight, so I feel bad for making you come." I smiled, though I had no regrets.  It was surreal having him here, making the situation back in my apartment all the more real. He wore a pair of black skinny jeans, and scuffed black boots, while his black and white printed shirt was unbuttoned to mid chest. It wasn't a look that I was expecting from him, but I couldn't deny how incredible he looked.  He had that effortless kind of good looks that most people strived for but failed to achieve. 

"Don't apologize, I'm glad we came, I honestly never knew we had art shows on campus." Harry said smirking, looking me in the eyes. For a very brief moment I forgot there were people surrounding us, and judging by the short girl clearing her throat, part of me believed Harry did too. 

"Oh I'm sorry, this is my girlfriend Emma. Em, this is Louis." He said introducing us.  She offered me her hand, and I took it, trying to hide back my slightly bitter thoughts. 

"It's nice to meet you.  You have beautiful work. Are these all yours?" She asked, making me notice her slight Boston accent.  She took a step closer to get a better view of the photos, dragging Harry behind her. The act caused him to stumble over his feet, knocking into the person in front of him. He flushed and apologized before looking at me embarrassed.  I turned away to hide my amusement. 

"Thank you, yeah these are all mine." I said, looking at them with her. The first one was positioned on the left, a black and white image of the city lights against the dark night sky. The second was on the right, and was the simple image of the clock tower near the park. I had no reasoning behind taking that picture other than the fact that it was beautiful with its pale gray stone that contrasted against the black ornament of the clock. The final photo, which happened to be my favorite, was centered in the middle. It captured a couple in the park, both stood facing one another. The man looked down at the woman doing nothing but resting his palm against her cheek. At the time I felt guilty for taking the photo as I feared I was invading such a private moment, but looking at it now I was glad I took it.  When I asked their permission to use it as an option for my showcase they were more than willing to allow me, even asking for a copy of the photo themselves. What made the image so captivating was the way he looked at her, like she the most important person in the world.  There was so much acceptance and admiration in his eyes that you couldn't help but smile.

I suddenly had the overwhelming feeling of being watched, my skin tingling. When I glanced over to my side I noticed Harry staring at me in the corner of my eye.  As I turned to face him, he looked away quickly, his cheeks flushing. 

"So Harry, what do you think?" I asked, wanting the chance to get him talking. He seemed surprised by my question, but studied the photos deep in thought. 

"I think they're pretty incredible, honestly.  I love this one of the city, the way all the lights are lit and the shadows that the buildings are casting on the street. My favorite though, is definitely the couple.  It seems like such an intimate moment the way he's looking at her, almost like nothing else matters at that moment. It's beautiful.. " He said, pointing to the picture as he spoke, leaning in closer while a gentle smile played on is lips. 

"I agree. It really is beautiful. Is photography the career you're heading towards?" Emma asked, stepping in front of Harry. 

"There's nothing else I've dreamed of doing. Photography is my escape from the world." I said smiling. That was a question I was always proud to answer, regardless of people's thoughts on art as a career choice.  There was nothing else that filled me with so much passion and drive.  

"So are you a student here?" I asked Emma, wanting to know more about the gorgeous girl in front of me. 

"I'm a Junior."

"What major?"

"English and creative writing, like Harry.  We met in a seminar last year, actually. It was the class that every one in the major dreaded, but when Harry and I got talking that changed." She explained, offering him a smile, before continuing.

"He was so funny and charming-"

"She has to say that, I'm her ride home." Harry said interrupting her.  She scowled at him, while I laughed at his attempt at a joke, making him look at me with bright eyes.

 "Anyway, we became best friends pretty quickly, it was almost too easy, actually. I guess we just had a lot of the same opinions and interests in both being English majors. I found myself looking forward to class everyday just to see him... I'm rambling again. I'm sure you don't want to know all the boring details." Emma laughed, and I attempted to do the same though, coming out forced as I felt a twinge of jealousy in the way she spoke of Harry and their close relationship. 

"What about you, Louis? Is your girlfriend here with you?" She asked, looking around the room as if to search for her.

"I don't have a girlfriend, they aren't really my type." I explained, noticing a small reaction from Harry.  His eyes widened a bit before turning his face to look at the photos once again.

"Oh, a boyfriend then? With eyes like those you have to have lines of people fighting for your attention." That earned a short laugh louder than I anticipated, making Harry jump and look at me amused.  

"No, no boyfriend either." I answered honestly. 

"I'm sorry, that was incredibly nosey of me. I'm not the best with small talk if you hadn't noticed." She said after a moment, blushing.  I chuckled.

"It's fine, I don't mind. I just wasn't expecting your compliment, though I do appreciate it." Emma was about to respond when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see my adviser.  

"I'm so sorry to interrupt, Louis, but there are some people here who want to talk to you about your photos." I peaked around her shoulder noticing  two men and a woman who were dressed in business clothes, looking at me curiously. I groaned internally. While I was eager to speak to what appeared to be potential buyers, I wasn't ready to end my conversation with Harry and Emma. 

"I'm sorry guys, I have to go. I hate leaving you here on your own." 

"No, please go speak to them. It looks pretty important.  Maybe they want to buy some of your work! It's absolutely incredible, so they'd be fools not to." Emma spoke excitedly, something I began to think was a normal behavior of hers.  

"Isn't he great? One of the best in his major. He has several well known agencies vying for his attention, all wanting to offer him opportunities after graduation. He's too modest to mention that himself, though, so it's my job to embarrass him a bit." My adivser added, giving me a wink. She placed a hand on my shoulder, followed by a gentle squeeze in reassurance. I couldn't help the heat that coursed through my at her praise, becoming overly sensitive to Harry's gaze on me. 

"That's pretty impressive." Harry finally spoke, his voice low, his eyes staring intently into mine.  I felt my heart rate quicken, my pulse sounding like thunder in my ears.  I shouldn't be reacting this way, it was completely inappropriate. But I couldn't help it with the attention he was giving me. I needed to leave before I made a fool of myself. 

"Thank you both for coming. It was really great meeting you. Please stay and enjoy the other showcases, everyone here is so talented." I said, though part of me hoped I'd get the chance to speak to them again before they left. 

"It was nice meeting you too. Maybe the three of us could hang out some time?" She offered, surprising both me and Harry. She leaned closer to me, as to not want Harry to over hear her.

"He really doesn't get out much. He takes his writing and schoolwork so seriously, it'd be nice for him to have a friend." I chuckled and looked at Harry who glared at his girlfriend.

"Was that really necessary, Emma?" He asked, looking at me apologetically.

I laughed,

"No it's fine. I'd love that. I don't really know too many people here myself either.  Actually there's a football game tomorrow that I wanted to go to. I'm not big on sports, but football is one that I can tolerate. Besides, its against out biggest competitor." I suggested. To be honest I was taken aback by Emma's interest in meeting up again.  We hadn't exactly had the time to really get to know one another, the three of us still strangers.  I was happy to take her up on the offer, though, wanting to get to know Harry better in hopes of figuring out our current situation with the mirror. 

"That'd be great, we'll definitely try and make it." Emma said, smiling.  We exchanged numbers before saying goodbye.  I headed over to the group that my adviser was speaking to, looking back over my shoulder to see a pair of green eyes watching me closely. 

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Harry's POV:

It was nine thirty and Louis still wasn't back yet.  I waited anxiously, pacing the floor in front of the mirror, waiting for him to walk through the door.  Something happened today, something that hit me like a ton of bricks; it was simple, but changed how I felt and saw this entire situation as crazy as that sounded.

I had a new memory, a few actually.  They hit me so fast that it seemed to take over my entire mind and body.  This man who I had never met before yesterday, was now a familiar face.  I remember him coming up to me at school, introducing himself, then offering for me to see his showcase. At the time I thought he seemed a little strange, coming up to me and asking me such a random question.  But I remember thinking about how I never really took chances while in school, or tried to get to know anyone besides my girlfriend at the time. I figured I'd give it a shot, seeing where the night took us. Having that memory of Louis made the reality of this situation all the more known.  He was actually there in front of me, I spoke to him, I touched his hand.  He wasn't just a face in a reflection any more, but an actual memory.  

The next one came about an hour ago as I was writing my assignment at my desk.  This time flashes of photographs and crowds of people filled my mind.  I remember meeting Louis at the showcase, Emma by my side.  They seemed to hit it off immediately, talking as if they had been friends for years, I on the other hand felt a mix of emotions; something I never truly confessed to anyone, and often tried to hide. Growing up I began to realize that I wasn't just attracted to girls, but to boys as well.  I hid, always ashamed to admit it to myself let alone my family.  At the time I thought Emma was the one, I loved her and she loved me.  There was something about Louis, though, after that first meeting that left me wanting to know more. I had never seen him on campus before, but I couldn't ignore my attraction to him. This new memory changed the way I felt; when I saw Louis that night at the showcase I felt a connection to him that I couldn't explain.   He fascinated, yet terrified me all at the same time. There had been guys I was attracted to before, but none like Louis.  I admit, talking to him last night through the mirror sparked this attraction, but this new found memory of meeting and knowing him only heightened it. I knew how crazy I sounded, considering we had very minimal interaction with one another. It was just the way he made me feel when he said my name, or how my skin tingled when he looked at me with those piercing blue eyes.  He made my pulse quicken, and my usual calm demeanor become clumsy and flustered. The image of me tripping at the showcase came into my mind, and my immediate reaction was to see what Louis' face read.  Emma never made me feel that way, and that is what scared me. I shouldn't think this way. 

 _How_ could this happen, was another thought that entered my mind.  I never knew of Louis before yesterday, and now I had memories of spending time with him a year ago. There had to be an explanation as to why the past was suddenly changing, but I could think of none.  It didn't make any damn sense. What I did know was that I had to talk to him and figure out what exactly was going on.

After another twenty minutes of tossing theories back and forth, I heard shuffling on the other side of the mirror, Louis' image appearing moments later.

"Harry?" He called out, leaving me to rush to its surface. There he as wearing the same outfit he had on in my memory, except for him the event happened only hours beforehand. 

"Louis, I've been waiting for you. We need to talk." I rushed out.

"Harry-I met you today.  I don't know how I found you, but I did it like I said I would. I introduced myself to you and you even showed up at my showcase with your girlfriend.  It was incredible.  I honestly didn't believe you were a real person..but there you were, charming as ever." He said, looking at me with amazement in is clear blue eyes.

"Louis- I remember all of that. I don't know how or why, but I remember seeing you and those photographs." I stopped and thought for a minute, turning my attention to the black and white images lining the living room wall.

"Those were them! Those were the photos at your showcase.  I remember because I loved the one you took of the city-"

"You said you loved the lights against the sky, and the way the buildings cast shadows on the street." He said, taking the words right out of my mouth. I smiled, still confused as to what was going on.

"Louis, I think you just changed the past." I explained, finally connecting the dots.

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking at me confused.

"I wasn't supposed to meet you, which is why when I saw you in the mirror you were nothing but a stranger. You changed that when you found me today; I remember you: meeting you in the library, and then later that night at the showcase. You changed the past, which also changed my present.  I have these new memories and feelings now, that I didn't have before." I almost didn't believe the words as they came from my mouth.  How was that even possible? 

"Harry, how is this happening? Why is it?" He asked looking up at me. I shook my head.

"I don't know. I wish I knew the answer, but I don't. We're just going to have to take it as it comes.  I know it's frustrating and confusing, but we don't have many options here. It's not like we can call someone and explain our situation" I replied.

"You're right. I'd rather not end up confined to a padded cell, thank you. I'm just worried about what else is going to happen, I mean if this whole changing the past thing is legitimate I don't want to mess up your future and what you have going on now." Louis confessed, concern sweeping across his face.  His eyes furrowed in thought, while he cracked his knuckles, a habit that my sister did when she was nervous.  

"I don't have any other memories besides the ones from tonight.  Nothing else has changed." I reassured, worried by the same thing that Louis was.  What if spending time together in the past ruins what we have now? I liked my life and where I was.  I was a graduate, had my own apartment, a new job. How could I risk losing all of that?

Then again I was anxious to see what would happen between Louis and I. Would we become friends and finally figure out what was happening to us? Or would that meet just be a one time thing, leaving us both to find answers on our own? 

"We made plans to go to a football game together this weekend.  Do you want me to cancel that? I would understand, I know how confusing all of this must be for you. I may be getting these experiences firsthand, but for you they're just distant memories that spring into your mind unexpectedly." Louis said, his eyes sympathetic and understanding. I sighed and thought for a minute. I really didn't like the idea of messing with time and reality. That was something so much larger and beyond ourselves that one mistake could result in severe consequences.  I also knew that if we didn't do something and take action then we would never find a way out of this. 

"No. Don't cancel. I want to see where this goes. That is if you want the same thing."

"I do. I want to get to know the real you, not just some man in the mirror. But I'm also hoping we can figure this whole thing out. We just need to be careful, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize your life." He confessed, wringing his fingers together. I smiled at his concern, knowing he meant what he said. 

"That would be nice." I agreed, wanting to know the real Louis Tomlinson as well.  We sat there in silence for a moment, both overwhelmed and unsure of what to say. The effects of our sleepless night and a long day at work weighing in on me.  

"You're a lot taller than I expected." He said breaking the silence. I laughed, remembering standing up to shake his hand, noticing how he was much shorter than the other male students at the school.

"Well you aren't quite as I expected either."

"In a good way or bad?" Louis asked, looking up at me smirking. 

"Good. A very good way." I said, still a little confused by how I felt about him.  He turned and looked away, trying to hide the small smile that crept along his face.


	4. High Hopes

Harry's POV:

"So tell me about this Emma girl, is she still in your life now?" Louis asked, taking a seat at the chair he brought over. He had changed from his day clothes, and now adorned a loose pair of black sweatpants, a white sweatshirt and a dark red beanie which made his blue eyes seem sapphire. 

"No, she's not. We broke up a few months before the end of Senior year." I explained, recalling the day we ended it.

"Was it a nasty one?" He asked, a smirk playing on his lips. I chuckled.

"Sorry to disappoint, but we were very civil. We both just agreed that we weren't into it anymore. Of course we'll always care for each other, but I began to realize that I was never actually in love with her. I think I just liked having her around, she was a good person and we got along well, I guess I began to think that was love." I said, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. Louis nodded, taking in what I was saying.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out. From what I gathered she was a very sweet girl. Might be a little awkward now seeing you two at the football game tomorrow, knowing you break up in a few months." He laughed and I joined in.

"What about? Any wild exes I should know about?" I have teased.  He rolled his eyes, s smirk playing on his face. 

"Nope, I haven't really lived an adventurous life, unfortunately.  I dated a few girls in high school, but that didn't work out for obvious reasons." He stopped, seeming to gauge my reaction before continuing. 

"My freshman year of college I messed around with some guys but never really got attached to any of them. That was until my Junior year when I met a guy at the coffee shop I worked at. We dated for a while actually.  He was sweet and funny, but he had quite the temper.  We fought all the time, mostly over pointless shit, and soon I just couldn't put up with it anymore. I've been a bachelor ever since." Louis finished, linking his hands to stretch out in front of him before leaning back and resting them behind his head.  

"That's a shame..well partly." I said, making him raise his eyebrows in question. I hadn't intended on saying anything, though at times I often found myself speaking before I could think about it. 

"How so?" 

"It's a shame that you never found anyone, at least someone who treated you properly. You're a good guy; funny, sweet, kind. You deserve better than a few hookups and a guy who took you for granted." 

"You think so?" He asked after a moment, his eyes looking at me with bewilderment.  I could tell I had surprised him with my response, and to be honest I surprised myself.  My feelings towards Louis were constantly changing the more time we spent getting to know one another, along with the new memories that were filling my mind. 

I simply nodded, diverting my eyes away from his. 

"Tell me about your family." I said after a few moments of silence, trying to change the subject. This was one topic that Louis and I had only discussed briefly, and I was interested to hear more about him and his life growing up. 

"My family? Well, my dad died in a car crash when I was six-" He started, looking up at me, seemingly more at ease with the direction of the conversation. 

"I don't have many memories of him, and the ones I do seem to get fuzzier as I get older. My best one was the day he took me to my first football game. He threw me up on his shoulders so I could see above the crowds of people. He let me get whatever I wanted from the concession stands, which probably wasn't a wise idea in hindsight as I ended up throwing up on the ride home." He laughed at the memory before continuing.

"My mother lives not far from here with my sisters. I don't think she ever really recovered after my dad died. She's dated here and there, but I think she knows that no one will ever measure up to my father. He was a great man from what I remember, and the stories my mom has told us about him."

"I'm so sorry, Louis. I can't imagine what that felt like." I said.

"No worries, shit happens." He said casually. That's one thing I noticed about Louis, he never took things too seriously, even matters like this he'd brush aside and hide back what he was really feeling. For some reason that bothered me. I wanted to be able to know exactly what he was thinking and how he felt.

"Has your mom ever considered moving here with you?" Louis asked, directing the subject on to me.

"No. I've asked her on several occasions, but she's content with where she is; England is her home. I miss her and my sister like crazy though. I only got to see them maybe once or twice a year while I was in school. It was nice having time this summer to spend with them. We promised we would make sure to talk every week, though." Which was something I still needed to do.  I had been so distracted by what was happening between Louis and I that I had neglected to keep up with my weekly routine. 

"That's good that you guys keep in touch. As much as they annoy the shit out of me, I could never be that far away from my family. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a momma's boy." Louis said smiling.

"No shame in that." I replied, returning the gesture. I looked over a the clock to see it was almost midnight. I didn't know how much more of these late nights I could handle. Thank God tomorrow was Saturday and I didn't have to get up for work.

"Harry?" Louis called quietly. I turned my attention back to him, noticing concern in his blue eyes.

"Yes?"

"What do you think is going to happen tomorrow? I mean with you and me. This whole changing the past is a little overwhelming." He said, biting nervously at his lips. I stared at them for a second longer than I should have, snapping out of it to answer his question.

"I wish I knew, Louis. It's scary to think that whatever you do in the past is affecting and rewriting what's going on today, but maybe this was supposed to happen." I started, Louis looking at me confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Like maybe this is the universe's way of telling us we have a second chance at things. Maybe we were supposed to meet, and now we're getting that chance to finally do that."

"You really think the universe works like that?" Louis asked, slightly amused.

"I don't know..It sounded good though, didn't it?" I said chuckling. I ran my fingers through my hair, taking my hair tie off my wrist to throw it up in a bun. Louis watched me, something in his eyes that I couldn't quite read. He looked away nervously when he realized I was watching him.

"I, um, I should be going to bed. We got a long day a head of us tomorrow." Louis said, rising from his chair. I nodded in agreement.

"Yes you certainly do. Make sure I have fun tomorrow, I want these new memories that I'm getting to be good ones." I teased.

"I'll certainly try my best. Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, Louis." I said before getting up to shut the living room light off. I made my way to the bedroom, stopping by the desk to grab my laptop. Kicking off my jeans and throwing my shirt on the floor, I got in bed and started up the screen.

Maybe this was a little much to be doing, but I figured there really wasn't any harm in looking Louis up online. I quickly typed his name across the keys, noticing quite a few tabs popping up. There were a lot more Tomlinson's than I had expected, as I scrolled down the page. I noticed a picture of his mother, who was listed as "Principal of the Year" for the elementary school she worked for.  I smiled, noticing the similarities between them.  As I scanned farther down the screen, my heart stopped when I saw a picture of Louis, noticing the title of the page in the local newspaper.

_Twenty-One Year Old, Louis Tomlinson, Found Dead in His Apartment After a Break In Gone Wrong._

I couldn't help the wave of panic that coursed through my body as I read over the article. He was found the next day by his mother who came over to check on him after not returning her phone calls. They never found the suspect, leaving the case unsolved. My heart lurched when I saw the date; December 21, 2014. That was just a little more than two months from now.

This couldn't be right. They must have had the wrong Louis, I thought, reading over the article again. Suddenly it all made sense; this was the reason his name was so familiar.  This happened during the time I was working at the newspaper for my internship my senior year.  I remembered people in the office talking about it, the author of the article a man who I spoke to briefly.  I was shocked that this happened to a UMass student, and felt for his mother who had to be there to discover his body, a few days from Christmas no less. It never clicked that it was this Louis, though. My Louis. The boy who I had just spoken to minutes before, the boy who was so kind and captivating.  It didn't make any sense. Why was this happening? Why would he be brought into my life, in a very unconventional way I may add, only to die two months from now? 

I slammed my laptop shut, and threw it on my bed, anxiously pacing the floor. What was I going to do? Did I tell Louis that he was going to be dead in two months? Or would he think I was crazy and lying? How do you tell someone that? Where would you even begin to explain to them what was happening and how their life now had a a very near expiration date? 

This was ridiculous, I had to tell him. He had to know the truth, regardless of how awful it truly was. I ran out into the living room, heading straight for the mirror. The moon casting just enough light to illuminate my figure in the reflection. It washed me out, making me look sickly pale, my eyes filled with worry and fear.

"Louis!" I called out, praying he would answer. Nothing. I called again and again and still nothing. He must have been asleep. I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration, messing up my bun. I had to tell him the second I saw him, I thought, deciding that I would sleep out here in the living room so I would be able to hear him when he left in the morning.

I grabbed my blanket and pillows from my bed, throwing them down on the couch. Hours seemed to have passed before sleep finally took over my restless mind, leaving me to dream of a blue eyed boy smiling widely on his father's shoulders.

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Louis' POV:

When I got up the next morning, I didn't realize how late it actually was. All these nights staying up with Harry must have caught up with me and my exhausted body.  I padded barefoot into the kitchen, looking through the mirror to see a sleeping Harry. I hadn't noticed him there when we said goodbye, realizing he must have ended up there during the night. He looked so innocent and peaceful.  His too long legs dangled slightly off the edge of the couch, his hair in complete disarray.  My eyes scanned over his bare chest, noticing his black boxers hitting just bellow his hip.  I diverted my gaze back to the mug of coffee in front of me. 

I sat there deep in thought, thinking about the beautiful boy with green eyes.  How could he have such an affect on me when we barely even knew each other? That statement wasn't completely true; we actually knew each other pretty well despite the short time frame since we had met.  He knew everything about me, I never really opened up to other people about my dad or my deepest fears and insecurities, like I had with Harry.  He was so trusting and there were times where I felt I had known him my entire life.  I knew it was just some stupid school boy crush, but it felt like more than just a juvenile game.  I still wondered why and how we were in this situation, but lately what I questioned most was my feelings for him.  They weren't anything extreme, but something was there.  Everything about this drove me insane, especially the way those green eyes never left my mind. 

"Louis" I heard someone call out softly.  My heart stopped, looking around me to see where it was coming from.  

"Lou-" It spoke again, though this time I recognized the gentle voice.  I walked over to the mirror, noticing that Harry wasn't in front of it trying to get my attention, but instead still slept deeply on the couch.  Was he talking to me in his sleep? The thought made heat creep up my neck and my stomach flip. Harry stirred slightly, turning on his side while pulling the blanket up higher on his shoulders. 

I smiled and downed the rest of my coffee before heading back into my bedroom to get dressed for today's outing, settling on a grey knitted sweater and black skinny jeans.  I slipped on my sneakers, grabbed my jacket and headed out the door, stealing one last look at the sleeping Harry. 

There was still a little time left until I had to meet Emma and Harry at the game, so I decided I would go into town.  It wasn't far of a walk, and I honestly didn't mind it.  It gave me the chance to take in my surrounding and enjoy the life and energy around me.  I loved people watching, and not just when I was looking from behind my camera lens.  People fascinated me; everyone having their very own story, a past and a future. 

When I reached cafe I was headed for, I opened the large green door and was enveloped in the smell of coffee beans and bread.  It was crowded, which wasn't unusual for this area as it was popular with tourists.  I was able to find a stool along the front window, quickly ordering a cup of tea and claiming the spot.  I watched as lines of people walked up and down the sidewalks, bags from the various shops in hand. 

After the conversation I had with Harry last night, I decided to take my phone out and call my mom.  I punched in the familiar numbers and let the phone ring.  A cheery voice answered, making me smile.

"Hello?"

"Hi mom, how are you?" I asked, taking the lid off my tea to blow on it.  I watched as the steam from the hot liquid floated through the air.

"Oh Louis it's so good to hear from you. I'm doing well, just got back from the store, now fixing some lunch for your sisters.  How are you doing?" She replied, the sound of cabinets opening and closing in the background.

"I'm doing good.  Headed to a football game later with some friends. I had my showcase last night, and it went surprisingly well.  A few people actually offered to buy some of my photographs." I explained, not caring for those details, but instead remembering the way my heart pounded in my chest when I noticed Harry staring at me. 

"Louis that's incredible.  You've got a gift; I'm so proud of you." She said, the smile evident in her voice.

"So tell me about these friends you're going with.  It's not often that I hear you're going out with people." I rolled my eyes, though she wasn't wrong.  Social gatherings weren't really my type of thing. 

"I met them at the showcase actually. Harry and his girlfriend Emma. He's pretty amazing." I said, taking a sip of my tea. 

"Well I'm just happy you're getting out and meeting new people.  You deserve to get out and have fun."

"I get out, mom. Just because I don't spend my nights partying and getting wasted like every other college student doesn't mean I'm some hermit." I explained.

"Don't get defensive, I just worry about you." She said softly.  I sighed and apologized, knowing she only wanted what was best for me.  We spent a while talking about my sisters, my classes, and some more about my photography, before I looked at the clock and realized that if I was going to make it on time to the game I had to start walking now.  We said our goodbyes, my mom making me promise to call her later and let her know how the game went.  I quickly finished the rest of my now cold tea and headed into the busy streets of Boston. 

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jean jacket, and dodged a group of people walking towards me.  The walk to the football field wasn't too bad, just a little past the main campus hall.  When I  reached the gates, I took out my phone to text Emma that I was here.  I had to admit I was a little nervous to be spending time with the two of them.  While I knew a fair amount of information about Harry, to him I was still a stranger.  He didn't know me, yet, and I didn't want to ruin my chances of changing that.  I waited for Emma's response, watching the hyped of crowds of people file into the stadium.  I never really understood the behavior that was notorious at these games, with the obnoxious cheering and the tacky face paint.  The only reason I even gave football the slightest bit of my attention was because these games were some of the few memories I had left of my dad.

I pulled my phone back out of my pocket when I felt it vibrate, reading a text from Emma.

_Hey Louis! I'm not feeling well so I won't be at the game. Harry should be there though, I'll text him to look out for you. Enjoy the game!_

My stomach twisted in knots at the thought of Harry and I spending time alone together. I knew we had talked for hours in front of the mirror, but it was different than actually being face to face with him.  I scanned the crowds looking for the familiar mop of curly brown hair.  I waved my hand when I spotted his green eyes, he smiled and nodded, heading over to my direction.  I pulled out my phone to text Emma.

_Found him. I'm sorry you couldn't make it. Feel better!_

I shoved it back in my pocket, just in time to see Harry looking down at me. 

"Emma couldn't make it, she's in bed sick." He explained, not knowing Emma just texted me.

"You didn't have to come, I would have understood if you wanted to be with her." I said, feeling bad about taking him away from Emma.

"No, I wanted to come.  I don't get out much, and there isn't much I can do for her anyway."

I nodded, then looked around to see the crowds of people getting fewer and fewer.

"We should probably head in and find seats." I said, turning to lead the way.  When we got in the stadium, we both looked up and down the bleachers, finally finding an opening a few rows from the top.  I awkwardly excused myself from blocking the view of the people we passed, cursing when I stumbled on the feet of large man with red face paint.  I would have landed right in his lap had Harry not been there to grab my arm and steady my balance. I flushed and thanked him, my hand tingling from the contact.

When we reached our seats, kickoff was just beginning.  The crowd cheered and jumped to their feet as our team caught the ball.  I couldn't find it in myself to focus on what was happening, too preoccupied by the close proximity of Harry's body next to mine.  He was dressed in blue jeans, tan boots that matched the color of his jacket, and a red and black flannel that had the first few buttons undone, revealing the two black birds etched into his chest.  Even when he didn't try he looked amazing.  He watched the game intently, his eyes following the team as they rushed to their designated scoring area. 

I quickly looked away, not wanting him to catch on to my staring.  When the first half ended, we were ahead by only a few points.  People rose from their seats, heading towards the concession stands to refuel their energy for another half of cheering. 

"Are you going to get anything?" Harry asked, looking at me.  I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I felt my stomach growl. 

"Yeah I think I'll just get a hot dog or something. I skipped breakfast and lunch today." I reached into my pocket to pull out my wallet when Harry stopped me.

"I've got it, I'll be right back." He said, rising to his feet to follow the line of people heading down the narrow steps.  I waited patiently, taking my phone out to scroll through the various social media sites. I looked up when I saw Harry making his way up the stairs, two hot dogs in one hand, and drinks in another. How he was able to carry all of that was beyond me.

"Thank you, you didn't have to do that. I'll pay you back, buy you a drink sometime or something." I said, taking the food from his hands and placing it on my lap.

"It's no problem, really." He said smiling, taking  bite of his hot dog. 

"So tell me about yourself, Louis."

"What do you want to know?" I said, though the future Harry already knew everything. 

"Were you born in Boston?" Harry asked, looking from the field and over to me, his green eyes filled with curiosity.

"Born and raised. My family lives just a little past campus. I never really ever thought about leaving Boston, so UMass was the perfect fit for me." I explained, taking a sip of my soda feeling the burn of the carbonation as it hit my throat.

"I take it with your strong accent that you aren't from around here." I continued, pretending as if I knew nothing about the boy in front of me.

He chuckled,

"No, I'm from England. I always wanted to go to school in America, and once I visited Boston I fell in love.  It's incredible here."

"It really is." I agreed, finishing up the last bit of my hot dog.  We sat in silence for a few more minutes, but unsure of what to say next.  My nerves from earlier soon began to dissipate the more time we spent together.  Harry had a calming way about him that never made you feel uncomfortable or out of place.  Even in silence I didn't feel the need or pressure to keep up with constant conversation or acts. 

"What made you go into photography?" Harry asked, breaking me from my thoughts. 

"Well ever since I was little I loved taking pictures.  I remember my grandparents got me my own Polaroid camera for Christmas one year, and I went through boxes of film, snapping pictures of everything I passed by. It went from just some hobby to something that I wanted follow as a career." I explained, noticing how Harry never broke eye contact with me, holding my gaze as if nothing else mattered.  I coughed nervously, breaking the stare to look at the field. 

"From what I saw last night you definitely have a gift." He said, taking the words of what my mother had told me earlier.  I smiled and thanked him before asking him what he wanted to do after he graduated.

"I'd love to be able to just write; whether it be in a newspaper, or a magazine.  One day I'd love to have my own work published, but I'm not sure how realistic that is." He said, giving me a small shy smile. 

"You're writing is amazing." I said without thinking, a look of confusion crossed his face before I added,

"I mean I bet it is.  You shouldn't sell yourself short." I relaxed when he didn't press the issue further.  He was about to speak when the buzzer sounded, ending halftime.  Harry looked at me and mouthed "later," before turning to watch the game start up again.

I watched as the sun began to fall, casting warm colors across the sky.  The cool fall air blew around us, making me hug myself closer in my jacket.  Harry seemed to notice and offered me a pair of gloves that were in his pocket.  I thanked him, chuckling at how ridiculous my hands looked inside the too big fingers. I appreciated the gesture all the same. 

When the buzzer went off, the crowd roared, our team winning the game.  Harry jumped up from his seat and cheered, his face full of excitement and adrenaline.  He raised his arms to slap the man next to him, both feeding into one another's chanting. I laughed at him, causing him to turn and glare at me. 

As the cheering died down we headed down the stairs and towards the parking lot. I tried not to get lost in the sea of people, keeping focus on Harry who made sure that I was following close behind.  Once the area cleared, he leaned down by my ear to speak to me over the noise of the crowds. 

"I was going to ask you before, but the game started back up. There's a party in my dorm building tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. I usually go with Emma, and feel silly going alone. They aren't typically my thing, but it should be fun. Apparently people go wild after these games." Harry said, his breath tickling my skin, causing goosebumps to rise along my neck. 

I mentally debated the pros and cons of taking Harry up on his offer.  I knew I should be heading home, not wanting to change too much of the past and alter Harry's future.  But I also wanted the chance to spend more time with him, my mother's words about me getting out and enjoying myself echoing in my head.

"Sure, I'd like that."

"Great" He said, smiling widely, revealing his dimples.  Then I remembered that I had walked here.

"Harry? I hate to ask this but would you mind giving me a ride there? I walked from my apartment." I said, a little embarrassed.

"Of course not, it's no problem at all." He reassured, leading the way to a small black car.  I got in the passenger side, and watched as Harry walked around to his side, opening the door and starting the engine. Music began playing from the speakers, immediately recognizing the song. I sang along softly, mouthing the words to myself as we pulled out of the lot.  

"So you have your own apartment? That's pretty impressive." He said, turning onto the main road leading back towards campus.

"Yeah I kind of lucked out with that place.  It's pretty cheap, which works for me considering I only live off of the money I get for selling my pictures. My mom helps me out too, which I really appreciate." I explained.

"Do you have any siblings?" He asked. I laughed to myself, realizing we had had this exact conversation in front of the mirror last night, though of course this Harry wouldn't remember that.

"I do. I have five sisters.  They're quite a handful." I said, Harry looking at me with surprise.

"You have five sisters? That is insane.  I have one sister back home in England.  I miss her and my mother so much."

"I could never be away from my family like that.  I give you a lot of credit being here on your own." I complimented. He gave me a small smile.

"I never really minded being on my own. I quite like the independence and freedom." He said, pulling into the dorm parking lot.  We got out of the car and I followed Harry, unsure of where to go.  A small group of students were outside the buildings door, smoking and laughing.  I ducked my head as we walked passed them, hating the smell of cigarettes.  When we reached the door where I assumed the party was, Harry gave a small knock before being greeted by a short blonde.  She already had a drink in hand, and I could tell from the glossiness in her eyes that she was on her way to being drunk.

"Harry I'm so glad you're here. Oh and you brought a friend. He's cute." She said loudly, making me flush in embarrassment. Harry gave me a sympathetic smile before giving the girl a small hug and entering the room. Harry took hold of my hand, leading me through a group of people.  I hadn't expected the gesture, feeling his cold soft skin against my own left chills down my spine. When we reached an empty spot I took off my jacket and placed the gloves inside the pocket, making a mental note to return them back to Harry before I went home. He removed his own, the action making his partially unbuttoned flannel open more to expose his chest. Harry noticed and smirked bashfully, readjusting the material. 

He motioned for me to follow him, leading me to a table filled with red cups. Harry reached down and grabbed two, handing me one.  I quickly downed it contents, knowing that I was going to need alcohol coursing through my veins in order to get through this night. Music coursed through the speakers of the small space, resulting in groups of people dancing closely, each grinding up against one another.  The room smelt like sweat, cigarettes and booze, making my head a little fuzzy.  

I looked over to Harry and noticed he had quickly finished his drink, reaching for another behind him.  I laughed at his earnest actions and followed suit, wincing at the burn of the alcohol in my throat.  When I grabbed another cup, I raised it to Harry's.  

"To a wild night with new people." I said, hitting the plastic to his. He smiled and took a sip, his eyes never leaving my own. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come dance with me, Lou!" Harry yelled over the loud speakers playing music. After several drinks, I was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol, and judging by the way Harry had been acting I could tell he was too.  We had spent what seemed like hours sitting on the couch talking about everything that came to mind.  With more alcohol came more honesty, and opening up. Soon we were both feeling pretty good and carefree, which was obvious in my agreeing to dance with Harry.

I got up from my seat, took the last sip of my drink, and headed for the dance floor.  Harry offered me his hand which I gladly took, laughing as he spun me around and under his arm.  People were crowded around us, sweaty breathless bodies grinding against one another.  Harry and I were only inches apart, the people around us not giving us much room to roam free. I honestly couldn't complain.  I loved seeing Harry like this.  He was so relaxed and happy.  His eyes brighter, his cheeks flushed.  His hair was pushed back against his head, a few curls matted to his forehead. His shirt had somehow lost a few more buttons, and now almost completely exposed his chest.  

I was surprised by how affectionate he was when he drank.  He had no problem reaching out to hold my hand or lean a little to close to whisper something in my ear.  Each touch no matter how innocent made my heart rate quicken and stomach knot.  He had this overwhelming affect on me and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. The way he acted around me though made me question certain things; like how he'd stare at my lips when I spoke, or how close he'd pull me to his chest when we danced.  This wasn't the way a straight man acted when in a relationship with a girl he had been dating for months.  

When the song ended we all clapped, before Harry took my hand and lead me through the crowd and to the bathroom just around the corner. The action left me slightly dizzy, as I tried to focus on stopping the room from spinning. I leaned against the wall, steadying my balance.  

"Sorry, I just needed some air. It't not as crowded over here." He said still slightly breathless from the dancing. 

"I didn't know you had moves like that. Those long legs of yours certainly know what they're doing." I teased, running my finger through my messy hair. 

"Me? What about you? You definitely don't mind getting close with those hips." He said laughing, and I joined in, too drunk to be embarrassed. We stood there for a moment, not breaking our gaze.

"I'm glad you came tonight, Louis. I've had a lot of fun; more than I've had in a long time actually."

"I'm glad I came too." I said, noticing a piece of hair that had fallen in Harry's face.  I resisted the urge to reach up and tuck it behind his ear. 

I hadn't noticed how close we had gotten until I looked up at his face which was just a few inches from mine.  Harry's warm breath wafted across my face, smelling of beer and mint.  He surprised me by reaching down to run his thumb along my cheekbone, sending chills down my spine.

"What are you doing to me, Lou?" He whispered so softly that I wasn't even sure he had said it.

"What do you mean, Harry?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly.

His green eyes pierced into mine, and before I could tell what was happening I felt his lips pressed against my own.  My eyes shot open in shock, my body frozen in place. I felt a jolt of adrenaline course through my veins, fire igniting my skin. His mouth was soft and inviting.  It took everything in my power not to kiss him back.  But the Harry back home in the mirror kept me from returning the gesture.  This wasn't just about me anymore; I'd be altering Harry's future too.  How would he react to a new memory of us making out at a party?

After a moment Harry pulled away, seemingly surprised by his own actions.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry Louis. I didn't intend to do that. It kind of just happened." He stuttered out, running his hands through his hair.

"I mean I've wanted to kiss you, which kind of scared me because I have a girlfriend who loves me very much, but God for some reason all I could think about tonight was how incredible you are and how badly I wanted to kiss you right now." God he was chatty when he was nervous. I looked at him, trying not to pay attention to what he was saying or how it made me feel like I was being shocked back to life. 

"Harry, you're drunk, tomorrow when you wake up you'll think about what happened and regret it. You love Emma." I reassured, not wanting him to feel bad about what happened, knowing perfectly well he obviously didn't mean to kiss me; he was clearly straight...right? 

"No, Louis, I may be a little buzzed, but I'm not drunk.  I meant to kiss you and I'd do it again in a heartbeat." He confessed, his face flushing though I couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol or embarrassment. My eyes widened at his words.  I wasn't sure if it was what I drank, my hormones, or the awakening feelings for this boy that made me forget all my previous worries about the future. 

"Oh fuck it." I said before reaching up on my toes to grab Harry's face and crush his lips on mine.  He reached down and pushed my hips, causing me to slam against the wall, his body flushed against mine.  I knotted my fingers in his hair, earning a small moan from him.  God this was so wrong, but felt so right.  It seemed he knew exactly where to hold me, as if our bodies had been designed to fit together.  Our kisses became rougher, more feverish and needy. Everything around us became a blur; the people, the music.  All that mattered was his mouth against mine, and the taste of his tongue.  I was suddenly lost in stars, smoke and the beautiful green eyed boy looking back at me. 


	5. A.M.

Harry's POV

*Flashback*

_"Oh fuck it." Louis said, looking up at me with pure lust in his blue eyes. He grabbed my face and pressed his lips against mine, knotting his hands in my hair. I moaned and pushed him up against the wall, his small body pressed up along mine._

_I didn't know how we got here, but I couldn't care less; I forgot that we were surrounded by people we barely knew, I forgot that I had Emma, sick in her dorm room. I forgot that this I only had known this boy for a few days.  All that mattered was the way he made me feel something that I never thought possible; it was as if every nerve in my body was a live wire, my blood pumping as fast as my heart would go. Each caress and every kiss left me wanting more; it was never enough._

_I had questioned my sexuality before, realizing that I honestly didn't care who I ended up with; love was love and who was I to set a limit on it._

_I thought that I was in love with Emma; she was beautiful, and smart and so sweet. But in all the times we had kissed since being together, she had never once made me feel the way Louis did the moment my lips met his. The adrenaline coursed through my veins like fire and ice with each kiss._

_Maybe I was insane for kissing this boy that I just met, but in the hours we had spent talking I knew that there was something special about him. He fascinated me and left me wanting to know more. I couldn't explain the attraction I felt towards him, not fully understanding it myself, but all I knew was that I had this hunger that only he seemed to be able to satisfy._

_Louis broke the kiss, both of us breathless. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright and glossy. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, electricity bringing me back to life. He surprised me by returning his needy mouth back to mine, stepping to the side to open a door behind him, never breaking the kiss. The room was dark except for the light of the moon shinning through the window. The need between us heightened, making me shove Louis up against the door a little too hard. He grunted but continued to knot his fingers in my hair. I reached down to grab hold of his waist, hitching his leg up so it wrapped around my hip.  The other followed, and soon I was holding him up against the wall, while my hand slowly ran up and down his thigh._

_My arms began to ache from holding him up, and I turned us around and led him backwards to the bed, easing him down so I was hovering over his body. Louis freed one of his hands from my hair to run it up my shirt, causing chills to go down my spine. I let out a shaky breath as I felt him tease the line above my pants, his touch cold and soft._

_I had to stop this, we couldn't go this far. I had to figure things out with Emma, and we were both a little drunk; he may not even want this. I know he said he was gay, but that didn't mean he was gay for me. My doubts quickly vanished when I felt something pressing against my thigh, looking down to notice the tightness growing in Louis' pants. I smirked and returned my mouth to his. I began unbuttoning the last few on my shirt, my chest now completely revealed as I gently caressed Louis' cheek, noticing the stubble that lightly decorated his jawline._

_"Harry I-" Louis said, pulling away from me, his hand still pressed against my chest. I looked down at him, the moon highlighting his figure. Seeing him like this, eyes bright and the color of deep blue sapphires, his cheeks flushed, lips pink and swollen.  He was absolutely beautiful._

_"What's wrong, Lou?" I asked, concerned, reaching down to brush his hair out of his eyes._

_"I can't, Harry. I can't do this." He said, pushing me aside and rushing out the door. I jumped up after him, noticing the stares we earned from people standing in the hallway._

_"Louis wait!" I yelled, too late. He was already out the door. I ran my fingers through my hair, kicking the chair in front of me._

_"Fuck" I groaned to myself. What did I do?_

_*End flashback*_

The wave of confusion and panic that came over me made my head spin. What the fuck was that? I had no recollection of that memory an hour ago, and now it was as fresh in my mind as if it just happened. The force of Louis' body pressed against mine, the taste of his lips on my tongue, the indescribable feeling that washed over me the second we kissed. I ran my finger across my bottom lip, missing the absence of his mouth; alcohol and mint. 

My head was spinning at the new memories and emotions I was experiencing; I had feelings for Louis. What I thought was just a small attraction for this boy was now heightened to an extreme extent.

How could he let this happen? He knew how much control and influence he had on my present, and he went and completely changed everything. I now had memories of running over to Emma's dorm room to tell her everything that happened. I remember debating whether or not I should even tell her, unsure of what exactly happened between Louis and I, and what it all meant.  I did know that I could not fully invest myself in a relationship with Emma though, knowing I may feel something for someone else. What was once a simple breakup between the two of us, was now me confessing my possible feelings for another person. This new memory of us was not a particularly nice or civil one like before; I remember the look on her face, her eyes changing from sad to disappointed to angry. She kicked me out of her room, slamming the door in my face. We've barely spoken since then, never fully forgiving me. Not that I blamed her; I had given no indication whatsoever that I was interested in Louis, let alone men. These new emotions of guilt and frustration invaded me, as I realized how much I hurt Emma.  Despite the fact that I knew we wouldn't last, she was such a sweet girl and my best friend.  She deserved better than what I gave her.  

I paced my living room, anxiously awaiting Louis' arrival. I had sat here most of the day, pissed at myself for not waking up before he left. How was I going to tell him what I found? Not only did I have to come to terms with the fact that Louis and I were very close to having sex, but I also had to figure out how to explain to him that he was going to die in two months time.

I ran my fingers through my already knotted hair, my stomach turning when I heard the door unlock.

"Harry?" Louis called out, rushing over to the mirror. His face was flushed, his eyes panicked. He must have walked home from the party. I didn't like the thought of him walking that far at night alone.

"Harry I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't even know what I was doing. You were just there and you kissed  _me,_ and fuck, I'm so sorry." He stammered out, obviously as surprised as I was by the events that had taken place.

He was right, though. I had no place to be upset with him for changing the past, considering I was the one who kissed him; it was my fault.

"No, Louis, I'm sorry. I kissed you and I let things get too far." I started, stepping closer to the mirror.

"God this is so weird, I had no memory of this an hour ago, and here we are now."

"I know how overwhelming this all must be for you. I hate that you have to go through this this way." Louis continued, his face calming a little.

I thought for a moment before looking back up at him, noticing my heart rate quicken a bit. His face suddenly drained, eyes wide and frantic. 

"Oh my God, what about Emma? Holy shit what did I do?" Louis rushed out, starting to walk back and forth in front of me. 

"She broke up with me." I said, wanting to ease the anxiety and fear that appeared to consume him.  He really wasn't to blame for this, and I needed to make sure he understood that; that he realized I  _wanted_ to kiss him, and that I would do it again without a moment's hesitation. 

"What did you tell her?" By now he was full on pacing the floor, avoiding any eye contact with me. I sighed, debating whether or not I should tell him the truth. If I told him that I confessed everything to Emma, then he might feel even more guilty about what had happened between the two of us. But, I also felt as if honesty was key in this situation.

"I told her about the kiss..and how I-" I stopped, starring at the wall in front of me.

"How you what?" Louis asked, I could feel his eyes on me, making my skin tingle.

I waited a moment, afraid to finish my sentence. Was this really the right moment to reveal how I felt about him? 

"How I was starting to question my feelings..for you." I said slowly, my words dragging as I gauged his reaction.  

I heard his breath stop.

"What?" It was barely a whisper. 

"I know it's fucking crazy of me to be thinking this, and please don't think this is your fault in any way, but after spending time with you and having that kiss..I realized that I wasn't as happy with Emma as I thought." I confessed, still not meeting his gaze.

"Harry-" Louis started, but I cut him off.

"Please, Louis, I need to get this out.. do not take any blame for this, and don't feel obligated to say anything. I know this entire situation is so fucked up, and we only just began getting to know one another, but-I have never opened up to anyone as much as I have with you.  You make everything so easy because you're so accepting and kind. I haven't met anyone like you, Lou, and maybe I am truly insane and this is my breaking point, but I care about you..a lot more than I thought or anticipated." I finished, looking him in the eye to see them soften from hard ice to a calm sea of blue.  

"You really feel that way?" He asked, his voice in disbelief. 

"I do." 

Louis didn't day anything for a moment, just simply looked at me, never breaking my gaze.  His attention should have made me uncomfortable, but I could only marvel at the man in front of me who was changing me day by day.  What started out as a surreal situation that left us both questioning our sanity, was now turning into some twisted love story; one where the object of the other's affection was just out of reach, and was set to die in two months time. My heart dropped at the thought, forgetting about it momentarily. I needed to tell him.

"Lou, there's something else you should know." I started, feeling my throat constrict with the words that were about to spill over. How do you tell someone this? 

"What is it? Judging by the look on your face it can't be good." He chuckled nervously.  I didn't move. Everything seemed frozen in place, waiting for me to reveal the truth that I was afraid to speak.  

"I found something last night..it was about you. God, I don't even know how to tell you this so I'm just going to come right out with it." I took a deep breath, watching that once calm sea in his eyes turn to violent waves of panic threatening to pull me under.

"When I looked up your name, I found an article...in two months your apartment will be broken into and there will be an attempted burglary." 

"That's it?" He looked at me confused, seemingly relieved with my statement, though only knowing half the story.  I shook my head, breaking away from his gaze to look at the ground.  

"No, that wasn't it.  You were home at the time of the break in..and it-you're murdered, Louis. They must not have known you were here and acted on it when they saw you. Your mother finds you a few days later." I reveal, realizing that may not have been the best thing to say, or the greatest way to phrase it.  Then again I don't think there were guidelines to follow in this type of situation. 

I watched as his face paled, his mouth dropping open slightly.  I hated this. I hated that this was happening to him. I hated how this incredible life was over in two months.  I hated how I just found him, and now had a very limited time to spend with him. What kind of fucked up universe was this?

"I-what?" Louis choked out, his voice low and strangled.

"I'm so sorry, Lou. I don't- I'm not sure what to do or say, but we can fix this. I won't let anything happen to you."  

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Louis' POV

Two months.

In two months I was going to be dead. I felt the blood from my face drain as Harry spoke, revealing what he had discovered last night.

I honestly didn't believe him at first; I thought it was some sick joke, a way to get back at me for the kiss. But when he eventually showed me the article online, and then the obituary that was written a few days later, the reality of my fate came crashing down. Two months.

I was out of time; I wouldn't be able to walk across the stage and get my diploma. I wouldn't be able to travel the world, documenting every place I stopped with endless photographs. I wouldn't have the opportunity to settle down and start a family. In two months all of that would be ripped away from me.

I could see the concern in Harry's eyes.

"Louis, we can stop this though. It says it was a break in gone wrong. Now that we know about it we can stop it from happening." He said with such determination in his voice that I almost believed him. 

"How do you know that, Harry? We've changed so much already, who's to say my death won't change either?" I said, my voice shaken. How could this happen? Why? What did I do to have die? 

"I don't know, Lou. I wish I had these answers." Harry started, and I could see the pain this was causing him.  

"What I do know is that I will do anything in my power to prevent this from happening. We'll work through this and figure it out; _nothing_ is going to happen to you. I promise." His eyes were firing emeralds that were filled with passion and conviction for what he was saying.  I knew I should believe him.  He was right, in a sense. We now had warning of the event, and could potentially avoid it.  But there was a large part of me that knew that life didn't work out that way.  Things never went as planned or how we'd hoped. 

No matter how badly I wanted to listen to those words that fell from Harry's mouth, and feel that relief and protection he was trying to provide me with, I couldn't. I knew better than to hope for something I had no control over. My death wasn't something that Harry or I could change, whatever was going to happen was going to happen. It was just when that was the question.

"Talk to me, Louis." Harry said. I looked up at him, defeated and longing to be within the comfort of his arms.  I remembered the way he held me tonight at the party, I felt so safe and accepted.  What I would give to have that now.   

"I-I have to go, Harry. I just need time to think." I replied, noticing a hint of disappointment in his green eyes. He nodded in understanding.

"Okay. I'll be right here for you if you need me. I'm not going to let you go through this alone." He reassured, I smiled slightly at his words. He was too kind and compassionate.  The type of person the world needed more of. 

"I know, Harry. Thank you, that means a lot to me."

After a moment,

"Well, goodnight, Louis." Harry said, though his face told me he wasn't ready to say goodbye. To be honest neither was I. I wanted nothing more than to sit here and spend the night listening to the soft rhythm of Harry's voice as he reassured me that everything would be okay. But I knew that I needed time to myself to figure out what was happening.

"Goodnight, Harry." I said before giving him one last forced smile and heading for the bedroom. I closed the door behind me, laying down in my bed.

My head spun at the thoughts running through it right now. From the memory of Harry's lips on mine, to the realization that in two months time I could very well be dead.

How could all this be happening? Did I piss God off somehow?

I barely had the chance to live my life. Everything that I had would be taken away from me. I thought of my mom and sisters and how heartbroken they would all be. I couldn't bear the thought of ever leaving them or seeing them in that much pain. The image of my mother finding my body was enough to knock the breath out of my lungs, leaving me gagging. Her face never leaving my mind.  

Then I thought of the green eyed man in the mirror. When he told me he questioned his feelings for me, I couldn't help the excitement that flooded my body. I never expected it, honestly, considering he had a girlfriend which I assumed meant he was straight. Judging by the way he was with me, though, my assumptions could not have been more wrong. I couldn't hide that fact that after tonight my feelings for him had grown as well. The way he made my feel alive and on fire with just a simple touch was something I had never experienced before. Pulling away from him was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I knew how much what happened would affect Harry's present. It wouldn't be right of me to take advantage of that; he deserved better, especially now that my fate was now a blurry mess.  

What was I going to do now, though, knowing I could possibly be gone in two months? Did I really want to lure Harry in only to have any feelings he have for me be crushed when I died? The nausea that hit me made me jump up from bed, putting my head between my legs to try and breathe. This was too much. It couldn't all be happening now. Why was it? I wasn't a bad person; I was human of course I had made mistakes, but enough to give me this fate?

With all the questions running through my head, I knew one thing for certain. I had to end things with Harry, whatever they were. I couldn't let either of us get anymore sucked into this than we already were. It was my mess to fix and he didn't need to be a part of it.  I wasn't going to drag him down with me, knowing now that it was better to cut ties and save the heartache that either of us may feel.

I got up and grabbed the small blanket from the edge of my bed. When I walked into the living room I noticed that the lights were off on Harry's side, thankful that he wasn't around.

I looked at the reflection for a moment, thinking of the possibility of a future with Harry. I knew I was getting extremely ahead of myself, but that question of 'what if' played over and over again in my mind. I imaged a world where we beat fate and were somehow brought together.  We'd both have the memories of one another, and could start fresh and make new ones together. Maybe we would go out on a date and actually be physically there with one another.  Maybe that one date would turn into several, and months later we'd have something stronger than I could ever imagine.  I laughed at myself and how idiotic I sounded. There wasn't going to be a future.  At least not for me.  

I sighed, and with one last look, I gently placed the blanket over the mirror, preventing any contact with the man I couldn't stop thinking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so we wanted to let you know that these next few chapters are going to have quite a few time gaps between them. The story is only ten chapters and there is a lot to cover within them, as a result we kind of have to space out Harry and Louis' relationship. So don't be surprised if you see like "Three Weeks Later" at the start of each chapter:)
> 
> As always feel free to comment, we love reading what you have to say, from suggestions to criticism. Thanks for reading!


	6. Here With Me

Louis' POV: 

Tomorrow would be a week since I had last spoken to Harry. 

Maybe it was childish to avoid him like I had been doing, but I couldn't bare facing him.  I had too many thoughts running through my mind.  I didn't know who I was these last few days; I wouldn't say I was depressed, but I very closely resembled the walking dead.  I went to classes and still did my freelance, but everything seemed to be moving in slow motion; life was becoming this gray blur around me.  But how was I supposed to act now that I knew that in two months time I very well may not be here? 

I realized Harry was right, though; that I could change what was going to happen now that we knew about the break in, but the idea of my life being over in two months terrified me.  I was dead in Harry's time. Everything that I ever wanted in life was no longer a possibility or option for me.  I was just a ticking time bomb, waiting for the moment that it all ends- if it actually does.  That's what scared me the most; the uncertainty.  I knew that life was all about uncertainties and endless opportunities for things to happen, but hearing about my death made it all so much more real.  I tried to gain some solace in the fact that my death was no longer a permanent thing; I could prevent it. But with everything that had been going on these past few weeks, I also knew that anything could happen.  If I could change Harry and I meeting, then my death might change as well.  

It wasn't an easy task to ignore Harry. The more time that passed, the more I realized how much I missed him and our late night conversations, or the simple wave he'd give me before he'd walk out the door for work. We hadn't known one another long, but I still found myself wanting to rip the shield from the mirror just to get a glimpse of those forest green eyes and hear that smooth honey voice.  Thoughts of that night at the party had coursed through my mind.  I couldn't stop thinking about the way Harry kissed me; the soft touch of his lips, his warm body pressed against mine, the way he smelt of faded cologne and the cigarettes left over from the people around us. He made me feel a way that I hadn't expected. In those moments that we were together I felt so safe in his arms, and oddly free.  I didn't worry about anything but the taste of his tongue, or the way he'd gently run his thumb along my cheekbone.  

That entire afternoon I had spent with Harry, I found myself trying to study the little things about him.  How he'd run his fingers through his long hair when he was nervous.  How he'd bite his bottom lip when he was deep in thought.  More times than not I found myself staring a little too long into his deep green eyes, he'd simply smirk at me, revealing his large dimples.  I made sure to memorize the careful lines of the ink that was permanently sketched into his soft skin. He was beautiful, in more ways than one, and I wished I would have the chance to know him better.   

There was one night where I remembered faintly hearing his voice through the mirror. I was sitting on the couch, studying for an exam when I heard that familiar and distinct voice. I jumped up and cautiously approached the frame, making sure to the stay quiet so as not to suggest I was there. Sitting there knowing he was on the other side looking for me made my heart ache for reasons I didn't know.  Hearing the gentle tap on the glass followed by  a whispered,

"Louis?"

Then called again much louder.  I could here the worry in his voice.  All he'd see on his side was darkness. Maybe he'd think I was gone, or that whatever this thing was between us was actually over.  I wanted nothing more than to rip the blanket off the mirror and face Harry, but I wasn't ready; I couldn't. 

After that I didn't hear from him.  Both sides were silent.  I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not, but there were times when standing in front of the mirror that I could feel him on the other side.  He'd make no noise to suggest he was there, but I could sense it.  It was like this magnetic pull; he had this control over me that I didn't quite know how to explain. 

As the week went on, the acceptance of my death actually became both easier and harder.  The more I thought about it the more heartbroken I felt for my mother and sisters.  I wasn't ready to let them go just yet.  I tried to imagine how they were in the future, in Harry's time.  Were they still grieving? Or did time really heal all wounds? The night after Harry first told me the news I called my mom, wanting to hear the sound of her bright voice.  

_"Louis? Are you alright? It's late." She sounded through the speaker, raspy from being awoken from her slumber.  I hadn't realized how late it was, noting that the time was close to midnight.  I looked down at my hands, red from my nervous habit of wringing them together._

_"No, everything is alright. I'm sorry, I didn't realize the time. I just-" I stopped, trying to suppress the wave of emotion threatening to spill over.  She waited patiently on the other end, seeming to know to give me my space and not pry._

_"I just needed to hear your voice."_

_"Oh Lou, you don't know how good that makes me feel.  But what's wrong? You don't sound yourself. Is it school?" She asked, her voice concerned and quickly leaving behind any traces of sleep.  I didn't know what to say, though I certainly knew I couldn't tell her the truth._

_"Yeah, school's been a little stressful. Mid semester exams are coming up and it's been crazy trying to handle all of that and keep up with photography classes." I explained, only half exaggerating.  I had actually completely forgotten about exams until this moment, realizing now that I needed to pull myself together or my grades would soon suffer._

_I heard my mom sigh, practically envisioning her accepting blue eyes giving me that look that revealed how proud she was of me despite my worries._

_"Louis, you need to give yourself a break. It's your Senior year, and look how far you've come. You're a good student, your advisers love you, and on top of that you are one of the best photography students they have. Christ agencies are practically begging you to work for them after graduation." She finished, though part of me feared I wouldn't even make it to graduation.  I dismissed the thought, trying not to think of that while talking to my mom, knowing I wouldn't be able to handle keeping the panic out of my voice._

_"Thanks, mom.  I'll let you go, though. I feel bad for waking you."_

_"Don't ever apologize, I'm here for you regardless of the time. Is there anything else you want to talk about?" She questioned, though despite her assurance I could hear her yawning in the background.  I smiled._

_"I just love you. You know that, right?"_

_"Of course I do.  And I love you, more than you will ever know, Louis. No matter how old you get, you'll always be my little boy." Her voice was gentle and soothing, exactly what I needed to hear.  I hadn't noticed the tears brimming my eyelids until one slipped down my cheek.  I quickly brushed it away, taking a deep breath to compose myself.  This was how I would think of my mom; late night phone calls, picturing her tired eyes and affirmations of love.  I wouldn't think of her face finding my body in my apartment, or the way she'd feel burying her only son six feet under._

_"I know, mom.  Thank you for talking to me.  Go back to bed, I'll talk to you soon."_

_"Alright, sweet dreams, Lou"_

_"Goodnight, mom."_

 

I was broke out of my thoughts when my alarm went off, though I had already been awake for hours; watching the dark shadows of the night fade away with the rising sun.  

I took my time getting ready, not caring if I was a few minutes late. When I was showered and dressed, I threw on my black vans and grabbed my jean jacket and bag before heading out the door.  The fall air was only getting cooler as the days passed, but I didn't mind.  I had always loved Fall.  The leaves on the trees were now brilliant shades of reds and oranges, a few dancing along the pathways.  

When I reached campus, I headed towards the coffee shop, ordering my usual tea and bagel.  The shop was filled with students, all lost within their laptops and books, studying for our upcoming midterms; I really needed to plan a time to sit down and actually look at this last weeks classes.  I had been too lost in my thoughts to pay attention to what was being taught. 

I took a bite of my bagel and walked down the brick path to the main lecture hall for my class, bumping into a student passing by.  I hit them like a wall, knowing they were much larger than me without even having to look up.  

"Oops. I'm so sorry." They said, though I didn't bother to acknowledge them, too focused on the hot liquid burning my skin. 

"Shit" I mumbled, feeling the spilled tea on my white shirt.  I grabbed the beanie from my bag and used that to wipe off the increasingly worse, noticeable stain. I groaned and gave up, remembering the person in front of me. 

"Louis?" The voice softly called out.  My heart dropped, looking up to see Harry standing in front of me.  I was beginning to think that I really did piss God off. His noted long brown curls were tucked behind his ears, sunglasses resting at the top of his head.  His black knit sweater hung loosely on his lean frame, his black jeans were torn in the knee, and he wore his typical weathered brown boots.  I had forgotten how good looking he was, my memory of his voice and face not doing him justice; especially with those eyes that never failed to leave me staring into just a bit longer than necessary.

"Hi-uh I have to go." I mumbled out, trying to get around him. I made it to the stairs, only to feel a hand grip my arm and turn me around.  

"Why are you avoiding me?" He asked, a little more forcefully than his soft tone moments ago. His glasses fell slightly off his head with the force of his movement, leaving him to readjust them while trying to remain what I would assume to be intimidating, something that his boyish face betrayed.  

"I'm not. I've just been busy-studying for midterms." I lied.  He wasn't having it.  He took my arm and led me to a corner of the building so we were alone.  I tried not to focus on the way my skin tingled from his touch, or how I craved to have the taste of his full lips on my tongue, his warm body pressed against my own. I brushed the inappropriate thoughts away, looking him in the eye.  

"Look, Louis, I know I let things get too far last week, but you can't ignore me after what happened.  I'm sorry if I scared you off, but we need to talk about this." He actually thought this was his fault? If anything I should be apologizing to him. He was the one who had a girlfriend.  

"Harry I should be the one apologizing.  I shouldn't have kissed you, and I'm sorry.  Go back with Emma and we can forget that it ever happened." I said, looking up at him, his green eyes burning into mine. I knew that I couldn't forget what happened, and part of me believed he couldn't either.  Not after the way he looked at me, or held me, or kissed me with so much force it knocked me breathless.  There was no forgetting that type of connection. 

"Emma and I ended things." Harry clarified.  His face didn't hold the somber look most did after a break up.  He said the words as if he were answering a question in a lecture hall. 

"I know- why though?" I asked, though I already knew the reason.  Harry looked away, his face twisted in a mix of frustrations and, fear? Was he afraid to admit to me that he felt something between us too? If he only knew the thoughts that raced through my mind since the night we kissed.  Maybe then he wouldn't feel so afraid or embarrassed. 

After a minute he looked back at me, 

"It wouldn't have been right for me to continue in a relationship with her when I was questioning my feelings for someone else.  I couldn't lead her on." Harry said.  

"This is all my fault, if I hadn't kissed you everything would be okay. God, poor Emma." I said, feeling for the girl I had only known briefly.  

"Stop saying this was your fault, and I believe I was the one who kissed you, dammit." Harry said, a hint of anger in his voice.  He ran his fingers through his hair, making more tangles in his mess of brown curls. 

"Okay, fine, you kissed me. That doesn't mean anything. It was one kiss." I defended, knowing very well that it was a lie. 

"We both know that it was more than just a kiss, Louis.  I've never felt anything like that before, not even with Emma." He confessed.  I looked at him, shocked.  

"Maybe it was just me who feels it, but there's something between us Louis that I can't even explain.  Something keeps pulling me to you, and I hate that you have been avoiding me all week." His voice softened, making my heart race.  

"Harry I-" I started but was interrupted. 

"Look, nothing has to happen, but please don't avoid me anymore. I just want to know you, Louis. That's it. I'm not asking for anything but your friendship." The way he looked at me made me feel breathless, his eyes holding so much depth and passion. Part of my heart sank at his words, though; friendship. That was going to be difficult when all that replayed in my mind was that night at the party.  I could do it though.  I shouldn't, knowing very well my fate was a giant question mark, but seeing him here made me realize I couldn't stay away. He was right, there was something pulling him and I together.  I just couldn't let this get too far.  I didn't want to see him hurt if things went south and my fate did come true. 

"Okay. No more hiding." I said, watching a small smile appear on Harry's relieved face.  He surprised me by pulling me in to a tight embrace.  Time seemed to freeze in those brief moments when I could feel the warmth of his skin, smell the scent of his cologne, and the tickle of his curls on my cheek.  It was safe and comforting and left me more afraid than before; I knew that the more time I spent with him the deeper I would most likely fall into this mess.  That would be my problem, though, not his. 

"Thank you, that's all I'm asking for." He said pulling away, his boyish smile making everything else around us seem dull in comparison.  I could do this.  Harry and I could be friends, and I would defeat this fate that I had been destined to.  

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry's POV:

It had been one week since I had last spoken to Louis, and I was growing more anxious with each passing day. I couldn't help the guilt that washed over me, knowing very well that this was all my fault. 

I kissed Louis and I messed up whatever we had going for us.  I couldn't help myself though; it was this overpowering need to be close to him, to have his body pressed against mine, to see his face flush at my touch.  He was like this drug that I could not get enough of. I had never planned on kissing him, or even liking him, but after that night I knew I was hooked.  That's why I had such difficulty coming to terms with the fact that he may very well be gone. I didn't know what had happened that morning when I noticed my mirror had gone black; no signs of Louis or even my own reflection. I had called out to him, only to be met by silence.  It was killing me to know whether he was still there, or if this entire thing that we had between us was over.  How could it be, though? Just like that everything had disappeared? It made no sense, and I was beginning to go insane thinking of the endless possibilities as to why this was happening. 

At night I'd try and focus on my writing, but found myself replaying my conversations with Louis over and over again in my head; the first time we met, both past and present.  The football game and how he sat there amused by the reactions and behaviors of the crowds.  The night of the party and how with after just a few drinks he became an open book, telling me everything from his childhood to his hopes for the future.  What killed me though, was the fact that he no longer had a future; at least going by what I found about his death.  I knew that it wasn't a permanent thing, being that we now had warning of the break in, but that didn't help the uneasy feeling in my stomach.  We knew better than anyone that anything could happen when you least expected it, so who was to say that Louis' death could still be a very real possibility? 

I had only known this boy for a few weeks, but the thought of him not being there left this ache in my chest. He had so much to offer this world; he was too good and kind to have his life be taken away from him. He deserved all the love and possibilities that this world had to offer, and God knows I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that he got that.  The only way to overcome this fate was to ensure that he wasn't home the night of the break in; it seemed simple enough, but I still wasn't convinced that the odds were in our favor. Life didn't usually work out that way. 

I sighed and turned back to my current writing assignment that Mr. Jamieson had given to me.  It was the end of my second week here, and despite the lack of freedom and creativity, I was actually beginning to enjoy it.  Liam and I had gotten closer, spending more time getting to know one another over coffee and lunch breaks.  He was an English major at UMass as well, and had every intention of leaving Boston to work in a publishing house in New York City.  I envied him; there was nothing more that I wanted then to be a published writer, but I knew that I had to start small in order to get there. For now working at the newspaper sufficed and gave me the opportunity to get my work out to the public, though it was only articles on topics of very little interest. 

When I checked the clock I realized I had stayed overtime, getting too caught up in my thoughts.  I quickly emailed my piece to Mr. Jamieson, and shut down my computer.  Almost everyone had already left, leaving me to face the silent walk down the hallway and through the lobby.  The cool October air nipped at my skin, making me pull my jacket tighter.  I reached into my bag and grabbed out my car keys, turning the heat up once inside.  

The streets were filled with people coming in and out of shops and restaurants, a few stopping by the park to admire the beautiful trees that looked as though they were on fire against the setting sun.  I loved this time of year.  The fresh crisp air, the crunching of the leaves, the smell of pumpkin coffee coming from the various cafes along the streets.  Nothing compared to Fall in New England.  

When I reached my apartment I climbed the black stairwell, my stomach flipping in anticipation.  Despite the fact that nothing had changed in a week, every night when I came home I still hoped that I would see Louis' face within the mirror.  My face dropped when I noticed the empty black reflection.  I needed to stop living with that piece of hope; he wasn't coming back.  

I kicked off my shoes and threw my bag on the counter, walking to the bedroom to change out of my work clothes.  I grabbed my gray sweats from the drawer and ripped off my shirt, throwing it in the hamper.  With a look in the mirror I decided to pull my unruly hair up into a bun, realizing how badly I needed to get it cut.  My journal was tagged, leaving my unfinished poem right where I left it.  I grabbed it and headed into the living room, resting my feet up on the coffee table and adjusting the throw pillow to support my bad back.  

I sat there thinking, trying to find the words to finish the thoughts that plagued my mind: 

 **Drown in my heart and swim in my soul**   
**But whatever you do don't let me go**   
  
**I'm standing here on failing knees**   
**Hoping for the day you will set me free**   
  
**These lonely nights leave me cold and aching**   
**For things that I can only dream in my imagination**   
  
**About a time when you and I are not just a fantasy**   
**But two people who fall both fast and slowly**   
  
**I've sat here listing all the reasons**   
**About why these are just wasted feelings**   
  
**The one that leaves me haunted the most**   
**Is how the idea of us is like reaching for a ghost**   
  
**The reality that you are just out of reach**   
**Is a lesson that I should learn to preach**   
  
**I've been here too many times before**   
**You're nothing but another nail in the door**   
  
**Yet here I am once again**   
**Waiting for the chance to be given**

**I’m just reaching for a ghost**

I was beginning to notice a theme to my writing, realizing how depressing it actually was. What concerned me most was that I wasn't sure the reasoning behind the poem; was this just another outlet for the way I felt about love and life? Or was it the boy with the blue eyes that left me wanting more? I sighed and closed the book, suddenly hit with a new string of memories. ****

***

_I looked down at Louis, noticing him nervously biting on his lip.  I quickly dismissed the thoughts of what it'd be like to kiss him right now._

_"Okay. No more hiding." He finally said, making me smile.  I had hoped he would say that.  I knew what had happened that night of the party came as a surprise to both of us, but it_ _bothered me all week that he was avoiding me. This was something that we needed to talk out and decide what that kiss meant; or if it even had any meaning.  I knew that for me it did._

_I hadn't intended to pull him into my arms in that moment, but it was as if I was being driven by an unknown force; one that ached to feel him close to me to make sure he was really there.  It was brief, but it was all the confirmation that I needed to validate my thoughts over this last week.  I was attracted to this man who smelled oddly like cinnamon and the autumn leaves. It was strange, as I didn't know sunshine had a smell, but I was enticed and comforted all the same._

_"Thank you, that's all I'm asking for."  I said breaking away, smiling more than I probably should.  I was eager to begin this friendship with the man who left me with more questions than answers.  Know that I knew he wouldn't be avoiding me any longer, I had hoped that would change._

_***_

The image of that day was so clear in my mind.  I remembered the relief that washed over me when Louis agreed to stop ignoring me, the way I couldn't help but smile throughout the rest of the day at the thought of getting to spend more time with him.  I was completely smitten by him, and I didn't care if the feeling wasn't mutual. 

I needed to talk to Louis.  He couldn't hide from me anymore. I wasn't even sure if he was still there, but I had to try.  Running over to the mirror, I prayed he was there listening on the other side.  I banged on its surface, though careful not to break the glass.  

"Louis! I know you're there. Answer me, please. We need to talk." I called out, my voice earnest and determined.  

No response. 

"Louis, please, I'm begging you. Don't ignore me, I deserve to know what's going on. You can't just keep making these new memories with me and not expect me to react or have questions." I explained further.  Finally there was a shift in the reflection.  The black image was ripped away and in place was a tired looking Louis.  His hair was disheveled, his face no longer the clean shaven one I was used to seeing. It had been what seemed like months since I had seen those eyes, infinite pools of blue that I could swim in for days.  

"What do you want, Harry?" He asked, throwing the blanket on the couch and stepping closer to the mirror. So he had been avoiding me.  At least I knew he wasn't gone forever, and that I still had a shot at keeping our unconventional relationship going.  

"I want to talk. What is going on, Lou?" 

"What do you mean? Nothing is going on." He defended, though I could tell he knew exactly what I was talking about. I decided to humor him.    

"You've been avoiding me, and don't deny it.  The blanket you had covering the mirror is proof of it." I said, joking lightly.  Louis sighed and pulled up a chair.  

"Look, I was being a little childish, I admit, but it wasn't without reason."

"And what reason was that?" I asked, honestly intrigued and slightly frustrated as to why he would purposely ignore me, especially after our kiss and the news about his death that followed.  

"I have no idea what is going on with us, Harry. I mean we kissed, and then you told me that I was going to be dead in two months.  How was I supposed to react? I needed time to think, and I thought it'd be best if we stopped speaking.  What would the point be if I was going to be gone soon." Louis said, and I could hear the defeat in his voice.  

"Why didn't you talk to me about this? I told you I was going to be here for you.  This isn't something that you should be facing alone." I responded, growing increasingly annoyed. I had no right to feel this way.  It was his life and what he chose to do with it was his business, but now that I was a part of it, even in a small way, I deserved some answers.

"And what exactly were you planning on doing?" He asked, chuckling, before continuing.

"Jump through the glass and save me? We're stuck, Harry. We have no idea what is going to happen, and we can't control it either way. Besides it wouldn't be fair to you if I stuck around, only to leave you with the memories of whatever this was." Louis explained honestly.  I hadn't expected him to say all of that.  He was really worried about me, after everything he had been going through?  My annoyance changed to despair and sympathy.  I couldn't imagine what he was going through, but I also knew that if we were careful and planned around the break in, then he could cheat death this time and live a long and happy life. 

"Let me decide what's best for me." I started, breaking away from his gaze to look at the black and white photographs that Louis had showcased that night.  When I returned my eyes to his after a moment, his were filled with concern.  

"I have a theory" I said after a moment of silence. He looked at me curious, and what appeared to be slightly amused.  

"A theory about what?" 

"About all of this" I started, waving my hand around, 

"-about you and me and why this is happening between us." 

"And what is your theory? I have to admit I'm very intrigued by how you could think there is a logical rationale to our situation." He mused, smirking slightly.  I rolled my eyes and continued. 

" What if you weren't meant to die that day? What if this is your second chance to defeat death and we were brought together to try and prevent it from happening? It seems crazy, I know, but I really do think things will work out, Lou. There has to be a reason for all of this, and I think it was to save you." I explained.  In saying those words I grew to believe them more and more.  Any doubts I had before about life not working out began to vanish.  We were going to save, Louis, and I had a new hope for the future.  I only prayed Louis felt the same. 

"So does that make you my savior, then, Harry?" Louis asked teasing. I laughed and shook my head, 

"No, but I'm serious about making this work.  I'm going to be there for you, regardless of if you want me there." I said, before breaking off to look away. 

"I don't want you to stay away from me anymore, Louis." I then admitted, not realizing the words until they were already out of my mouth.  He gave me a small smile. 

"Then I won't." 


	7. Is This Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so this is where you're going to start seeing time jumps; this one is three weeks after the previous chapter. As you'll see, Harry and Louis' relationship is starting to grow, so if it seems weird after such a short time, remember its been several weeks that have passed. Hope you enjoy:)

Louis' POV

The changes I had begun to see in Harry these last three weeks were subtle, but they were there. It worried me what rewriting his past was doing to his future, but all that seemed to be changing was his behaviors and feelings towards me. I could tell by the way he'd become more comfortable around me, like we had been friends for years. Or the way he'd look at me when we'd talk through the mirror before bed at night. I was slowly starting to see him unwind and lose that protective shell that kept people away, afraid to let them too close. He seemed more at ease and carefree each time we spoke. I'd watch him throw his head back and laugh, and see the bright curiosity in his eyes. We had grown closer than I had expected, but there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't find myself learning something new about him.  He was like this never ending mystery and I was getting a piece of a picture each day.  

I could feel myself changing too. Harry made me different, a better person. Whether I was talking to him through the mirror, or hanging out with him after classes I found myself happier and eager to see him again. Going to lectures became less of a drag because I knew I'd see him throughout the day while on campus.  Photography became more exciting, which I hadn't known was possible, because I was able to share my photos and experiences with Harry.  At times there would be something I'd see that would remind me of him and I'd have to capture the image forever. The way this green eyed boy made me feel was something I had never experienced with anyone else. He calmed me, yet excited me at the same time. He made me feel accepted and safe. I could be myself with him without fear of judgement or criticism. Harry was the kindest soul I had ever met.

Everyday I was exposed to a new part of him and his quirks; like how he had an odd sense of humor and would make a fool out of himself just to see another person smile. Or how I'd catch him randomly singing to himself when he thought I wasn't paying attention. I remembered the first night I went to his dorm to hang out, I walked in on him dancing around the small space, too long limbs making his actions clumsy.  He was far more than this quiet, thoughtful writer that I had first assumed him to be.  

What took me by surprise over these week was the realization that I was beginning to fall for him. This beautiful, kindhearted, goofy boy was slowly capturing every piece of my heart and I couldn't stop it. As much as I tried to convince myself that I shouldn't be feeling this way towards him, it was out of my control.  I knew that my fate was still to be determined, and December 21 was quickly approaching, but Harry made all of that seem insignificant.  All I wanted was to be near him and his gentle soul. Right now nothing else mattered but the way he made me feel. I was eager to find out how Harry felt. I could tell that something was there, but I wasn't sure how far those feelings were.

While we had spent several days and nights together, nothing had been official. We usually spent time in his dorm where I'd listen to him brainstorm about his English assignments, or he'd help me edit my photographs for upcoming showcases. There were days where we would have lunch together between classes, and weekends where I'd spend the night and we'd go out and spoil ourselves with breakfast before walking around town looking for images to capture. Everything was so simple and relaxed that being with him became second nature. Even talking to Harry back through the mirror suddenly became an everyday routine. What was once an impossible reality to try to accept, was now an act of normalcy to us.

Harry would explain to me the new memories that would flash through his mind everyday. I was worried that they were affecting his life, but he assured me that wasn't the case. He said they would randomly hit him, the feeling exactly like if he was remembering a normal memory from his childhood or college years. The thing that made the memory different was that he had actually never experienced them before that moment. We would sit there at night and reminisce, reflecting on the moments we shared together. He'd laugh at the memories of us getting kicked out of the art exhibit I was supposed to be surveying, for being too loud.  I'd watch as his eyes would go soft while he talked about the nights where we would sit on his bed while he read and I pretended to pay attention to the show on TV.  Somehow we always ended up pressed close to one another's sides, not realizing until I could feel the warmth of his body against mine, almost like an electricity between us.  

I looked up at the clock and saw that my class had only a few minutes left. I waited impatiently for my professor to wrap up his lecture, wanting to be on time for my meeting with Harry. Our class schedules were very different, which made it difficult at times to see one another between them, but luckily Thursday's allowed us the chance to spend lunch together.

When the professor dismissed his lecture, I got up and dodged the small crowd of students walking into the building, scanning the courtyard for his familiar face. He found me first, breaking into a dimpled smile and waving me over. I couldn't help the nervous feeling in my stomach when I saw him. His curls were messier than usual today, and were held back with a pair of sunglasses, making them a wild halo around his face. He wore his signature ripped black jeans and black boots, his large sweater covered in a brown, black and dark green design.  I had never seen that sweater before, but was quite fond of him in it.  

"Hey, how was class?" He asked, taking a seat at the small picnic table under a tree. I followed his actions, taking the bag of chips and soda I packed from out of my bag.  I watched as Harry set down his large iced coffee and opened a container which consisted of a green wrap stuffed with some type of vegetables and meat.  

"Same old same old. You?"

"Nothing special. I have so much reading to do though. The joys of being an English major." Harry said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and took a bite of a chip.

"What kind of lunch is that?" He continued, eyeing my meal, or lack thereof, in front of me.  I realized this probably wasn't the healthiest of things to be eating, but I was limited on a college students budget while paying for rent.  I lived off of shitty snack foods and quick drinks, while Harry spent more time watching what he ate and trying out a wide variety of meal options; another quirk I noticed about him.

"There is nothing wrong with my lunch, I'm sorry I don't have the time or energy to make elaborate things like you're about to eat." I said, though I had to admit it looked quite appetizing.  He smiled and looked down at his container.

"It's a spinach wrap. Simple and easy to make, and far better than a bag of Salt Vinegar chips.  Here take the other half.  You need to eat actual food." Harry said, offering me the green object.  I thanked him and took a small bite, noting that I would need to start making these myself.  He seemed content with my reaction and followed my actions, taking a much larger bite, resulting in a portion of its contents spilling out the other end.  He groaned and wiped it off his black jeans, making me laugh. Harry's clumsiness was something that I found endearing. He was so perfect in everything he did that it was nice to know he was actually human and had his flaws, though they only made me love him more. 

"So do you have any plans for tonight?" He asked, shoving his sunglasses that were slipping back up on his head, giving me a better view of his face. I looked away, realizing I was staring a little too long.

"Uhm- no not really. I mean I haven't gotten the chance to take photos in a a few days so I might go out into town." In all honesty I haven't been getting much of anything done. I was always either with Harry, or talking to him through the mirror. I wasn't complaining, I'd never let him leave my side if I had a say in the matter, but I was realizing that I needed to start getting a better handle on things.

"Can I come with you?" Harry asked shyly. I smiled at his hesitancy.   

"Why? It's nothing very exciting." I said, feeling the burn of my soda as it slid down my throat. 

"I happen to think you're an amazing photographer, and I love to see you in action." He said, making me chuckle.

"Oh you do, now? Well then maybe my plans will have to change, and I'll have to bring you back to my place." I winked, offering him a playful smirk. He flushed and looked at me shocked. Despite my teasing, the thought of Harry and I being that close again made my stomach twist in knots.  The night of the party was over a month ago and the two of us hadn't done anything remotely close to that since.  

"I didn't mean it that way you perv." He defended, blushing, though I couldn't help but notice the excitement burning in his eyes.  Did he have the same thoughts going through his mind that I did? 

"I know, I just love teasing you." 

"So is that a yes?" Harry asked after a minute.

"I suppose it is." I agreed, realizing it may be fun to have another set of eyes with me, though in the past when Harry would come I would most likely end up taking photos of him when he wasn't looking. 

"Great. It's a date." He smiled widely, dimples on full display.  

"A date." I confirmed, my stomach churning in excitement and anticipation. We had never really defined what we were yet, so I was unsure of what a 'date' meant in this context, but I couldn't help but let my mind wander to an endless stream of possibilities and scenarios. 

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"Smile" I said, aiming my camera at Harry who sported his tan jacket and green beanie. His long hair curled around his face which was rosy from the cool November air. It was the perfect timing for a photo; he was mid laugh, his head thrown back, his large dimples showing. I snapped the picture, opting to use the Polaroid my mother had given me as a Christmas gift two years back. I waited as the film slid out.

"You're not supposed to be taking pictures of me! You're supposed to be a very serious artist" Harry said smirking. He walked over to stand beside me, close enough for me to feel his breath on my neck and smell his faded cologne. My pulse quickened. 

"I couldn't help it, you're just so photogenic." I replied, taking the picture out to admire the beautiful boy it captured. Looking at the photo you couldn't help but smile, almost hearing his goofy laugh in my mind.  

"See, perfect." I handed the thin material over to Harry. He scrunched his nose in disgust, giving it back to me.

"Definitely not a keeper."

"It is to me. Maybe I'll sneak it in to one of my showcases." With the amount of photos I had of him, the thought had crossed my mind before. 

"You wouldn't dare." Harry countered, his eyes narrowing. I laughed.

"Wouldn't I?" I asked, aiming the camera at him once again. He walked towards me as I snapped the photo, not hesitating to take another.

"Louis, give me the camera." He said, attempting to sound threatening but his smile ruining it.

"I'll do no such thing." Click.

"Louis."

Click.

I laughed as the photos fell to the ground, each starting to come into focus. Harry's paced quickened, leaving me to take larger steps backwards.  Just as he was about to reach me I tripped over a soccer ball that a group of kids had rolled our way. I grunted as I hit the cool grass, Harry's large body collapsing on top of me. His legs tangled with mine, his arms sprawled on either side of my head.  I could feel his warm minty breath against my cheek, his curls tickling my neck.  

"Sorry!" A boy shouted, grabbing his ball from besides us and running away. I looked up to see Harry staring at me, his face inches from mine.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his voice low. For a moment I thought he was going to kiss me, his green eyes scanned my own slowly, then lingered on my mouth. His tongue darted out to lick his lips, before biting the bottom one with his teeth. After a moment he blinked, then mumbled out a quick apology before rolling off of me and lying with his back against the grass.

"I'm fine. Damaged my pride a bit, but nothing too serious." I said, trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. I hadn't been this close to Harry since the night we first kissed. It seemed like so long ago, though now I wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against mine once again.

I reached over for my camera, which was a thrown a few feet from where we landed. Once it was back in my hands, I rolled myself closer besides Harry, sealing the distance between us.  

"What are you doing?" He asked, looking at me confused.

"I want a photo of us together. Something for you to remember me by"

"Are you planning on going somewhere?" Harry asked slightly amused. I wasn't sure how to answer that. Of course I didn't plan on leaving Harry by my own free will, but December 21 wasn't going to disappear, and I wasn't completely sure if I'd still be here. Harry would always reassure me at night when we'd talk through the mirror that nothing was going to happen: we were prepared and could prevent the attack from happening. I was still skeptical, though I tried to dismiss the thoughts and pull my attention back to the beautiful boy laying next to me. 

"No, but you never know what could happen. I could get sick of your ass and never see you again." I said teasing.

"You could never get sick of me. I have you wrapped around my finger" Harry said confidently, seeming to know my thoughts.  I laughed at his cockiness.  

"So sure of yourself, Styles. Though I have to admit you're probably right. I blame your charm." He rolled his eyes and took the camera from my hands, aiming it at us. I pressed my cheek to his, trying to ignore the way his cool skin made mine tingle and heart race.  

"Ready? 3, 2, 1.." Click. The camera whizzed and slowly sent the photograph out. Harry took it, fanning it gently while it cleared. After a moment our faces came into focus. Harry looked as handsome as ever, even with his messy curls around his face. His green eyes shined as he smiled, his cheeks covered by laugh lines and dimples. I was surprised by my face though. I was never a really photogenic person, always avoiding being the target of pictures. In this one though, I looked genuinely happy. My smile so wide it made crinkles by my eyes.

"Now this one is a keeper." Harry said, turning to face me.

"I think so too." I agreed, handing him the photo once more. He looked at it for another second before sitting up from the ground. I followed his actions, bringing my knees to my chest. Harry sat deep in thought, his face the opposite of what the photo showed.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, concerned by his apparent change of attitude.

He nodded, though his eyes said otherwise. 

"I just-"

"What?" I asked, scooting around so I was facing him. I reached down to grab his chin, gently lifting it so he would look me in the eyes. He smiled softly.

"I'm fine, I promise." He chuckled nervously.  

"I beg to differ." I continued, my hand still on his chin. I dropped it, realizing my actions. He seemed to notice and grabbed my hand that had fallen to my lap, raising it to touch his cheek. He rested his face against it, my hand warm and burning from the contact.

"What are you doing to me, Lou?" Harry whispered, asking the same question he did the night of the party. His voice was deep and left me aching to close the distance that seemed endless between us these last few weeks.  

"You've said that before." I replied, my voice shaky and breathless.

"It's true. I thought I had everything figured out, and then you came along and changed everything. It's so scary, but exciting at the same time.. I've never felt this way about anyone before." He confessed, not leaving my gaze.  

"And what way is that?" I asked, wondering if he could even hear my low voice. He didn't say anything, instead he leaned forward slowly, never breaking eye contact. My heart raced, my breathing hitched. His hand reached up and touched my cheek, gently bringing his fingers in my hair.

Harry stopped an inch before my face, seeming to gauge my reaction. The green in his eyes was being over taken by the darkness of his pupils; he really did want this as badly as I did.  It wasn't about sex or getting the satisfaction that it offered; it was about being connected to him in a way that was more than just talking through a mirror or spending afternoons together.  I needed to kiss him to have that confirmation that this incredible person was real and he was here in front of me.  I needed to have that fire in my veins that I craved from simple act of having his mouth against my own.  I needed to show this man how much he meant to me, if only for a moment. I closed my eyes and leaned forward, finally bringing his lips to mine once again. The energy I felt coursing throughout my body was indescribable. His lips moved against mine in perfect synchronization. I reached up and grabbed his face, bringing him closer against me. He moaned before pulling back, looking at me wide eyed and flushed.

"I'm so sorry, Harry." I quickly rushed out, realizing I once again got ahead of myself. He looked at me softly,

"Don't ever apologize, Lou. I've been wanting to do that for so long now." Harry confessed. I looked at him with both surprise and confusion.

"You have?"

He nodded,

"I have. And I plan on doing it a lot more." My heart stopped as he smirked and leaned forward once again, returning his mouth to mine.   
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Harry's POV

I stared up at the ceiling, watching the dark shadows come and go with the headlights of the passing cars. Sleep was something that wasn't my friend most nights, despite the exhaustion that plagued my body. How could I sleep though after getting these new memories of Louis and I?

The flashes of images I'd get had become a daily routine for me now. What once surprised and confused me, had now left me wanting more. The faded glimpses that I would get only made me realize that Louis was something of the past. I may never get to actually meet him in my time. Everyday something new would happen between us, and it made my feelings for him grow deeper. Each night he'd come home to talk about classes, and photography, and spending time with me, all making me want nothing more than to be there by his side to actually experience these memories. I'd sit there lost in a world filled with images of Louis intensely studying a piece for his photography class, days where we'd spend hours in the park watching the hundred of people pass by, and nights of late conversations that I committed to memory. 

We had spent so much time together, both past and present, that I was realizing that I was falling for him. It was something that I had never expected, especially being that I had once thought I was in love with Emma. But my feelings for Louis only proved that I was clueless as to what love was before. I knew now, as crazy as that sounded, considering he was nothing but a reflection in a mirror. Those feelings of loneliness that tormented my mind and heart at night were slowly being dismissed by the man with the blue eyes who filled me with a new hope. 

I was in love with Louis: with his kind heart that deserved only the best the world had to offer, with the way he had to have his cup of tea before bed while we talked. I loved the way he laughed, especially at times when he really found something funny and would cover his mouth up as if to hide his beautiful smile, causing crinkles by his eyes to appear. I loved his passion for photography and how he would sit there for hours describing the pictures he had taken and the meanings they had to him. He was incredible and I was lucky enough to have a second chance at meeting him.

Fate had a funny way of working things out, though. While I was relishing in the new memories that had now been permanently stored in my mind, I also now had to come to the realization that Louis was dead in my time. I had to grieve the one that I was beginning to care for most. I may be there with Louis in the past, but I may never get the chance to meet him today. I often wondered what would happen if he was here now. Where would we be?  We would have known one another for over a year, we would have been there to watch one another graduate and move on to bigger things.  Would he have taken an agency up on their offer and be working as a professional? Or would he have moved away to travel the world like he always said he had wanted? Part of me wondered if I would be a part of his plans, and if we would end up living together in this small apartment. 

I imagined us coming home from work, making dinner and sitting on the couch at night while Louis reluctantly let me catch up on the episodes of my favorite show, which I knew he secretly enjoyed as well. We would describe our day to each other and everything that had happened when he wasn't around, before finally falling asleep in each other's arms, only to be greeted by his handsome face once again in the morning. I knew I was getting a head of myself, as I was unsure of how Louis truly felt.  But with the way he'd look at me, or the times I'd catch him staring when he'd think I wasn't paying attention, I hoped he felt something.  The thought made me smile. That's all it was though; a thought. Until December 21 passed we wouldn't know what the future would hold.

I had faith though, believing that we would be able to prevent this break in from happening, or at least Louis' involvement in it. We'd make sure he wasn't home during the incident, and everything would be fine. He'd be alive and well and hopefully by my side.

I turned over, staring at the picture frame that I had noticed on my bedside table when I entered the room. I don't ever remember it being there before, but when I picked it up and saw the photo I could recall the day perfectly. It was of Louis and I lying on the grass, both smiling wide. We had spent the afternoon taking pictures in the park, messing around before I kissed him again. I don't know why I decided to do it then, but I did know that I had been wanting to do it for a while. Each time Louis would look at me or stand a little too close I'd have the urge to take his face in my hands and bring his lips to mine. I was never sure if that's what he wanted though. I knew how I felt, but I wasn't sure what extent Louis' feelings were. His blue eyes were not hard to read, and I'd see so much admiration and desire in them though I knew I didn't deserve it. What Louis deserved was the world, and I couldn't even offer him a piece of it.

I sighed and closed my eyes, praying the sleep would take over my restless mind.


	8. Sleep Baby Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, we hope you all have a Merry Christmas! Enjoy your holiday and this chapter, only two more left :)

Louis' POV

I watched as the rising sun cast shadows across the bare back of the sleeping boy besides me. I felt the warmth of his body as he stirred in his sleep, mumbling out a few incoherent words. His face was relaxed, making him look so young and innocent, his hair falling in soft dark waves across the pillow. Even in his sleep he was perfect. I could definitely get used to waking up to him every morning. With the way he'd gently hold my hand in his while I had my arm wrapped around his waist; he claimed he preferred being little spoon, which was certainly an experience for me considering I was a lot smaller and usually the one filling that place. It was oddly comforting though, holding him close to my chest, watching the rise and fall of his body as his breaths would even out. 

It had been three weeks since that day in the park, and Harry and I's relationship had only grown stronger.  Everyday I fell deeper and deeper in love with him, and I knew that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.  I felt as though I had known him all my life, and despite the few months we had known each other I knew I didn't want anyone else; Harry was it. He claimed my heart and there was no turning back. 

We didn't make a habit out of sleeping at my apartment, but we were both way too drunk last night and there was no way I was letting Harry drive back to his dorm.  We stumbled from the bar down the street back to my apartment, both using one another for support.  I had to admit that drunk Harry had a special place in my heart as he clung to my arm and leaned his face into my neck, planting soft kisses against my skin. 

_"Kiss me you fool" He said laughing, grabbing my face and looking me in the eyes, his own glossy and taunting.  I smirked, bringing my lips to his. I didn't expect the kiss to go much further, until I realized Harry had me backed up to the brick wall outside my building.  I stood up on my toes, knotting my fingers in his tangled curls, as he tightened his grip on my waist._

_I broke away reluctantly,_

_"Okay, I think it's time for us to go up" I said, though my body was telling me otherwise as Harry ran his tongue along my neck sending chills down my spine. He was such a fucking tease and I loved every part of it.  While our physical relationship was quickly heightening, we had yet to have sex.  It definitely wasn't without effort or temptations, however. There wasn't a kiss or touch that went by that didn't leave me wanting more.  I knew that Harry had never been with a man before, and I didn't want to rush him, though judging by his behavior tonight I don't think he'd mind if I followed through with my thoughts._

_"I could take you right here" He growled, making my heart skip a beat. I pulled away to look him in the eyes which were blown out and filled with such lust it sent my heart into a frenzy.  I craved to be closer to him and see Harry in his most vulnerable state.  I took a deep breath trying to dismiss the thoughts and focus on the very drunk and extremely frisky man in front of me who was attempting to unbutton my pants._

_"Where is this coming from? I need to get you drunk more often." I sighed into his neck as his hands traveled lower, gripping me where I needed him most._

_"You have no idea how badly I've been wanting you, Lou." His breath hot against my mouth.  I returned my lips to his, momentarily losing all reasoning as to why this was not a good idea.  I gripped his collar tightly, forcing his forward to deepen the kiss._

_"No, no we can't.  We're drunk and will regret this tomorrow." I said quickly, pressing my hands against his chest allowing me to see his face fully. I needed to stop before it was too late.  There was only so much will power and self control this man could exhibit in one day._

_"The only thing I regret is not doing this sooner. You look so fucking good in those jeans, Lou, I've fantasized about that ass of yours." Harry said, stumbling forward slightly. I tried to ignore the way his remarks heightened the increasingly worse issue in my pants, and grabbed his arm to steady him._

_"Let's get you up to bed." He groaned in protest but followed my lead._

_When we finally managed to get up the stairs and through the door, Harry immediately kicked off his shoes and removed both his jacket and shirt, throwing them onto the floor._

_"Are you going to strip for me now, Harry?" I asked, only half teasing.  He gave me a smirk and winked, undoing his belt and tossing it to the couch.  It missed but he didn't seem to notice._

_"Like you wouldn't want a show." I gulped, trying not to watch as his hands moved sinfully slow against his pant zipper, sliding them down to reveal tight black boxer briefs which revealed his growing bulge._

_"You can look but you can't touch. That'll cost you, Mr. Tomlinson." Harry said, his voice low and deeper from the alcohol. He turned and sauntered into my bedroom, throwing me a smile and laugh as he disappeared around the corner._

_Oh God, please give me the power to resist this beautiful and tempting creature in front of me.  I could do this. All I had to do was think of nonsexual things; things that disgusted me.  Like my grandparents having sex, or tuna fish sandwiches._

_I followed after Harry, who was now laying sprawled across the bed, hands behind his head.  I prayed even harder looking him over like this, completely open and willing to let me do what I had dreamed about for weeks now. His curls were a wild halo around his head, his eyes flaming emeralds that scanned me over as I hesitantly walked over to the foot of the bed.  He was both heaven and a sin, and I couldn't tell which I wanted to be a part of more._

_"Come lay with me, Lou. Though I can't promise I won't bite." He said, and I laughed nervously, though complied to his request. I kicked off my shoes and crawled up beside him, resting my head against his chest.  Harry surprised me by wrapping his arm around me gently, the other running his fingers through my hair.  The act calmed me down and would have put me to sleep if I wasn't overly aware of the nearly naked man below me.  He didn't say anything for a while, and for a moment I would have thought he had fallen asleep if it weren't for his fingertips still grazing my face._

_"Why do you think my dad hated us so much?" Harry spoke, his words slow and tired.  They surprised me and I looked up at him to see his eyes were suddenly filled with sorrow and haunted memories.  I tried to find a way to answer him, but thinking of this young boy afraid of his father and caring for his mother only left me heartbroken._

_"I don't think he hated you, Harry. He just had issues and addictions and took them out on your family."_

_"I feel like I could have done so much more.  Maybe if I was a better son he wouldn't have felt the need to drink so often.  Maybe he would have stayed and straightened out." He continued.  Did he really believe what he was saying?_

_"Don't ever think that you were to blame for your father's actions.  You did everything you could to be there for you mom and sister, Harry.  I couldn't even imagine what you felt and went through.  You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, and you're dad made a big mistake walking out and missing you grow into such an incredible man." I explained, hoping he'd find some solace in my words.  I knew there was no way I could ever make up for the pain his father caused him, but Harry had to know that he went above and beyond what another person would have done to care for his family.  He was just a boy thrust into the role of the man of the house, and I admired him for his love and dedication to his mother and sister._

_"Awh you think I'm incredible? Does little Louis have a crush on me?" Harry teased, his emotions seeming to be a roller coaster tonight. I chuckled at his change in mood, and ducked my head into his chest._

_"Someone is awfully full of them self when they drink." Though I found his behavior quite adorable.  He rolled his eyes, and reached down to grip my pants._

_"I'd rather be full of something else, if I'm being honest."_

_I yelped and swatted his hand away, heat flushing across my body at his actions.  This boy was going to be the death of me._

_"Watch those wandering hands of yours, Sparky. I know I'm tempting, but try to have some self control." I responded._

_"That's the thing, though, Louis.  I don't have any self control when it comes to you. You drive me wild, and not just in a sexual way" Harry winked then continued.  He took my hand in his and placed it on his chest, patting it before letting his own fall on top._

_"I've never felt this way before."_

_"Do you ever think we're moving too fast?" I asked, honestly.  We had known one another for over two months now, and my death date was just weeks away, but I knew that I was supposed to spend whatever time I had with Harry.  I didn't care if we were getting ahead of ourselves, I was completely and truly invested in this man._

_"No, I think that if people are meant to be with one another, then nothing can keep them apart.  Why fight something that we can't control." He explained, eyes closed like he had stated a simple fact and not that he thought we were meant to be._

_"So you believe in fate?"_

_"I do." Harry sung out, tracing designs across my arm.  I smiled into my arm, though I know he couldn't see me.  The thought of a life with him made my mind race and heart ache for something that seemed just out of reach.  I decided not to press the conversation further, realizing that Harry was very close to sleep.  I removed myself from his embrace, which earned a whine from his lips, and shut off the beside light and remove my shirt and jeans.  Once I was left in my boxers I pulled the blankets down and led Harry underneath them. Almost out of habit, he turned on his side and I wrapped my arms around his much larger body.  I sighed into him, nuzzling my face in his soft tangled curls._

_"Goodnight, Harry." I said, kissing his shoulder.  He moaned out a response and pulled me closer.  Moments passed in silence until he muttered out a simple three words that left me speechless, and questioning if I had heard him correctly._

_"Love you, Lou."_

_***_

"Why are you awake?" Harry mumbled out groggily, eyes still closed, breaking me from my thoughts.  

"I couldn't sleep."

"Come here" He said, turning on his side and bringing me close to him, my head buried in his warm chest.  He rubbed his thumb in circles gently against my back, the small act of affection soothing me.  I had thought he had fallen back to sleep, not saying anything for several minutes.

"What's on today's agenda?" His raspy voice broke the silence.

"I made plans to have lunch with my mom. I haven't seen her in a while and she hasn't let me forget it." I said, tracing the outlines of Harry's tattoos along his chest.  He shuddered under my touch. 

"You could come with me. My mom has been dying to meet you." I added, my voice low, unsure of how he'd react to my suggestion.  I had talked to my mom about Harry and I, and she was ecstatic.  She practically had our wedding planned and children named. 

"You'd want me too?" Harry asked, surprise evident in his voice.

"Of course. Only if you wanted though. I don't want you to feel obligated, my mother can be quite a handful at times."

"No, I'd love to meet her." Harry said sincerely, pulling my face up by my chin with a gentle finger.  He smiled softly and brought his mouth down to mine for a peck. 

"How are you feeling this morning? You were only  _slightly_ intoxicated last night."    _And told me that you loved me,_ I thought to myself.  He groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. 

"Was I that bad? I remember lots of shots and..taking off my clothes. Oh God did we..?" He asked, eyes wide, looking at me for an answer.  I couldn't decide how I should feel from his panicked voice at the thought of us having had sex, but brushed it aside. 

"No, we did not, though you are quite bold and frisky when you're drunk. Can't say that I minded, especially that little strip show you gave me." I winked, Harry's cheeks flushed. 

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry. I'm not usually that bad, I don't know what got into me." 

"Nothing got into you, so don't worry."

Harry barked out a loud laugh and covered his mouth before muttering, 

"Pervert."

I smiled and sat up, my body missing the warmth of Harry's next to mine.

"We better shower and make ourselves somewhat presentable then. I reek of beer and cigarette smoke." I said, pushing the covers off of me to walk to my dresser.  I pulled out a pair of black jeans, and long sleeved white shirt.

"You can go first, I'll go get the coffee pot going." He nodded and slid out of bed, stretching his long limbs before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.  I heard the water start up, and with it his loud voice singing his current favorite song that he had played repeatedly throughout the week.  While he was in there I quickly checked the mirror, making sure future Harry was no where to be seen.  In talking to him through the mirror at night we'd agreed that if I was ever to bring past Harry over to the apartment, that he would stay away from the reflection, not wanting to risk him seeing something he shouldn't.  It'd be far to complicated for me to ever explain it to _my_ Harry, with future Harry looking through the mirror. 

When I went back into the bedroom he had just gotten out of the shower and I caught my breath.  A towel hung loosely on his hips, leaving little to my imagination.  I watched the way the water that he had yet to dry off dipped along his toned stomach and chest,  his hair was nearly black and fell in waves to his shoulders.  He ran his fingers through it, revealing his slightly flushed face.  

"You alright?" Harry asked, a small smile playing on his lips.  He knew exactly what he was doing, and it made my stomach flutter.

"Uh- yeah, sorry. I'll be out in a few minutes. Make yourself at home, there's coffee starting in the pot." I said, grabbing my clothes and walking to the bathroom.  I quickly went through my shower routine, not wanting to leave Harry out there alone for long.  I was worried he'd look through the mirror and see his own, yet slightly older, reflection. 

Once I was dressed, I saw that Harry had poured himself a cup of coffee and was sitting at the counter, now in just his boxers.  He pulled his wet hair up into a bun, and sipped his mug, staring off into space.

"You alright, love?" I asked, taking a cup from the cabinet.

He looked up, seeing to not notice my presence.

"I'm fine, just a little nervous for meeting your mom." He confessed, getting up from his chair to walk over to me.  He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder.  I tried to relax as I poured the hot coffee from the pot. 

"She already adores you so there's nothing to worry about.  Just be your usual charming self. No one can resist those dimples." I said, turning myself around to face him. 

"Does my charm work on you?" Harry asked teasing. 

I sipped my coffee, before shaking my head.

"Sorry, I've learned how to resist your ways.  Doesn't work on me anymore." I answered, though knowing very well it was a lie.  He laughed, bringing his face close to mine so that our noses were touching. 

"Well that's a damn shame.  There's so much that I want from you." He said lowly.

"Can't help you there." I said, gliding my lips across his before pulling away and walking towards the living room.

"Tease." Harry called out, making me laugh.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Though I wasn't surprised, my mother and Harry got along amazingly.  They talked about everything from classes, to Harry's family and stories of what England was like, to how hard it had been for my mother to raise all of us after my dad died. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was falling for this boy just as I was.  I chuckled when she first saw him, taking in his appearance and giving me a thumbs up when he wasn't looking. 

I felt her watching Harry and I as the three of us sat in the living room drinking our coffee and sharing stories.  Often times I'd find her smiling softly as she'd notice Harry taking my hand in his, or the way he'd readily get up to pour me another cup of coffee.  It was the simple things that he did that made me admire him more.  He had such a compassionate and genuine soul, that I felt as though I didn't deserve him.

"Are those baby photos?" Harry asked, noticing the wall of frames that my mom had hung up alongside the stone fireplace.  I sighed, preparing for her eagerness to show Harry the large amount of photo albums she had in storage. 

"Mom, no, Harry doesn't need to see all of those" I groaned, as she handed him a handful of pictures of me in my potty training days.  Harry laughed, revealing his large dimples and beautiful smile.

"I definitely need to see these.  What were you doing?" He asked, pointing to a photo of me dressed in makeup and heeled cowboy boots, wearing nothing but my underwear.

"You try growing up with all these sisters. I'd love to see if you wouldn't have ended up in my exact position." I defended, ripping the picture out of his hand, Harry still laughing gently. 

"You poor boy. I'm sorry to tell you this, but cowboy boots are not very suiting on you." He teased. 

"You think you're funny, don't you Styles?" I countered, oblivious to my mother across from us who was rolling her eyes and smiling at our silly banter.

After another album was flipped through, followed by more teasing and laughs while looking at photos of my sisters and I, my soccer games, and even my high school graduation.  As embarrassing as the photos were, Harry's eyes never held judgement, only love and acceptance. 

"Do you really have to go? The girls would love to meet you, Harry." My mother pleaded as Harry and I grabbed our coats and slid them on.

"I'd love to meet them, but I have homework and studying that I still have to get done." He said, disappointment in his voice.  My mom nodded, before walking over to wrap Harry in an embrace. 

"Come back soon, we'd love to have you for dinner."

"I will, I promise. Thank you for everything, Jo." Harry answered, kissing her gently on the cheek.  When they broke away, she leaned over to me.  I wrapped my arms around her,

"Thanks, mom. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Don't let that one go, he's a keeper." She whispered in my ear, Harry waiting patiently by the entrance out of hearing distance.

"I know, mom." I smiled in reassurance before kissing her cheek and leading Harry out the door. He took my hand, swinging it gently between us.  When we got to the car, he held the door open for me before going over to the drivers side. 

"You're mother is lovely.  You two look a lot a like." He said, pulling out of the driveway and heading back to my apartment.

"She has her moments." I said, teasingly. 

"So do you think I passed the test? Am I good enough for her little Lou?" Harry asked, a smirk playing on his face. 

"Well judging by the fact that she was so unwilling to let you leave today, I'd say you passed. She loved you. " I assured, which brought my thoughts back to Harry's night time confession.  I had debated all day whether or not I should mention it to him, torn over if he truly meant it or if it was just a result of the alcohol causing a lapse of judgement in his brain.  I knew I loved him, but did that necessarily mean he felt the same about me? 

"Harry can I ask you a question?" I finally spit out, realizing that if I only had a few weeks left to live I was going to spend it letting Harry know how much I cared for him.  Maybe I was insane, but he was it for me.  There was nothing else I wanted.  

"Mhm" He hummed out, waving a pedestrian to cross the street.  I waited until they crossed, not knowing how to phrase what I was thinking.  He looked over at me expectedly, a small smile on his lips. 

"Lou, the suspense is killing me.  Is everything alright?" He asked, taking my hand in his and squeezing it in reassurance.  I nodded and bit my lip, glancing out the window to avoid eye contact. 

"So last night you said some things-" I started before he stopped me. 

"I already apologized for my dirt talk and stripping, it's not my fault you didn't cut me off while we were at the bar." Harry said chuckling. 

"Hey, I tried but how could I refuse you asking for another drink with pouty lips and wandering hands?" 

"Touche" He smiled, waiting for me to continue.  

"That wasn't what I was talking about, though...I was actually going to mention what you said before you fell asleep." I stopped and looked at Harry who had one hand on the wheel, the other now  pulling at his bottom lip.  I tried to read his expression to see if he had any recollection of those words that fell from his mouth.  I saw none and quickly decided to dismiss my previous intentions. 

"Nevermind, forget I said anything."  Harry surprised me by not responding. I had expected him to interrogate me further and force the question out of me, but instead his eyes remained glued to the road until we reached the parking lot of my apartment.  Once he shut off the engine, I suddenly felt a wave of uneasiness with the silence that followed.  I went to open my mouth to speak when Harry undid his seat belt and turned to face me. 

"Love you, Lou" He said simply, looking me dead in the eyes.  My heart dropped to my stomach at the sound of his words.  He remembered. 

"You what?" I asked, making sure I heard him correctly, or if it was just my eager mind playing tricks on me. 

Harry leaned forward, placing his hand on my cheek, never breaking eye contact.

"I love you, Louis.  I've known that for a while now, but I never had the nerve to say it.  I was afraid, to be honest. This is all still new to me. I mean I was with Emma, but I never loved her like I love you.  I apologize for not saying anything before, but I didn't want to scare you off.  It's felt like I've been walking around in this dream and I'm finally realizing that this is actually happening, and I am truly and deeply in love with you."

I didn't know what to say.  He loved me. This beautiful, passionate, idiotic boy loved me.

"Now you aren't saying anything.."Harry said nervously.  I cleared my throat, releasing the breath that I didn't realize I had been holding. 

"I love you, too, Harry.  I didn't expect it, but how could I not fall for you? You have me hook, line and sinker, and I'm not even ashamed to admit that." I confessed. 

"What do we do now? What happens from here?" He asked, while the thought that December 21 was only a few weeks away became suddenly more aware in my mind after hearing that Harry loved me too.  I dismissed the thought of my (possible) death, and tried to focus on the moment and Harry's green eyes looking at me.

"I don't know.  We can take things slow, see where they lead us. I don't want anything to jeopardize what we have." I answered honestly, he nodded. 

"I agree."

"Come here." He said before pressing his mouth to mine gently.

"I love you" I whispered between kisses, causing him to smile. He deepened the kiss, sucking on my bottom lip.

"Say it again." Harry growled.

"I love you."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry's POV

I was at work this time when the new memories came. They hit me like every other, but this time I couldn't simply brush them aside. Everything had changed. My heart suddenly felt an emptiness that I couldn't even begin to describe. What was once there, was gone and the only thing I could do was sit there and wait as the pain and ache filled my every being. It didn't make sense; the memory that just came to me was one of Louis and I confessing our love for each other. I should be happy and excited for what happened and what could be.

That's when it came together; there wouldn't be a future. At least right here, right now, I didn't have anything but the painful memories of telling this boy that I loved him with ever ounce of my soul. But he wasn't here. While I may have the memory of kissing him in the car, moments filled with caresses and declarations, today I was alone. Louis died.

I don't know why this memory made me feel any different. I had known for a while that I loved Louis, simply from talking to him each night though the mirror, and from gaining all these new memories with him. What made things change, I think was the fact that I now knew he felt the same way about me; we confirmed to one another that our hearts were no longer our own but willingly enslaved to the other. All that hope and excitement that I had felt for the future after that day was crushed by my own reality that Louis was gone.

Work became an impossible task for me and I stared at the half written article on my computer screen. I had to go, though I didn't know where. Anything was better than here, the walls and people surrounding me making it the air seem thick.I grabbed my jacket and bag, rushing out the door, leaving a concerned Liam behind me. I got in my car and threw it into drive, trying to breathe and ignore the dull ache in my chest.

I didn't know where I was going until I was parked out front of the small blue house. Why did I come here? This was the last place I had ever expected to end up, though I knew it was where I needed to be. I got out of the car and slowly walked up the stone path to the front door, knocking gently.

A short brunette answered, surprise evident on her familiar face.

"Harry?" Jo said, her voice breaking. I looked into her blue eyes, seeing Louis' staring back at me.

"I'm sorry for showing up like this but I-" I didn't know what to say. Why was I here? I only had the memory of meeting this woman, though it felt like yesterday that Louis and I were sitting here laughing over baby photos.

"Don't apologize. I'm just surprised to see you here. I-I didn't expect to after Louis.." Her voice trailed off, tears filling her eyes. I couldn't help my own from threatening to spill over.

"Come in, please. We have so much to talk about." She said, ushering me inside quickly. I was immediately enveloped in the warmth and smell of coffee and cinnamon apples. The day Louis and I came here suddenly became so much clear. I could envision him sitting besides me, face flushed in embarrassment as I laughed at the pictures of him in the bathtub as a child. Or the way his eyes were filled with so much love and admiration for his mother when he'd look at her. 

"Please, make yourself at home, Harry. Let me get you some tea." Jo offered, leaving me to walk to the wall of photographs. My heart ached for the boy that I only had distant memories of. He looked so filled with life and promise.

"Here you are, dear." Jo said from behind me, gently placing her hand on my arm and handing me the warm mug. I blew on it, steam billowing out.

"Thank you." I said, taking a seat across from her on the couch.

"How are you, Jo?" I asked, after a moment of silence, neither of us knowing where to begin. She looked at me, giving me her best attempt at a smile.

"I'm managing. Some days are better than others; today was one of them. How about you?"

"I'm honestly not sure. It's really hitting me that he's gone." I said, my voice close to breaking. I put the mug down, suddenly feeling sick.  I had a new found guilt that I didn't have before today for not keeping in contact with this woman after Louis passed.  She was so sweet and welcoming when I met her, that I now wished I had gotten the chance to know her and Louis' sisters better.  I felt selfish for not getting in touch with them, but in reality I had just received these memories of meeting her.  There was no way I could have known beforehand.  

"I have those moments too. There will be times when I walk down the street or see something on the television that makes me think of him, and I'll go to call him only to be faced with the painful reality. He was my boy; my perfect, sweet boy and all I want is to have him safe and in my arms again."

I brushed the tears off my cheeks, trying to steady my breathing. God, this poor woman. My heart broke for her, her daughters, and even for myself. Louis touched all of our lives in a way that could never be replaced or brushed aside. Now that he was gone we were left with the painful reminder and emptiness in our hearts that he wasn't coming back.

"I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to make you upset." Jo said apologetically, coming to sit beside me. She took me in her arms, letting me cry on her shoulder. I felt horrible for doing this to her, when it was her son that died, but I couldn't help it.  These last two months were filled with a whirlwind of memories and emotions that I hadn't expected, and they were all catching up to me now.  I had tried so hard to be strong for Louis and reassure him that everything would be alright, but as December 21 approached I was beginning to worry more and more.  What if our plan didn't work and fate caught up to him? 

"He loved you, you know. I could tell from just that one afternoon with you two.  I have never seen his eyes so bright and filled with so much admiration than when we was looking at you. As much pain as I know his death has caused you, I'm glad you were in his life, and he in yours.  Louis was so special."  Jo said, making my heart break more.  I pulled away to wipe my eyes and look at her.  This was the closest I had ever been to Louis in my world, and it hurt that this was the case; that I was visiting his mother to mourn his death. 

"He really was. I wish I could have saved him, protected him. Anything really, just so long as he was here. I'm sorry I wasn't there for him, Jo." I confessed, making her shake her head head and take my hand in hers firmly.

"Don't you do that, Harry.  This was not your fault.  I know you cared for him, and would have done everything to save him, but things just happen.  We can't always explain them, or figure out why.  We just have to accept the fact that it was his time, and he left us for a reason. I know how difficult it is, each day I ask God why my boy, but I know he's safe now and that nothing can hurt him again.  He has his father up there with him and I can only hope he's looking down on us."  I know knew where Louis got his compassion and strength from.  I admired this woman and her ability to see things so clearly, even in the darkest of times.  

"You're so strong, Jo.  I don't know what I'd do if I were in your position." I admitted.  She smiled softly, 

"I've had a lot of time to think and pray. Trust me it isn't without difficulty, but I have five other children I need to be there for.  They lost their brother too, and they are still coping with that.  It will get better in time, though that hole from his absence will never be filled." Jo explained, and I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.  I took a deep breath, and squeezed her hand.  

"I'm sorry for coming over like this.  This was the last thing you needed, though I really appreciate it." I offered, embarrassed by my emotional outburst.

"Nonsense, I'm glad you stopped by.  We may have only just met that one time, but Louis chose you for a reason, and I'd love to get to know you better, Harry.  You are always welcomed here, okay?" She asked, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. I nodded and thanked her. 

"Good. Now why don't you stay for dinner. I won't take no for an answer." She said, smiling, her eyes crinkling the same way Louis' did. I returned the gesture weakly,

"I'd love to." I agreed. The excitement on her face was clear, making me smile wider. She was such a sweet woman, and I could only hope that I would get to know her better. It made me miss my mom and sister back home.

I sat there while Jo went into the kitchen to let me collect myself. While I didn't know what was going to happen, I did know that December 21 was only weeks away and I was determined to change Louis' fate. We would beat this; I'd never let him go, making sure to keep him here safe and protected within my arms.


	9. Blue

Harry's POV

December 21st.

The date that had hung over Louis and I's heads for months now.  The day that could change absolutely everything.

It was amazing how much could happen in one day; someone would become a mother or father, someone would be getting married or graduating college, someone would have their first kiss. Today, I was faced with the very real possibility that I may be losing the person I loved most in this world. 

I spent the entire night tossing and turning, tormented by the nagging feeling in my gut telling me that something bad was going to happen; that despite Louis not being here for the break in, our plan wouldn't work out.  I watched as the dark shadows on the wall disappeared, sunlight illuminating my room.  My hand reached out instinctively for Louis, the memories of spending nights together seeping into my thoughts.

_"Leave me alone, Harry. It's too bloody early." Louis groaned, throwing his arm over his face though I could see the small smirk playing in his lips. I kissed up his neck, then his jawline which now consisted of a few days worth of stubble.  When I reached his mouth I gently brushed my own along his, making his lips part instinctively.  Instead of closing the distance between us like he had expected, I quickly turned him over and pulled him on top of me, laying him against my chest.  He let out a loud yelp, then laughed as the action surprised him._

_"I guess I'm up then." He said lowly, his fingertips tracing the outline of my lips.  The act made my skin tingle, but that also could be a result of the way his blue eyes were looking back down at me._

_"Hm, I don't think so." I said teasing, reaching my hand down to skim below his waist.  He shuddered, mouth agape, the squatted my hand away._

_"Not what I meant, you little shit.  Do you always wake up like this, because if that's the case then I don't think I can-" I cut him off my attaching my mouth to his.  I could feel him smiling into the kiss, before knotting his fingers tightly in my hair, giving the locks a swift tug.  I groaned and pulled him closer to my chest, realizing now that I wanted to wake up to him every day._

**

I wished so badly I could have him here besides me; to feel his small warm body pressed against mine with no intention of letting go.  I wished I could protect him, I was supposed to be there keeping him safe instead of sitting here waiting for something that may or may not even happen.  I felt useless and pathetic. Louis was so much more than what I thought he'd be, and now that I had a glimpse into the person he was and the idea of a future with him, I wasn't ready to say goodbye.  

I had often spent nights laying in bed, sleeplessness taking over once again. I'd sit there and think about every memory I had with Louis and all the new memories I wanted to make with him. Every one that filled my mind left me wanting more. I wanted to be there to actually feel his lips and kiss him. I wanted to hear his heart beating against my ear as I laid on his chest. I wanted the chance to finally show this man how much he has changed me and how I would go to the end of the earth and back just to be with him.

Groaning, I got out of bed and went over to the thermostat, shivering in my t-shirt and sweatpants.  I hated the winter, and didn't anticipate the apartment to get that cold during the season.  Louis laughed when I complained, telling me that it usually didn't heat up in here until around April. 

Grabbing my hoodie off the hanger, I threw it on and headed into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, knowing very well that today was going to be a long one and that caffeine was a must. 

"Morning, love" I heard Louis call out from across the room.  I smiled, a sense of comfort coming from the sound of his voice. 

"Good morning. How'd you sleep?" I asked, taking a small sip of my coffee and dragging over a chair.  He looked tired, like he hadn't gotten much rest last night, not that I blamed him.  His clear blue eyes weren't the same; today filled with sadness and fear. 

"About as expected, I suppose.  You don't look like you got much either." Louis admitted, offering me a weak smile. 

I shrugged, trying to ignore the nausea sweeping across my body. 

"Let's run through this one more time, please." I begged, needing to reassure myself of today's plan, though we had been over it several times the last few days.  Louis didn't seem to mind though, readily appeasing my nagging and worried ways. 

"I'm going to leave after breakfast and spend the day at your dorm. It's the last night we'll have together before you go back home for the holiday. I won't be anywhere near the apartment, so whoever happens to show up won't be of any concern to us, as far as harming me goes.  You are going to stay in your room and not do a damn thing either. Just ignore what goes on on my side. I'm not going to be there so that's what matters; I don't care about anything else or what they take.. This will work Harry. There's no reason for it not to." He explained, though a hint of doubt in his voice.

"I know, you're right..I just can't stand the idea of actually losing you."

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise you that, Harry." Louis assured.  I looked away thinking about the possibilities of what could happen if tonight worked out. Would I finally have the chance to be with Louis? Or would we somehow be separated from one another? I didn't like that idea anymore than the thought of him being dead. 

"What are you thinking about?" Louis asked after a minute of silence between us.  I looked back at him, smiling.

"About our future. Do you think we'll have one?"

"Of course I do. Look how far we've come.  Three months ago we were ready to check ourselves into the nut house, but now...it'd all be for nothing if it didn't work out." He responded thoughtfully.  

"It'd be for something; you'd be alive. Even if that meant we weren't together, you'd still have your entire life ahead of you." I said, knowing that if somehow Louis and I didn't end up together, I'd want him to have the chance to live his life.  He deserved it; there was so much he offered the world, and so many things he had left to do.

"I honestly don't want a future if it doesn't include you, as cliche as that seems." Louis said, looking down at his hands nervously. My heart skipped at his words, though I felt the same way.  It may be too soon, and naive of us to think we could ever work out, but I knew Louis was it for me.  He was the beginning to the next chapter of my story, and I only prayed this wasn't our tragic ending. 

"You sound like a Hallmark card" I teased, then got serious.

"I know what you mean, though.  I want nothing more than to have the chance to actually be with you.  To have you here beside me at night, to wake up to your face in the morning, hell I even want to have the chance to fight with you.  I want it all." I confessed, meaning every word. 

"If only for the make up sex" He said jokingly, giving me a smirk. I laughed, needing the chance to lighten the mood.

"It'd be amazing. I'd have to fight you every day."

"I wouldn't complain. Though getting you drunk seems to be just as effective for getting sex out of you." He laughed. I groaned and hid my face in my hands.  

"I can't control myself, especially when you purposely tease me!  You know exactly what you're getting yourself into,Tomlinson, so don't act like I take advantage of poor little virginal, Louis." I laughed, earning a smirk and glare from him.  When our laughs faded out, I watched his eyes go hard and dark noticing him looking at the clock. I did the same, realizing the time.  He had to go. 

We looked back at each other, perfect mirrors of one another's heartbroken expressions.  This was it; this could be the last moment I see Louis.

"Louis I-"

"No, Harry don't.  This time tomorrow we'll be together and everything will be fine. I don't want a goodbye. It's not necessary." Louis said, interrupting me.  My heart felt like it was in my throat. I hated this uncertainty, it was driving me mad. 

"Louis I can't lose you. I barely even had the chance to have you." I said, my eyes stinging from the tears that threatened to spill over.  There it was again; that empty feeling in my chest, as if a piece of my soul was being ripped from me.

"You aren't losing me, love. Everything will be okay, have faith." He said, though I could tell he didn't believe his words.  I watched as his blue eyes brimmed with tears, a few escaping and falling down his cheek.

"I know you don't want a goodbye, Lou, but I can't let you go without getting the chance to say this." I started, taking a deep breath.

"Say what?" Louis asked, confused.

"Thank you. I want to thank you, Louis. You have done so much for me that I can't even begin to express my gratitude.  I have never been happier than I have been these last few months with you.  You showed me that I could be myself and that I could love; that I could love in a way that I never thought even possible.  And for some strange reason you love me too, and that's more than I could ever ask for.  I didn't deserve you, but somehow I got you and I don't want to let you go.  I won't." I said, tears running down my face. 

"God, Harry I-" His voice broke as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"I love you, Harry.  And I hate that I have to leave you. But tomorrow when this is all over, you won't have to let me go, and I don't want you to.  I'll always be with you, no matter what happens.  You know that, right?" He asked, looking up at me.  I nodded, taking a deep breath.

"I know.  Just please be careful." I said, watching as he rose from his seat. 

"I will. You relax, too, okay? I'm not going anywhere. This will all be over soon."

Louis went to the counter and grabbed his bag, keys and wallet. 

"I love you." He said weakly. 

"I love you too." I replied, watching as a piece of my heart walked out the door. 

"Goodbye, Lou." I whispered, left to stare at the empty place where Louis once was. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Louis' POV

"Are you sure you're alright?" Harry asked, taking a bite of the ice cream we picked up while out renting movies downtown.  

"Yeah, I'm just going to miss you while you're away." I said, only half lying.  I couldn't stop thinking about tonight and the possibility of something going wrong. There was no reason this shouldn't work; I wasn't going to be home when the break in happened.  Tomorrow everything would be different.  Would I wake up alone in my apartment with everything back to the way it was? Or would I be waking up next to Harry once again, listening to the words he'd say in his sleep, wrapped gently in his arms.

"It's only for a week. When I get back we'll have the rest of break to spend together. I promise." He said, planting a quick kiss on my cheek before returning to the movie that we had playing on the television. We had spent the entire day in Harry's room, having a  marathon filled with food and make out sessions.  I honestly had nothing to complain about, this was perfect and there was no other place I'd rather be. I just wished it was for a different reason, and that I wasn't here to literally avoid my death. Being with Harry though made me feel so alive that part of me wanted to believe that this couldn't be the end; how could I feel so much just to have it taken away? 

I think Harry could sense my tension and anxiety throughout the day, because he did everything he could to make sure I was comfortable and happy.  God I loved him.  I loved the way he'd look at me and smile, momentarily lighting up my world.  I loved how he'd get so invested into the movie that he'd be either angrily yelling at the characters, or getting choked up over the cheesy ass romance scenes being shown.  I loved his goofy laugh and the way his nose would scrunch up and he'd clap his hand over his mouth as if trying to mute the noise.  I loved how he was perfectly imperfect with all his quirks and flaws, and still managed to make me fall harder everyday.  

My mind then wandered to Harry back home, wondering how he was holding up.  It broke my heart to see him so upset this morning, making me almost second guess leaving.  I knew I had no other choice, though. It was only temporary; tomorrow was filled with endless possibilities that made my mind spin and my heart hope for.

"That's it, you're thinking too much." Harry said, putting down his bowl and turning to me.  I laughed.

"I am not, don't worry about me. Eat your damn food, though lord knows you've had more than enough of it today." I replied, causing him to roll his eyes. 

"I'm serious. I want this to be a good night for you. This is not only the last night we have together for a while, it's also our Christmas and your birthday celebration." He said smiling. 

"Oh is it now? Funny, I wasn't informed of that." I teased, watching as he leaned over to reach beneath his bed, pulling out a small box. The action caused his sweatshirt to rise, revealing his fern tattoos.  I tried not to stare at the way his muscles moved and clenched with the action, and what it'd feel like to run my fingers down them. 

"That's because it was a surprise..so surprise!" He yelled, handing me the box.  It was coveree in red and gold paper, a bow placed simply on the top.

"I wrapped it myself." Harry said proudly, making me smile at his childlike expression.

"I couldn't tell."

"Oh shut it and just open the damn thing." He said impatiently.  I had to admit I was a little nervous as to what was hidden within the box.  I tore off the paper, throwing it onto the floor. Harry gave me a look, knowing very well that he didn't like his room messy.

When I saw what was inside my breath caught. 

"Harry where did you get this?" I asked, pulling out the vintage camera.

"I saw it in a thrift shop when I was passing by.  It made me think of you because I know you had a small collection going.  I had it cleaned and fixed so it should work.  I hope you don't already have it, because I honestly know nothing about cameras and I just thought-"

"Harry it's perfect. You really didn't have to do this." I interrupted, breaking him from his  nervous rambling.  He gave me a smile, his eyes softening. 

"I wanted to, though."

"I love it, thank you." I said, placing it back in the box and gently putting it on the desk next to me.  I reached over and pulled him in for a hug, finding comfort in his warm embrace.  He rubbed my back gently, holding me tight.  I felt the knot in my stomach tighten, my eyes stinging with threatening tears.

 _Don't let go of me, Harry._  

"If I knew a camera was going to get this kind of reaction from you I would have given it to you sooner," he teased when I still held tightly to him.  He seemed to sense my desperatation, though didn't question it, but instead wrapped his arm around me, pulling me even closer to him.  I felt him nuzzle into my hair, my own face flushed against his curls.  I breathed him in, remembering the smell; His strawberry shampoo and faded cologne.  

"I got you something too. But I hid it at my apartment." I said finally pulling away from his arms. He eyed me over as if gauging my current emotional state, then asked confused, 

"Why would you do that?" 

"I wanted to see if you could find it yourself." It may seem crazy to him, but it made perfect sense to me.  If something were to happen to me, future Harry would know to look for the gift.  He'd be able to find it exactly where I hid it, knowing that I had left something behind for him.  And if everything did work out, then I'd be able to give it to him myself. 

"I don't understand you sometimes." Harry said laughing, shaking his head. He laid down on the bed, pulling me on top of him so I was straddling his waist.  I looked down at the man in front of me, realizing how lucky I was to have met him.  He wasn't like other people, and out of everyone on this planet, it was me that he fell for. 

"Louis, quit ogling. Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's not polite to stare?" Harry said, pretending to scold me.  I rolled my eyes and brought my mouth to his.  Harry's hands slid along my back, reaching beneath my shirt. I shuddered at his touch, my skin feeling as if every nerve was alive and on fire.  He broke away from my mouth and kissed along my jawline, his hand resting on my waist. I looked up at the ceiling trying to catch my breath, while he slowly moved down my neck.  

Harry's soft mouth scattered bites along the sensitive area, his teeth gently grazing my collarbone. I grabbed his arms tightly, my eyes closing in response to his actions.  When he pulled away and looked at me I could see the desire in his eyes, knowing mine revealed the same.  I crashed my mouth back to his, gently rocking my hips against him.  He moaned and grabbed my ass, forcing me to go harder.  I smirked when I felt his bulge form beneath my lap, relishing in the power I had over him. 

I ran my tongue over his lips, before tangling his with mine, the lust and eagerness growing with each kiss.  I wanted him so badly, but I also knew he had only been with a woman before, and I didn't want to rush anything.  I'd wait until he was ready, though it was incredibly hard to resist with him panting in my ear beneath me.  I'd love nothing more than to see him come undone with my touch. 

"Harry we can't. I- I don't want to rush anything." I said in between kisses.  He pulled back, concern on his face. His eyes were glossy, face flushed, his perfect lips beginning to swell.

"You don't want to?" He sounded so hurt and vulnerable,which made me think that he believed I didn't want to have sex  _because_ of him. I gripped his face, staring firmly into his dark eyes. 

"Harry, I've wanted nothing more than to have you all to myself. I just don't want to pressure you.  I know this aspect is new for you.  I don't ever want to make you feel uncomfortable." I explained, reaching down to tuck away his messy curls which were tangled around his face.

"I want to, Louis. I want you, always." He reassured. I scanned his face, looking for any signs of doubt or hesitation; I saw nothing. 

"I want you too" I said before returning my mouth to his.  I let one hand gradually trail up his thigh while the other stayed knotted in his unruly hair. I lightly moved my hips down onto his, eliciting a moan from him.

"Fuck, Louis, you're killing me." He said breathlessly as his hands reached up to take off my shirt. I broke away, helping him compete the action, throwing the fabric on the floor. He raised his arms next, allowing me better access to take off his grey hoodie.  I noticed once again the dark ink decorating his skin.  I let my fingers lightly trace the patterns before moving slowly down his stomach to his pantline.  He leaned his head back as I undid his button and zipper, lifting myself so he could pull them down, leaving him in nothing but his black boxers.

Harry surprised me by flipping us over so he was hovering over me.  He kept my gaze as he undid my pants, pulling them down my legs and off my feet. He leaned down planting wet kisses along my thighs, then up my stomach, chest and finally back to my mouth.  I sucked on his bottom lip, running my hands down his back and under his boxers, gripping the soft curve of his ass.  I reached down and attempted to pull them off of him.  He realized my actions, pulling away to remove the black material.  My eyes widened, staring at him exposed like this; he was perfect. Right now I needed him. I needed to show him how much he meant to me and how beautiful he was. If this may be my last night with him, I wanted it to be one that he remembered and knew in these moments that I have never loved him more.

My boxers were next, and were soon thrown at the end of the bed, leaving nothing between Harry and I. I loved being this close to him; to see every inch of him exposed in such a vulnerable way only made me love him more.  I couldn't find one flaw in this boy.

 I knew we shouldn't be together; the entire situation the last few months only proving that.  But we were brought together for a reason, and I didn't care what that reason was.  All that mattered was the way Harry caressed my face as he kissed along my jaw, and how I never felt such love for anyone in my life.

"Harry, I don't mean to ruin the mood, but-" I started, realizing that we both needed some relief very soon.

"If we're going to do this, we need to figure out how this is going to work." I said, wanting to make sure Harry was completely comfortable. 

He continued to kiss me neck, running his tongue up to my ear before sucking on the lobe.  I closed my eyes trying to focus on the conversation.

"There's nothing to work out. I want to feel you, Louis. It's as simple as that." He said lowly, making my heart skip a beat.  I took his arms and flipped him over so I was hovering over him, his hands gripped above his head. 

I kissed down his neck, making him buck his hips up in anticipation. 

"Stop teasing me, Lou." He nearly begged, I would have seen how far I could get him before he really meant what he said, but instead I leaned over to reach into the drawer of his desk, pulling out a condom. I quickly ripped open the package with my teeth, throwing it onto the floor. Harry watched as I rolled the thin material on.

"Are you sure?" I asked once I was finished. 

"I'm sure." He said clearly.

"I wish I had something to help with this..It's going to hurt, Harry." I said honestly, hating the idea of him being in pain.

"I'll be fine, I promise." He reassured, reaching up to grab my face in his large hands. I  kissed him gently, pulling away slightly to take a deep breath.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you." He said before I put my hands against his bare chest, digging my nails into its smooth surface as I gently eased myself in.

Harry groaned out in pain, making me freeze in my place. 

"You alright? We can stop." I said, worried we were going to far.

He shook his head, motioning for me to give him a minute. I waited patiently, running my fingers gently through his hair to soothe him.  When he nodded for me to continue, he allowed me a moment to adjust myself before beginning to thrust in and out, trying to keep a slow and steady pace. His face was beaded in sweat, while his teeth bit down on his bottom lip in concentration.

"God you're beautiful, Harry.  I love you so much." I never wanted to leave this place; Harry had become my home and safe haven. The uncertainty of tomorrow began to fill my mind, though I quickly dismissed them, allowing myself this one chance to forget absolutely everything but the man moaning beneath me.  I let my hands run over his face, studying the gentle planes of his cheeks and the dip of his nose, before knotting my fingers in his mess of curls.  I committed the taste of his full lips to memory; chocolate and mint. I looked into his blown out eyes, staring into the image of his love and acceptance.  He was my perfect dream and I never wanted to wake.  

Harry's breathing began to pick up, his grip on by shoulders becoming painful.  I kissed his mouth to smother the moans that escaped his trembling lips, his nails raking down my back. I cringed and broke away to lean in close to his ear, offering affirmations of my love as we both reached our highs. His body shuddered beneath mine, before pulling my face back to him so our foreheads were touching.  My eyes met his, smoldering emeralds that threatened to set fire to this room, igniting with a love that consumed me whole. I'd happily take the burn knowing that it came from him, already lost within this perfect sin. 

When we finally finished, I collapsed onto Harry's chest.  He held me close, rubbing my back as we steadied our breathing.  I stayed silent, the rise and fall of his torso calming me.  I felt him lightly kiss my head, allowing us this moment to compose ourselves and wrap our minds around what just happened.  

"That was incredible." I finally said, looking up at him, his hair matted to his forehead, eyes bright and dreamy. 

Harry laughed and kissed me gently, pulling me tighter to his warm body. It was then that I looked over at the clock sitting on Harry's dresser, noticing the time. It was just a little past midnight; December 22nd.  I was still here. I smiled to myself realizing that our plan had worked out, we cheated death. Harry and I could be together.  I could live the life I had always dreamed of, one filled with traveling and photography and this incredible man wrapped in my arms.  I hadn't realized the tears brimming my eyes until I caught one right before it hit Harry's shoulder.  I brushed it aside, and sat up, suddenly filled with a new energy.  

"Let's go for a walk." I said, getting out of bed to throw my clothes on. Harry sat up, leaning on his arms.

"Are you crazy? It's after midnight and it's snowing." He said, amusement in his voice.  I shrugged, looking out the window to see that he was right. 

"When have you known me to be sane? I've never been able to resist a good snow fall, makes for beautiful pictures. Don't tell me I wore you out that much?" I teased, throwing Harry his clothes.

"Awfully full of yourself, Tomlinson.  Who said it was any good?" 

I scoffed,

"You weren't complaining when you were full of Tomlinson minutes ago. Shall I rein act those noises you made and the pleas for more?"

His face flushed and he rolled back onto the bed, throwing the pillow over his face in embarrassment. I laughed and hopped on top of him, straddling his waist though this time with a blanket between us. 

"Oh don't be embarrassed, love.  I found your noises to be an extreme turn on." I assured, pulling the pillow off his head.  Pieces of his curls were splashed across his face, making him wriggle his nose at the sensation.  How was he both the most adorable person I had ever met, but also led me to have the most inappropriate thoughts by simply looking at him trapped below me like this? I leaned forward and pecked his swollen lips before jumping off and yelling, 

"Now get that ass out of bed before I change my mind and decide to give it round two of the Tomlinson." I winked, causing him to roll his eyes and comply to my request. 

"Please stop referring to your dick as Tomlinson." Harry groaned, throwing on his pants. I laughed and did the same. Once we were dressed I grabbed the camera from the small box and tucked it into my jacket. 

When we got outside it was much cooler than I had anticipated, the brisk air nipping at my cheeks. 

"Here" Harry said, pulling off his beanie and shoving it on my head.  I thanked him, and grabbed his hand, leading the way down the street.  Despite the cold, it was beautiful out here.  The streetlights lit the stone pathways that winded through the empty street.  Snow dusted the treetops, looking as soft as powder against the branches. 

"Let me take your picture." I said, motioning for Harry to stand under the street light, allowing me to get a better view of him. He offered me a half assed smiled, amused eyes staring back at me.  I snapped the image, before walking back to his side to take his hand. Snow decorated his dark curls, making him look oddly innocent and angelic with his wide eyes and rosy cheeks.  

"You're re staring again. I'd say take a picture to make it last longer, but you seem to already have an obsessive amount of those too." Harry teased, looking at me from the corner of his eye.  

I was about to respond when I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise, suddenly hearing footsteps behind us.  Turning to look back, I saw three dark figures following just a few feet away.

"Harry" I whispered, making him turn his attention to where I was looking.  His grip tightened on me, pulling me closer against his side protectively.

"Just keep walking" He said lowly, quickening our pace.

"Hey, where you off to boys? The gay bar is the other direction." A deep voice taunted.  My heart skipped a beat, the sick feeling from before returning.  Harry ignored the man's comment, his nostrils flaring.

"Come on, we just want to talk." He continued, his footsteps sounding closer.  We kept walking.  I could feel Harry's tense muscles beneath his jacket. 

"Fucking faggots!" Another voice called from behind, causing Harry to stop in his tracks. 

"What the fuck did you just say?" He bellowed out, turning towards the group of men in front of us.  I grabbed his arm, trying to get him to walk away. Whatever traces of that innocent angelic man I saw before were quickly replaced with a darkness that I had never seen from him.  The way his eyes hooded over, piercing the men in front of us.  His posture was rigid but positioned to fight.  Did he even know how to throw a punch? Judging by the clenched fist at his side and the intimidating power he suddenly possessed I didn't doubt him.  

"Harry, stop. Let's keep going." I pleaded, knowing very well that this situation was not going to turn out well.

"Yeah Harry, listen to your little bitch." I froze in place, watching Harry as he his chest heaved in anger. 

"Don't you fucking talk to him!" He yelled, trying to lunge forward but stopped by my grasp on him.

"Harry, let's go" I said, though this time in panic. 

"What are you going to do about it?" The man asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a knife.  My heart stopped, every sense of hope and reassurance about before escaping my mind.  Fate had a funny way of working things out; I knew then in that moment that it wasn't going to let me escape unscathed. 


	10. Lost

Louis' POV:

"Harry!" I cried out, watching as one of the men turned the corner and hit Harry across the head with a very heavy object. Was that a brick? He stumbled backwards for a moment, reaching out for something to hold onto. I tried to rush to his side, to hold him and protect him from what was to come, but I was restrained by the powerful grip of the man behind me. I watched as Harry looked at me, hand extended towards mine, but instead fell to his knees, body limp in the snow.  It was all happening so fast that I barely had time to process that the screams I heard were my own, by heart feeling as though it were caving in on itself like Harry's body was failing him.  

"Harry! NO!" I yelled, feeling my legs crumble beneath me. The other two men began walking towards Harry, one with the knife positioned in his hand.  They wouldn't. They couldn't, could they?  I panicked and stood back to my feet, adrenaline coursing through my veins.  There was no way I was going to let Harry die tonight.  His life was not over, and I'd do everything in my power to make sure of that.  Before I could think of what I was doing or a plan as to how I was going to stop the men from hurting Harry further, I elbowed the man holding me back, allowing me a chance to escape his grasp and run to the broken boy before me.  

"Get away from him!" I warned when I reached the scene, hitting the smaller of the three in the stomach, knocking him backwards.  His breath caught and he looked up with me with a new fierce determination.  My heart dropped, though I knew he had a new target. This was it, this was the moment Harry and I had been waiting for.  We were successful in avoiding the break in, and for a while I thought I was safe; that a future with Harry was a very real possibility.  Though looking at the three men before me now, I realized that maybe it wasn't about having a second chance at life, but giving Harry his second chance.  Another shot at love and a life, even if it was without me.  I could give him that.  If I knew he would escape this attack safe and alive, then it'd be worth the pain I could tell I was about to endure.  I had no idea what these three men intended on doing, or if either of us would make it out, but with the murderous looks in their eyes I accepted my new fate.  

"Someone is feeling brave tonight, aren't they?" The larger man taunted, throwing a fist to my gut before I could even react or flee.  The force knocked me to my knees, allowing the second man to hit me across my jaw.  My head spun and ears began to ring, making my reaction time much too slow to even defend myself against the next set of hits.  I wasn't sure how long they kept beating me, but soon the pain became so violent that I went numb.  The cold snow became a blanket that made me momentarily forget what was happening, and focus solely on Harry's still unmoving body yards from me.  The tears that fell from my eyes were hot against my icy face, but I couldn't help but break at the sick irony of everything.  Here I was, ready to spend the rest of my time on this Earth loving the man who owned my heart, only to pray that his life wasn't slipping like I could feel mine was.  

I always wondered if your life actually flashed before your eyes when you were dying. While I wasn't sure if I would see the bright light or simply lose consciousness, I couldn't help but be filled with a stream of images that played like a movie behind my lids.  I was suddenly six years old and on my father's shoulders at our first football game.  It was only a few weeks before his accident, and looking back now I wished I had appreciated those moments with him more.  The way he'd try and explain the game to me, and I'd hang on his every word because to me he was the greatest person on this planet; the man that I had wanted to grow up to be exactly like.  The man who I had watched love and care for my mother and sisters with so much compassion. I wondered what would he think of me now.  Was he here watching over me, trying to protect me as my guardian angel? Would he be there to greet me if I did die tonight? The thought brought me a small piece of comfort, thinking of seeing him after all this time.  It had been so long since I had looked into his dark blue eyes, and felt his warm embrace around me.  It was here that I realized that maybe death wouldn't be so bad if I knew my father was waiting on the other side. 

Next I was twelve and coming home from school to see my grandparents standing in the kitchen. I walked in, eager to tell them about how I had won the class spelling contest, but stopped when I realized they hadn't noticed my presence just yet. Instead, I watched as my grandfather took my grandmother's hand in his and gently began swaying them back forth, the music something only between them.  He looked at her with a quiet admiration, that never seemed to fade, even after all these years together.  The moment was so sweet and tender as he would pull her closer, and she'd rest her head against his chest. I hadn't ever really been exposed to love until my grandparents. Of course my parents cared for one another deeply, but I was too young to ever pay attention to their relationship and its strength. It was then that I knew I had wanted a love just like the man and woman in front of me.  

Now I am sixteen and burying my grandmother just months after my grandfather. That was the third person I loved that I had lost, and I couldn't help but become a little bitter towards God, and aware of how fragile life was.  I had watched my grandfather lose his life to cancer, and had seen how empty and lost my grandmother had become without him here. I had never witnessed so much suffering and pain than I did those months he was in treatment, and then when she was left to bury her husband. According to the doctors, my grandmother died of old age, peacefully sleeping in her bed.  I believed she died of a broken heart. Now there was no one left but me to help care for my mother and sisters, and it was during this time that I knew I would do everything I could do keep them safe and cared for.  They were all I had left and I couldn't lose them too. 

The last image that filled my mind was a mess of curls, and a sea of green and gold looking up at me two mornings ago.  I was only pretending to sleep, simply laying there in the warm comfort of Harry's arms.  He began to stir, mumbling out a few incoherent words before turning to face me.  I kept my eyes closed, though a smile played on my lips as I felt his gaze on me, his fingertips brushing the hair off my forehead before leaning over to press a kiss to each of my eye lids. I could wake up to this every morning.  When I finally opened my eyes, I took in the image of the beautiful man in front of me.  He didn't say anything, just looked at me with an open admiration and curiosity, like he was studying my face for the first time. 

_"What?" I asked, feeling self conscious under his gaze.  Harry shook his head, then said_

_"Just love you, Lou" It was then that I knew I'd follow this man to the end of the Earth._

My vision was beginning to blur as I felt a warm substance surround my body and melt the snow around me. The men continued to beat me, but I couldn't feel it. This was it; I was dying.  I could tell by how light everything was becoming.  Suddenly there was no pain, no noise but the gentle humming in my ears. I couldn't believe it, despite all the worry and energy that went into avoiding my death, here I was unable to defeat fate. 

"Louis?" A faint voice called out, bringing me back to reality and making my heart stop. He was alive. I couldn't help but smile at the thought as I felt myself slowly begin to go under.  Harry was going to live, and I was okay with the rest. 

"Shit! Come on, lets go, he's waking up"  One of the men called out, but not before completing his task. The last thing I felt was a sharp pain piercing my side, before everything went black.

_\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Harry's POV:

The day of the break in was the hardest to get through.  I anxiously paced my room, trying everything from writing to cleaning to keep myself preoccupied. I ended up doing the thing that calmed me most, getting lost in a world of words that I often found I couldn't fully express until they were written in ink inside my journal.  This one filled me with a new hope, despite the nagging thoughts in the back of my mind that tried to convince me otherwise.  I scanned the scribbled page and realized that this was exactly what I wanted with Louis, and could only pray to have with him; a chance to be with him and see him in a completely new light.  One filled with promise and love and a passion that only grew stronger in time.  

 **Let's get lost by the sea**  
**With the sand between our feet**  
**Your smile warmer than the gentle breeze**  
**Blowing hair across your cheek**  
  
**Let's get lost in a field**  
**Where wild flowers act as our shield**  
**The summer sun's rays concealed**  
**Humbled by the fire your eyes reveal**  
  
**Let's get lost in the rain**  
**And break free from heavy chains**  
**The icy drops like electricity in our veins**  
**Making your lips the color of champagne**  
  
**Let's get lost in the stars**  
**That burn brighter than our scars**  
**Your touch igniting my reborn heart**  
**As we travel past the heat of Mars**  
  
**Let's get lost in these sheets**  
**That are tangled between our feet**  
**My hand against your chest's steady beat**  
**Finding my home as our journey is complete**

I had just finished the last line when I heard a loud bang from the other side of the mirror. My heart stopped, nearly causing me to knock my journal onto the floor. I quickly shut off the light and eased myself into my room, not wanting to make him aware of my presence, only imagining the conversation that would follow his encounter with the strange man in the mirror.  Laying down on my bed, I was reminded of the time I had first seen Louis looking back at me.  It seemed like so long ago that we both thought we had lost our sanity.  It didn't take long for me to realize how special this man was, despite the unnerving circumstances.  God, I loved him and I knew how ludicrous that seemed since it had only been just under three months.  That's all it took, though.  Those few months was all the time I needed to come to the realization that i wanted Louis to be a part of my life.

After an hour, I wondered if the man inside Louis' apartment had left, and I quietly opened my door to listen to the sounds of the other side of the mirror.  I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that he left, checking the clock to see that it was now past midnight; December 22nd.  We did it.  We changed Louis' fate. I couldn't contain the excitement that filled my heart and mind at the fact that Louis was alive and free from harm.  I wasn't sure why but I found myself calling my mother. I knew it was early back home in Cheshire, but she had to be to work in a few hours, and always made sure she was awake well in advance. She answered on the second ring, her voice filled with a slight panic.

"Harry? Is everything alright? Are you well?" She rushed out and I smiled, feeling light in this new high that Louis was alive.  It seemed like nothing could bring me down. 

"Of course, I'm sorry if I worried you. We haven't talked in a while, and I couldn't sleep just yet." 

"Have a lot on your mind?" She asked, always seeming to know when I had something I wanted to talk about, or when I preferred to keep my thoughts to myself.  

"Yeah actually.  Part of the reason I called- Mom, I met someone." I explained.  I knew that Louis may not be here in my time now, but I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face at the thought of him having a life full of endless possibilities; a life with me.  I didn't know what to expect now. Would he just show up and walk through the front door? Would I have to go search for him? Or did we change the past so much that a future with him was now impossible to have? My face faltered at the last thought, though I dismissed it, focusing back on my mother who eagerly awaited an explanation of this mystery person. 

"Tell me, tell me. Is she lovely?" She asked, making me nervous to reveal the fact that  _she_ was actually a  _he._ I knew my mother would accept me either way, and only wanted to see the best for me, but I couldn't help but panic slightly at her reaction to her son coming out over a phone call. 

"Yes, he is." I let out, waiting for her response.  

"And?" 

"And what?" I questioned, confused by her remark.  

"And what's his name? How serious is this relationship? I need to know details, you may be a grown man but you're still my baby and I need to make sure you are being treated properly." She said, making me laugh in relief.  I had half anticipated a reaction of surprise and disgust, not the string of too many questions she typically asked. 

"His name is Louis, he's a photographer, and we have been seeing one another for about three months now. He's so amazing, mom, I-" 

"You kept this from me for three months? Harry Edward Styles I had thought better of you than to keep secrets like this from your mother" She yelled out, though I could hear the laughter in her voice. 

"I'm sorry, mom, I wanted to tell you sooner, but the situation has been..complicated.  It wasn't the right time." I explained. Maybe now wasn't the best of times either considering I still did not know where Louis and I stood, but I had kept everything inside for months now and I needed the chance to open up to my mom.  

"Do you love him?" 

"I do. Very much so." I answered without missing a beat.  

"Does he love you?" She questioned further.  

"Surprisingly, he does. I don't know how or why, but somehow I was lucky enough to have this man fall for me almost as much as did with him."  

My mother sighed in contentment on the other end of the phone, and I had never felt more relieved and alive as I did right now.  

"Then that's all that matters. I am so happy for you, Harry, you know that? You deserve this and I cannot wait to meet this man who took your heart." 

The nagging thoughts began to enter my mind once again as I thought about the possibility that Louis and I may not actually end up together.  I was so focused on him being safe, that I failed to realize that he wasn't here with me now, nor have I heard of any sign of him.  Given it had only been a short amount of time since the break in occurred,  but I had expected something to happen by this point. What if we really wouldn't be together? Was fate truly that cruel to do that?  My mother seemed to notice my change in mood as I remained silent to her comment. 

"What is it, love?" Her voice lost that excitement and was not filled with motherly concern.  I wished I could tell her everything, but if I didn't want to end up committed to a mental institution, I knew I had to keep most parts of mine and Louis' relationship to myself. 

"I'm just-I'm scared something is going to mess everything up. Like I'm waiting for that moment where everything is taken away and Louis and I don't work out. I know it doesn't make sense, and I shouldn't be talking like this after only three months, but mom, I can't even explain to you how he makes me feel.  It's like nothing I have ever experienced and I am just so afraid that I'm going to lose it all; that I'm going to lose him." I confessed, leaving out the reasoning behind those feelings. 

"That's what happens when you're in love. It's terrifying because it comes on so quickly, but you can't help but savor in the feeling love brings you. It's normal to have these fears, Harry, but you can't let them bother you.  Everyone has a plan and Louis is a part of yours.  He came into your life for a reason, and you need to focus on that rather than the negative.  You deserve happiness and love. Don't let worries of the unknown get to you. Enjoy this time with Louis." She said, making a new wave of emotion flow through me.  I wasn't sure why I was suddenly threatened with tears, but all I could think of was saying goodbye to Louis this morning, and wondering if that was the last time I would see him.  I don't know what I would do if he was taken from me so quickly.  I didn't care if I sounded selfish.  All I wanted was this man to walk through my door and let me protect him; to never let go.

I quickly composed myself, not wanting to concern her further. She was right, I couldn't let this fear control me; Louis and I made it this far. We literally defeated death and changed fate.  We would somehow find our way back to one another, and I didn't care how long I would have to wait. 

When my mother and I finished our conversation, which consisted of nearly a half hour interrogation about Louis and I's relationship, my defeated and exhausted body got the better of me, deprived from the anxiety and lack of sleep I had dealt with the last few days.  Knowing that Louis was safe now, I climbed into bed, begging that sleep would take me and let me escape this reality, if only for a few hours. I did something that night that I hadn't done in a while; I prayed.  I prayed that Louis was safe wherever he was, and that he was happy.  I prayed that somehow he'd find his way back to me and that we could finally live the life we had spent time talking about into the late night hours, laying beside one another in my small dorm bed.  

As I felt myself begin to drift off, I sensed someone besides me. I could feel the warmth of a body, hear the gentle rhythm of their breaths.  My heart raced in fear, opening my eyes to be faced with a sleeping boy, looking peaceful in his rest. 

"Louis?" I whispered, my heart feeling as though it were about to jump from my chest.  I reached out, gently touching his cheek as not to disturb him, wanting to make sure he was real. His face was older, thinner, but still as handsome as I remembered.  Flashes of all the nights we had spent together filling my mind as I pulled him closer to my chest, not wanting to let him go. I breathed him in, wanting to absorb every aspect of this moment.  He smelled exactly as I remembered; cinnamon and sunshine.   Nothing compared to how it felt to actually hold him in my arms. He was so soft and small, and perfect in ways that I couldn't even begin to describe.  We found one another, and I wasn't losing him again.  

The movement of my embrace made him stir in his sleep, opening his clear blue eyes, dazed from his peaceful slumber. The memories nor the reflection of the mirror did them justice, and I was consumed by the color and depth of them.  He looked at me in awe, and I could tell my face held the same expression.

"Harry?" He asked, his voice groggy with sleep.

"You're here. You're actually here." I cried, gripping his as tightly as I could.  I felt him shudder beneath me, tears soaking my shirt.  This all seemed so surreal. Louis was safe and protected here within my arms and there was no way I was ever letting him leave.  I wanted to stay like this forever, relishing in the sweet reality that my heart and soul was within my grasp.

"You're alive, Louis. We did it." I said, pulling away to look him in the eyes. He smiled, before reaching up to run his fingers through my hair. I leaned down, inches from his face, his warm breath against my skin.  He closed the distance by gently pressing his lips to mine, my body electrifying from his touch that I had only ever experienced through memories. The feeling of actually being able to hold him and feel his heart beating beneath his chest made me feel like all of this was worth it.  All this torment and uncertainty made sense in the end; because while we may not have known what the future held, I did know that I loved this boy with every ounce of my soul.  He was mine just as much as I was his and there was no turning back.  Fire flowed through my veins as the heat of Louis' body pressed against me. We fit together perfectly, like we had always been destined to hold one another.  This may not be our first kiss, but it was to me.  This was my first time actually feeling his lips against mine, tasting his tongue on my own. This was the first kiss to our new chapter, and I planned on having an infinite more.   

"Harry I can't believe I'm actually here.  I was so scared when those men came at us. I would have sworn I was going to die. Everything was so dark and I was in so much pain. It hurt so bad, Harry, but I knew you were going to live and that was all that mattered. You were alive and that's all I could hope for." Louis rushed out, but I stopped him.

"What do you mean, thought you were going to die? What happened, Louis, who hurt you?" The panic in my voice was evident as I thought about the idea of something purposely harming Louis in any way. I had no clue as to what he was talking about, and judging by his expression I could assumed that he was surprised by my lack of knowledge as well. 

"You don't remember? We were attacked last night, Harry..I-" His voice trailed off as I shook my head, in shock to the news I was hearing. I had no recollection of being attacked, nor about Louis having a near death experience.  Why was I not there to protect him? Why was he worried about me living when his life seemed as though it was in more jeopardy than mine? Nothing made sense as I looked at Louis in frightened bewilderment. He pressed his hand against my cheek to ease my mind, and was about to explain further but I pulled away from him, confused by what was happening in front of me. The once clear image I had of Louis was now fading away.  His warm skin beneath my touch was slipping, falling through him and onto the bed.  He was slipping away, making me think this was all just a dream.  How was this possible? He was here with me, safe and alive. This wasn't my imagination. There was no way that kiss and those eyes were all in my head. 

His face was panicked, as he faded more and more, trying desperately to hold onto me.

"Louis what's happening?" I asked. 

"Harry!" He called out, his voice distant. I reached my arms out to grab him, only to see his figure completely disappear, the last image in my mind was of his blue eyes looking at me for help. 

"Louis!" I called out, though no one was there. He was gone.  I had lost him again, the empty feeling in my chest proof of that.  Suddenly I was hit with a flood of memories, so powerful that they nearly made me sick.

*Flashback*

_I felt the pounding in my head as I opened my eyes, the cold snow soaking through my clothes. A warm liquid pooled down my neck, making my shirt stick to me.  I was woken by the loud yelling coming from down the road._

_"Shit, come on let's go! He's waking up!" Footsteps sounded in the distance.  I tried to sit up, feeling the blood rush, making me dizzy.  I took in the scene around me, the memories of what happened hitting me._ _I remembered the men coming at me with the knife, making me push Louis aside so he wouldn't get hit.  I was able to dodge the object, taking a swing at the man only to be met with a powerful fist to my stomach. I doubled over in pain, hearing Louis call out my name._

_"Louis, go! Get help. Please just leave!" I begged, feeling another hit, knocking me to the ground.  I tried to get back up, gripping my stomach breathless.  I turned to Louis, panic on his face.  He yelled out a warning as he noticed someone approaching from behind me.  I spun around, blocking the fist that was aimed for my face.  Louis rushed over, hitting the second man square in the jaw.  It sent him reeling backwards, allowing us the chance to escape.  I took Louis' hand pulling him faster beside me, my long legs outrunning his._

_"Come on, Louis, they're catching up" I yelled, watching as two of the men were only steps behind us. I searched for the third, not seeing him anywhere in sight.  I had to get Louis out of here; if anything were to happen to him and I wasn't able to protect him I would never forgive myself. He was suddenly so much smaller and more fragile in these moments, and I would do anything to make sure he made it out of here safely.  How was no one coming out to help us? Could they not hear our cries for help and the arguing that had been taking place? All we needed was one person to see us, to call the police so all of this could end and I wouldn't have to be faced with the possibility of something happening to Louis._

_"Get the fuck back here!"_

_Just as we were about to turn the corner to the street my dorm was on, the third man skidded in front of us, meeting me with a blow to the head with a heavy object.  I had no time to react before I stumbled back, seeing Louis reach for me and cry out.  I tried to hold his hand, wanting nothing more than to ease the pain I could see in his tear filled eyes, but I suddenly felt the hard ground beneath my body as I collapsed, my vision going blurry and dark._

_"Harry!" Louis called out, trying to rush to my side but one of the men stopping him, holding him back. I attempted to stand up and help him but I couldn't feel my body; only the darkness taking over me. I felt like time had stopped, a loud ringing in my ears._

_"Harry! NO!" He screamed, and I wanted to tell him that I was okay and to run.  To get as far away from here as he could.  No sounds escaped my lips._

_"Get away from him!" Louis continued and ran up and hit the smaller of the three in the stomach, knocking him backwards.  My heart lurched as I watched the men turn from me and begin cornering Louis.  Why, God, why was he so stupid? This wasn't the time to play martyr, this was the time to fight for your life and run._

_"Someone is feeling brave tonight, aren't they?" The larger man pressed, knocking Louis in the stomach._

_"Stop! Please! Leave him alone, take me instead!" I yelled out in my head.  I prayed for an ounce of strength to get up of this cold ground and help Louis, but I couldn't.  I couldn't feel my legs or arms, only the pounding in my head and the nausea filling my body as I watched the man I loved being beaten relentlessly.  What did we do to deserve this? What did Louis do? I tried to study the men's faces, seeing if I recognized any of them, but failed, though that could be a result of my vision beginning to spin. I_ _mages came and went in pieces as I faded in and out of consciousness, the screams and pleas to stop hurting him were only loud in my head; the men attacking him didn't hear me.  I could only watch and listen to the agonizing cries of Louis as he fell to the ground and took the kicks and hits that were thrown at him, curling in on himself to try and shield the attacks.  I felt the tears stream down my face, making my already blurry vision worse._ Please God, save him. I'll do anything, just don't let him die; you can't. Take me, he doesn't deserve to die. _I couldn't help but think of his sisters and mother who idolized the man before me.  How heartbroken they would be to have to bury their brother and son.  In just that one day I had met his mother, I knew she saw the world in Louis, and here he was, just out of my reach, broken and slipping away._ _I knew my prayers weren't going to be answered as t_ _he last thing I remembered was seeing the light in Louis' eyes fade out and close._

_I didn't know how long I was unconscous for as I anxiously searched around me, groaning in pain as I stood up.  The pounding in my head and sharp stabbing pain in my ribs protesting as I desperately tried to get to Louis.  The panic in my chest growing when I couldn't see him._

_"Louis!" I called out, finally spotting his small body slightly hidden beneath the fallen snow.  I ran over to him, noticing the dark red blood staining the pure white ground. The camera I had given him was crushed beyond repair a few feet from where he lay.  I gently touched his face, alarmed by how cold and lifeless he seemed_

_"Louis, wake up. Please Louis, listen to my voice. I'm right here." I rushed out, my voice shaking from the tears that threatened to spill over. He didn't move.  I checked his pulse, my heart dropping as I felt the barely there beats beneath his skin.  I looked around me, trying to see if anyone was around._

_"Help!"  I screamed out._

_"Someone please help me!" A few lights across the street flickered on, followed by movement behind the curtains.  I waved to them, trying to get their attention.  Seconds later a man and woman were running across the street, phone in hand. How were they just hearing me now?_

_"I need an ambulance at the corner of Webster and Shepard Avenue. There's two men here, one of them is unconscious. Oh God, there's so much blood.." The women hurriedly said into the phone. I stopped listening to her, focusing on the broken boy beside me.  Everything else became a blur as I heard the sirens wailing in the distance.  The man tried to talk to me, searching for any indication of what had happened.  I couldn't answer. My body no longer felt like my own._

_I tightly grasped Louis' lifeless hands within mine, rubbing them together to warm them, trying to bring some life back into him.  He looked so small and fragile laying here, making my heart sink at the thought of actually losing him._

Please, God, don't take him from me. I can't do this without him. I need him, I need you. Oh God, please don't let him leave me.

_I felt the tears rush down my face as the ambulance pulled up, a small crowd beginning to form around us._

_"Sir, are you injured?" The EMT asked, trying to look me over. I didn't respond. I felt as though I had no control over my body. I wasn't here right now, but lost in a world filled with heartache and fear._

_"Sir we have to get you into the ambulance, you have to let go of him so we can get him on a gurney." He pressed further.  I couldn't let go.  Letting go meant that I may lose him forever._

_"Sir, let go."_

_"No." I finally spoke, my voice hoarse, not sounding like my own. He reached down and attempted to pry my fingers from Louis' hands. I didn't budge, my grip on him turning my knuckles white._ Wake up, Louis, wake up. Tell them you're okay.  Just squeeze my hand back.  I know you can do it. Please, Louis, please God. 

_"If you want us to help him you need to move." With reluctance I let go, numbly stepping back watching as they cared for Louis.  Another EMT came to my side, noticing the blood on my clothes._

_"Sir let's get you into the truck, we need to take you to the hospital" She said, grabbing my arm to lead me away._

_"I can't leave him" I cried out, on the brink of a full on panic attack.  My hands began to shake at the thought of not being with Louis. I couldn't leave him. What if he woke up and I wasn't there to assure him that he was going to be okay and that I loved him? What if he didn't wake up and I wasn't there to say goodbye? My knees buckled at the thought and the woman's eyes filled with sympathy and understanding as she took my arm to steady me._

_"It's okay, he'll be right beside you on the way there. I promise." She reassured. With one last look at Louis who was now equipped with a neck brace and breathing tube being pumped by the EMT, I headed towards the ambulance, climbing inside.  The woman followed, sitting beside me to look at my head. I ignored her and the pain that ripped through my skull as she looked over the wound and attempted to clean it.  All I could focus on was_ _Louis' gurney being rolled in next to me, I returned my hand to his._

Please don't go Louis.  Everything will be okay.  I'm here for you and I'm never letting go.  

 _I watched as the EMT continued CPR on Louis, IVs now being injected into this arms. I couldn't help but notice how thin and blue his skin looked, almost the color of his faded lips._ _When we reached the hospital they quickly rushed Louis into the ER, I ran behind trying to keep up.  I watched as they lead him into a room, doctors following in behind._

_"Sir, come with me. We need to get you looked at too." The medic said to me, trying to pull me away.  I resisted, waiting outside the door as they worked on Louis. My eyes widened and heart raced as I heard a loud beeping from the machines. They cut open his shirt, revealing deep bruises that were beginning to form across his body.  My breath caught when I saw the source of most of the bleeding; a deep cut was slashed across his side, just below his rips.  I felt my knees begin to shake, my head spinning.  I was going to pass out.  Suddenly I was no longer staring at Louis, but feeling the cold tile of the floor against my head._

_"Someone help him!" A muffled voice called out.  I couldn't do this.  I couldn't be blacking out when Louis' life was hanging by just a thread.  I needed to be here for him, I needed to be by his side, protecting him like I couldn't before.  My body had other plans, however, as I quickly succumbed to the darkness._

_I knew I wasn't dead, because where I was was certainly not heaven, though maybe it was my own personal version of it.  There weren't any golden gates, or pearly white clouds awaiting me.  Instead I was looking at Louis and I laying in my small dorm bed. It was close to two in the morning, but time never seemed of importance when we were together.  I smiled to myself as I remembered this night. It was the one of the first times he had stayed over, and even though we had only known one another for a month or so, you could tell I was beginning to fall for him.  I walked closer to the bed, taking a seat at the chair by my desk. They didn't notice my presence, the conversation flowing as though I wasn't even here.  Louis was turned towards me, laying on his side with his head resting on his hand.  I was laying on my back, staring at the ceiling, knowing that if I were to be that close to him I wouldn't be able to keep from kissing him._

"Harry, what's your biggest fear?" _Louis asked, his blue eyed filled with honest interest.  Looking at him now, I could tell he was falling too.  I wouldn't have noticed during this time, but watching the two of us now it was so obvious how lost we were for one another.  My heart raced at the idea.  I should have told him I loved him sooner._

"I have quite a few, actually. Like heights and being buried alive..clowns too. Hate them."  _I said, mock shuddering at the thought.  Louis laughed._

"Clowns are terrifying, I will give you that." 

"But that's not your biggest fear."  _I stated.  He shook his head and turned over so he was facing the ceiling as well. He stayed quiet for a moment, seeming to think much more than I did about the topic._

"I guess my biggest fear is not getting to live my life. I'm not afraid of death, but more so about what I might miss out on.  I want the chance to travel and love and start a family. I've learned that life is so incredibly fragile that we shouldn't be afraid to live it; that's my fear, though, not getting the chance to."  _Louis confessed, leaving me in awe._

"That was only slightly morbid."  _I teased, earning a swat to the chest.  I knew now though how right he was.  Having the reality of Louis now fighting for his life, after not being able to accomplish any of those things he yearned for, made me see so much more clearly.  ._

"So I guess I'm going to have to step up my game, and take us skydiving and bungee jumping for our first date, then." _I responded, realizing I had let the topic of dating slip out.  I held my breath, gauging Louis' reaction.  Would he be freaked out by my question? It wasn't like the thought hadn't entered my mind before, but I wasn't sure where Louis stood with his feelings._

"I'd be extremely disappointed if you didn't."  _He responded, easing my overthinking mind.  I laughed in relief, both at him not getting offended, and the fact that he didn't deny  the idea of us going on dates._

_Watching the two of us like this made me yearn for a future with him even more.  It was so surreal seeing us from this perspective, and I had to admit that I liked it.  I liked seeing my eyes light up whenever Louis spoke, and how carefree and happy I seemed.  I liked how Louis appeared so at ease and comfortable being around me.  This is what it was supposed to be like.; us, together, safe and in love.  Louis was not meant to be fighting for his life, broken and bleeding in the hospital.  He was meant to have a future and be living his dreams, not his biggest fears._

_Suddenly there was a blinding light, blurring my vision of the two of us on the bed.  Voices came and went, seeming far in the distance._

_"He's waking up. Go get the doctor." A female voice declared, her figure becoming more and more clear.  I scanned the room, panicked at the change in environment, now looking at sterile white walls.  The room was cold, though I was under a thick thermal blanket.  It smelled of alcohol and lemon cleaning spray, and only now did it hit me that I was in a hospital bed.  Where was Louis? What happened?_

_I tried to jump out of bed, though restrained by the tubes coming out of my arms, and the machines strapped to my chest.  Two hands quickly pushed me back down._

_"Mr. Styles, you cannot get out of bed.  Please lay back down, your doctor will be in any minute to talk to you.  You're in St. Francis Medical, you were in an attack and are being treated.  Please, stay calm." The nurse rushed out, her brown eyes warm and friendly. I followed her request, though only because my head was still spinning slightly. I had to see Louis, was he alive? I heard the heart machine spike as the thoughts invaded my mind.  Images of the night flashed, making me more and more anxious for the doctors arrival.  I sighed in relief when he walked in minutes later.  He was a short and stout man, his brown hair thinning on the top.  He had blue eyes that reminded me somewhat of Louis', though no where near as bright._

_"Mr. Styles, I'm Dr. Hammonds, and I have been treating you.  Do you know what happened?"  I  nodded and he smiled, before opening my file and skimming through it._

_"You suffered from two broken ribs, bruising, and a head injury.  It wasn't bad, but you have a mild concussion and ten stitches.  You fainted before from a loss of blood and shock.  It was not out of the ordinary for something like that to happen, especially after all you went through, but we ran test to make sure those were the only causes for the episode.  You-" The doctor explained before I cut him off, only half paying attention to what he was saying. All that I cared about was Louis and what happened to him._

_"Where is the man I came in with? Is he alright?" My voice was hoarse, and I held my breath waiting for his response._

_"He was in bad shape.  A very serious stab wound, a head injury, severe trauma to his torso-"_

_"But he's alive?"_

_"Yes, he is alive.  He has been out of surgery for a few hours now, and has regained consciousness.  He is still a little foggy, but has been asking for you." I couldn't help the cry that escaped my lips, my vision blinded by the tears that spilled over.  He was alive. He was here and safe and there was no way I was going to let that ever change._

_"Can I see him? Please," I begged, and I wasn't sure if it was the desperation in my voice, or if they simply pitied me, but the doctor shook his head before asking the nurse to bring in a wheel chair.  I nervously tapped my fingers against my leg as I watched the floors tick by in the elevator.  Minutes seemed like hours as I waited to reach Louis' room. My heart stopped when I saw his name posted outside the door.  This was it, I could finally see him after this nightmare that we experienced._

_"I can do it from here, thank you." I said to the nurse.   She eyed me over one last time, making sure I was able to wheel myself into the room without any assistance, before turning and walking to the main nurses station.  I gripped the wheels tightly, feeling the burn in my ribs from the action.  The doctor had given me a dosage of pain medication, but I could tell they were beginning to ware off._

_When I entered the room, my heart sank.  I had never seen Louis look so small and fragile.  His head was wrapped in a white bandage, his face swollen and bruised; his lip was split down the middle, blood drying in the crease.  His chest was naked aside from the fabric that was fastened around his middle where the stab wound was placed.  I tried to remain calm, knowing that what Louis needed was reassurance and strength.  This wasn't about me anymore and how I was feeling._

_"Harry?" a voice choked out, barely above a whisper.  When I looked up I saw two blue eyes shining back at me, and was reminded of the image of his empty eyes when I first blacked out.  I thanked God that that was no longer the case, and he was once again the man I knew had so much life within him.  I wheeled myself beside his bed, only inches from his side.  It felt incredible being by him now, knowing that everything was going to be alright._

_"Oh God, Louis, I can't-I thought you were going to die." I said, trying not to break, though my shaking voice betrayed me. He looked at me, and patted the spot next to him on the bed, motioning for me to join him.  Easing myself up from the chair, I gently sat in place, afraid I was going to hurt him.  He seemed to sense my hesitation, and looked at me pointedly,_

_"Harry, they have me so strung out on pain medications that I'm surprised I remember your name.  You won't hurt me.  I just need you to come here now." Louis declared and I followed his request, curling up beside his small body in the bed.  He ran his fingers through my hair, trying to comfort me.  It should be the other way around, but I was too afraid to touch him.  Instead I settled for carefully taking his hand in mine, grateful that it wasn't as cold and lifeless as it was hours before._

_"I was so scared, Louis, I thought I was going to lose you." I choked out, my chest throbbing from the act.  Looking up I saw Louis's eyes fill with the same emotion._

_"You know you can't get rid of me that easily." He teased, making me laugh in relief._

_"I was scared, too though.  For a while there I really did think I was going to die.  Everything became so dark and it was like I was floating. I saw my dad, though.  He was there, waiting for me, which makes me think that maybe I did die. He told me how proud he was of me, and how he had been watching over my sisters, mom and I since he had been gone.  God, it was so strange seeing him.  He looked exactly the same as I remembered...He told me it wasn't my time just yet, though." Louis explained, though through jagged breaths._

_"I'm glad it wasn't.  You have so much to live for, Louis. All I kept thinking about was your family, and how heartbroken they'd be.  I can't imagine a world without you.  I don't want to." I confessed.  He simply watched me with understanding eyes, still running his fingers through my hair._

_"You won't have to. I'm here now and I'm not leaving.  I love you, Harry, and I'm going to make sure to remind you every chance I get because we don't know when it could all end.  All that mattered to me was that you were safe, and the rest was irrelevant.  But we're both here now and we are going to live our lives loving one another freely and endlessly." Louis said, making the darkness in my heart begin to subside._

_"I love you too, Lou.  Nothing will ever change that. I-" I stopped, suddenly feeling a warm liquid pooling beside me.  When I looked down I saw that Louis wound was bleeding, filling the bandage and bed between us. I panicked and jumped up, my head spinning with the motion.  Louis looked up at me, his face pale, eyes frantic._

_"Harry, what's happening?" He rushed out, just before the monitors began flashing loudly.  I couldn't understand what all the numbers meant, but when I looked back down at Louis his eyes were rolling in the back of his head, the heart monitor holding a single steady note.  Oh God, he was flat lining._

_"Someone help! He's dying!" I screamed into the hallway, a crowd of nurses rushing over.  I stood back as they lowered his bed, removing the pillow behind his head.  Everything was happening so fast that I didn't even notice the doctor by his side._

  _"He's crashing!" He called out, starting up the paddles that were already placed beside him. A nurse ripped the blankets off, before placing the objects on his chest._

 _"Clear!" The doctor yelled, watching as Louis' body thumped lifelessly on the table.  I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest as they continued to attempt to revive Louis, all no to avail.  I was losing him. He was leaving me. How could this happen? I was just talking to him, listening to him tell me about how much he loved me and how it wasn't his time.  What changed? Was fate really so cruel as to let Louis think he actually had been given a second chance at life?  This couldn't be the end, I refused to believe it, but w_ i _th a final charge of the machine, I held my breath as the last shock was delivered. We waited, looking desperately at the monitor for any signs of life.  There was nothing._

_The doctor sighed, placed the paddles back on the machine and looked at his watch._

_"Time of death 5:03" He declared before looking down at me.  I couldn't breath. I couldn't move.  I watched as the love of my life slipped from within my grasp.   Everything that I had ever hoped for was now gone.  Louis was dead._

_I collapsed to the floor, not being able to hold myself up any longer._ _Why was this happening? This kind, loving, man didn't deserve to die.  He was too good for this world, he was too good for me, though somehow we were brought together. Now he was gone.  No chance at a future filled with a family and love and happiness.  No chance to see the world and become something bigger than he ever anticipated.  All of it was gone. I'd no longer see the light in his eyes as he talked about the new photographs he had taken.  I wouldn't be able to hear his voice as he whispered that he loved me before bed at night.  I would no longer wake up to his warm body in the morning, thinking how lucky I was to have him here with me.  I wouldn't be able to hear his carefree laugh or the taste of his lips against my own.  It was over._

_I hadn't noticed the violent sobs escaping my body, or the pained noises that fell from my lips with each cry until I felt the gentle touch of someone behind me, their hands on my arms._

_"I'm sorry sir, but we need to take his body." They said._

_"No! I can't leave him, I can't leave him again. He's scared and alone, and I need to be with him, I have to protect him!" I screamed, making the nurses turn to me, their faces mixed with despair and sympathy.  I rocked myself back and forth, refusing to grasp the reality that Louis was dead.  This was all my fault, I should have saved him.  If I had been there for him, maybe he would be alive now._

_"Sir, you need to calm down." One nurse said, leaning down to rub my back and restrain my rocking. I shuddered into her chest, trying hard to breath, though the pain in my chest made it nearly impossible with my sobs.  This wasn't real.  Louis wasn't dead, I'd wake up and he'd be right there beside me, his warm body pressed to my back, heart beating against his chest._

_"Louis, Louis, please, don't leave me." I repeated to myself over and over, until a doctor came to my side and injected my arm.  I knew what it was, and I could only pray the darkness would take over soon so I could escape this nightmare.  With one last look at the lifeless man in front of me, I slowly faded into a place where Louis and I could actually be._

 

*End Flashback*

I felt my chest being ripped open at the memories of losing Louis. I hadn't realized the room was spinning until I was sitting on the ground, the pain becoming unbearable. It felt as though all the oxygen was being sucked out of me along with everything else.  I tried to breathe deep and calm myself, but it was pointless against the choked out sobs that left my mouth. It wasn't as much of a cry as it was a strangled scream.  Just when I thought we had made it, that Louis was safe and here with me, fate had to take him away, and with him every bit of life I had left in me.  This wasn't happening, it was all just a dream.  Louis was here, he'd be right there through the mirror the second I called out to him. I got up and stumbled out the bedroom door, heading straight for the object hanging on the wall. What surprised me was that I was no longer looking through the mirror and onto the other side, but instead at my own terrified reflection. No, God please no. 

"Louis!" I called out again and again, though knowing very well that this was it, it was all over. My face was covered in tears as they poured down my face, my body going numb.  I ripped the frame off the wall in frustration, throwing it to the ground with as much force as I could.  It shattered in pieces, scattering along the hardwood floor. How could you leave me, Lou? Why wasn't I able to save and protect you? I laced back and forth, knotting my fingers through my hair, yanking in frustration when I saw the scene before me. Oh God what had I done? 

I fell to my knees, frantically trying to pick up the pieces of the shattered mirror. God I was such a fucking idiot. This was the only thing I had left of Louis, this was the only chance I had at ever trying to find him again.  Every late night conversation, every stolen  glance and reluctant goodbye. It was all gone now.  All that was left was the memories we shared the last few months.  I had nothing but those flashes of us, only being able to truly hold him in my arms for the first time tonight. Nothing compared to how it felt to actually feel him beside me, and I'd do anything to have that if only for another moment. I'd do anything to have him back.

I promised he would make it through this, and that he would live his life to be an old man.  My heart broke at all the possibilities he had, and everything that he could have offered the world.  I would have followed him anywhere; in those few months I had known him, it had felt like a lifetime, and I wasn't ready to say goodbye to that. 

Images of the night he died played over and over in my head, a knife being driven into my heart with each that passed.  This was all my fault.  I was supposed to protect him.  He was dead and his family and I would never get the chance to see him again.  

I now had memories of his burial and the pain within his mothers eyes as we said our last goodbyes at the cemetery. I had only met her once, but she quickly came to my side, pulling me into a tight embrace. I tried to comfort her as best I could without shattering myself.  This poor woman now had to raise her five grief stricken daughters on her own. Louis would no longer be here to brighten each of our days, or offer his love and kind heart.  This was it, it was over.  

I gave up of trying to put the pieces of the mirror back together, my hands bloodied from the sharp fragments I had cut myself on. I laughed to myself realizing that I was turning to hysterics. It seemed insane of me to be reacting this way, but I couldn't help but laugh at how fucked up everything was. I had had everything I ever wanted in the world; Louis gave me hope, he gave me love and acceptance and a future, and now he as gone. Ripped away as if he never existed. It almost didn't seem real, nothing proving anything had ever truly happened between us besides the memories that now haunted my mind. That's all I was left with now. Just the painful reminders of everything that I couldn't have; of a life that Louis no longer had hope for.  All that remained was the faded images of the two of us, happier than we had ever been. 

Suddenly I remembered what Louis had said to me the night he died, only a short time before the attack.  I frantically searched the apartment looking for the gift he had said he'd hidden for me to find. At the time I laughed, thinking that it was just another one of his silly games, but now part of me believed he did it intentionally.  When the apartment was in complete disarray I stepped back, thinking about where he may have put the gift, knowing that I would be searching for it. 

I sighed in relief when I found a small, slightly dusty box, hidden within my bookcase.  I quickly opened it, finding folded piece of paper placed beside another blue box.  I opened it, eager to read the words it contained.

_Harry,_

_If you're reading this letter it means that you found my gift.  However, it also means that our plan didn't work, and I am not the one giving this to you like I had hoped.  I wrote this in anticipation of that being the case.  I'm not sure what exactly happened, whether I did actually die somehow, or if fate pulled us apart, but what I do know is that wherever we end up, I will always be with you._

_Sitting here writing this, I thought about your theory on why all of this was happening between us; that this was my shot at a second chance at life and you were going to help save me. I have my own theory now, though.  Harry I think we were brought together to give you a second chance; this was my opportunity to show you what love really was. This was your second chance to see that you deserve to be loved and cherished, and to live your life knowing that you are capable of having someone feel that way about you.  That's what I felt in being with you.  My heart belongs to you, and that wont ever change.  I found my home in you, Harry, and I will never stray from from that._

_~Louis_

I placed the tear stained paper on the table, turning the blue box over in my hand.  When I opened it I saw a silver necklace placed neatly within it, a simple circle pendant hanging from the chain.  I pulled it out, confused by the gift.  When I looked at it closely, however, I noticed an engraving along the edge of the ring, weakly smiling to myself.  

_Always in my heart_

I turned the small pendant over in my hand, studying it.  I wasn't sure what to think of his letter. Did he really believe this was my second chance? It didn't seem to make sense; this was for him, not me. This was supposed to be his chance at a life filled with love and happiness, and I was only meant to be there to watch along the way.

He really did show me love, though.  Had I not met him, I'm not sure if I ever would have found it.  What I thought was love turned out to be minimal in comparison.  I loved Louis with a fierceness that left me breathless, and for some reason he felt the same towards me.  Nothing would ever make me forget that, not matter how much time passed without him here. I'd always love Louis; he was my home just as much as I was his. 

I fastened the necklace, holding the pendant in my hand while walking towards the bedroom.  It felt so cold and empty in here. Only a short time ago I was waking up to Louis beside me, and now I was left to mourn his death.  Turning over in bed, I saw the photo of us on the end table.  It was the one of us in the park, both smiling like idiots.  I took it and pulled it close, memorizing the way Louis' eyes lit up and seemed infinite even in a photo.  I studied the crinkles by his eye and the way his smile made him scrunch up his nose. This was how I would remember Louis. Not in pain and torment while he was being attacked, or broken and bleeding in the hospital.  I wouldn't see the way his bright eyes faded out, or how his soft body lost its warmth.  When I closed my eyes I'd see the man in the mirror who I fell in love with. 

"Love you, Lou" I mumbled out, hoping he could hear me wherever he was.  I held the photo tight against me, before falling asleep, swimming in a sea of blue. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys that's the end of it! We really hoped you enjoyed the story, though know it probably seemed rushed and confusing. It was meant to be a short, 10 chapter story, though so we had a lot of content and time to go through. Please let us know what you thought. Thank you so much for all of your votes and comments, we appreciate and read every one!


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